FORGIVING PAIN
by Twilight.lover731
Summary: What happens if Edward left and Bella was carrying there child and has to go through it alone? but when Edward returns and see's she has a baby what will he think? will he know it's his, or will Bella tell him it belongs to another? find out and see!
1. prologue

Prologue

"I love you Edward Cullen," I said as I laid my head on his bare chest, inhaling his sweet scent, and then placing a kiss on his shoulder, Then he carefully leaned down and kissed my head, "I love you Bella Swan"

That was the night Edward gave me the best gift ever at least I thought it was,

Until later………….


	2. Oh Crap did not see that coming

**AN. Hey guy's it's Jazmin, this is a note to the one's who have read this story before it was fixed there has been some changes to the story and it will be longer because I didn't really want to end it yet, but you might have to read it once more to know what's going on sorry, **

Oh crap I did no see that coming

It has been 3 week's 2 day's since my life seem to have ended the day the love of my life left me alone, "Bella? BELLA?" I heard someone say then I was brought back to reality bye the voice of Jacob Black, my best friend well my half human. Half huge werewolf friend, "Bella" he said again I totally forgot I was at La Push beach. With Jacob, and Quil I guess I just got side track with thinking of my lost love,

I was trying to hide my pain from Jacob but he new me to well, he could see it in my eyes when I was in pain and that was almost all the time, the first 2 week's after the Cullen's left I was a dead person walking I couldn't eat, I still don't smile or laugh and every night, I wake up screaming, just last week I shut my window after being opened for a week. As much as it hurt to look at the fact that he's not coming, that my Prince was never coming back. A tear fell from my face, I wiped it away fast so Jake wouldn't see.

But he had wolf reflexes by the time I had it wiped off my face he had picked me up in his big arms and whispered "Hey Bells what wrong you okay?"

"I'm fine Jacob" I told him with little life In my dead voice.

"Okay well no more crying, lets go for a walk, because Quil looks like he might die if he doesn't get to race you across the beach, Jake" I said.

"Okay come on bell's" he lifted me on his back so I wouldn't be left behind, I felt my heart break once more, I remembered my Edward lifting me as we ran just for fun so he could feel the wind in his hair. No stop Bella he wasn't your Edward, he never was, I was waken from my thoughts once again by Jacob

"Okay Bella you say 1..2..3 okay?"

"Okay Jake got it," I replied trying to fill my voice with happiness but failed.

Jacob looked at Quil and said "Okay you ready to lose Quil?"

Quil just rolled his eyes, "Okay Bella now" Jacob said.

"Okay 1……2…….3…..GO," I yelled and then before I could close my eyes we where running so fast that I got dizzy, I saw the water blur past us till we got to the trees and I watched those blur even more around us, then we came to a stop, wow that was fast we where already standing on Sam and Emily's front porch. "Ha." Jacob let out a thunderous laugh, I just rolled my eyes, and then Quil appeared out of the woods .

"Dang it, I thought I had you," he told Jacob. As we walked in to Emily's house Emily and I have actually became really good friends once I got to know her and all, as we entered the room I could smell Emily had made fish fry, the smell of the oil and fish made my stomach twist and turn.

"Hey Bel…." Emily was about to say, but then stopped and looked at me, "Are you okay Bella?" She asked. "No" And I ran to Emily's bathroom holding my hand to my mouth, and threw up, Emily came running after me, and she held my hair for me as I vomited.

"You okay sweetie" she asked.

"Yeah am fine it passed," I said.

"Okay. So how have you been holding up Bella?" she asked. As I rinsed my mouth, "I've been better I guess," then she gave me a big hug and asked, if I was hungry.

"No" I answered "I ate before I left Charlie's", I replied "Mm what did you eat" Jacob asked as I walked into the living room. "Oh I ate pizza"

"Dang Bella" Jacob said "Didn't you eat pizza last night for dinner and for lunch?" He asked I blushed.

"Well I've been craving it a lot," I admitted sheepishly. He smiled, but Emily just looked at me as if I was from a different planet. Then Sam stood up and said "OK well boy's lets go",

"Where are you going?" I asked, "Where going for a run. Some of these boys need to get back in shape" he looked over to Quil.

"What?" Quil asked, Sam just laughed "Okay Bella you will be staying with Emily all day ok?"

"Okay" I said back, after they left, I sat down with Emily at there table, she was eating her fish fry and the smell was making my stomach hurt again, she asked me if I wanted any, but before I could say no, I ran to the bathroom, she ran this time with me to help me with my hair, when I was done she sat me on the bathroom floor with her, and asked me something I never thought she  
would.

"Bella she said did you have A physical relationship with Edward?"

That took me by surprise. "Um……"

"It's ok Bella you can tell me we're friends right?" she stated "Yeah you are my friend" I didn't know how to say this, "Um well once about a week before he left, for my birthday, why?" I said looking down at my hands, "Um Bella has Edward been the only person ever? Like since he left?" Why is she asking me this? "No. Edward was the only one," I asked why again.

"Bella have you been feeling sick and light headed a lot?" How did she know? I looked up from my hands and answered, "Yeah but it's mostly in the morning,"

"Bella I think you might be pregnant,"

"WHAT?!" I screamed.

"Calm down Bella," she said.

"Emily how I can't be pregnant? Vampires can't have babies,"

She paused to think for a second. " I got it! Think Bella, women vampires cant have kid's because there bodies can't change so carry a child they never said anything about vampire men, don't there bodys stay the same almost all there life? Just think Bella has there ever been any couple like you and Edward before?"

What is she saying "Not that I know of" I said.

"Bella you're body can grow you can carry a baby, so your body could still get pregnant!" wow I was so shocked I moved and sat on the edge of the bath tub.

"Are you sure Emily?" I asked.

"No I'm not sure but there's one way to find out," she pulled a pregnancy test out from under the bathroom sink

"Why do you have that?" I asked.

She blushed, but it was kinda hard to see because of her rusty color skin. "Well Sam and I tried for a while so I had a few left, by the time we took a break,"

She Giggled while remembering an old memory "Okay so do you know what to do?" she asked.

"I think so, I've seen movies and TV shows where they have to do it don't you just have to pee on it?" I asked.

"Yes that's what you have to do and then wait three minutes ok I'll leave you alone so you can do what you have to do"

When I was alone in the bathroom I did what I had to do, so this test can either change my life or keep it just the same, and began to wait.

While a waited I sat on the floor thinking, me a Mom? Having Edwards baby I kinda liked the sound of that, but could I really take care of another life? I can barley keep myself from tripping on a daily bases let alone carrying a Baby, could I? Did I really want to be a Mom at 18 and alone? Well am about to find out, I stood up and lifted the test off the bathroom counter and read that  
one word that made my heart pound, 'YES', it said I didn't know how it did it but that one little three letter word made me smile,

"EMILY" I screamed.

"What Bella?!" Emily came running, she had a scared look on her face, I fell to the ground crying sad and happy tears "Bella what does it say?"

"I'm…I'm… having a baby!"

"Edward baby," she muttered.

**Hope you all enjoyed that,**


	3. My suprise new's

My surprise news

"I'm…I'm… having a Baby!!!!!!" I sobbed "Edward's baby," I told Emily, while sobbing on the bathroom floor, an in that very moment all I could think of was Edward, and I could see his face in my mind, which made me cry even more. "Oh Bella, be happy! You're going to be a mommy some people never get to be a mom," she wiped my tears and wrapped her arms around me.

"But Emily my baby will never know Edward, and Edward will never know he's going to be a daddy or that there's such thing in this world that could belong to him, I mean we had no Idea this kind of thing could happen, there's no way I can get a hold of him," I kept rambling on.

"Calm down lets take one step at a time, you just barley found out about this" she said while placing a hand on my tummy, "You still need to find a way to tell your dad and every one."

OH CRAP! I thought. Charlie is going to kill me! I stood up off the floor, "Emily how am I going to tell my dad? What about Jake?" oh Jake this was going to kill him, he was going to hate me.

"Bella we will think of something ok you will not be alone and if any of them have a problem with this then they can screw off got it? " Emily said. I just nodded my head. Just then we heard the guys come  
In the door "Emily, Bella"? Sam called. I felt my heart fall to my stomach.

"Where In here Sam!" Emily called "We'll be right out." I said right after her. "Bella I want you to know I've got your back I will be with you at all times, okay?" she said in a soothing tone "Okay" I said in a weak voice, I turned to the mirror and wiped my eyes, straightened my clothes, and hand in hand with Emily I walked out to the living room ready to face my fate!

"Guy's Bella has to tell you something" Emily said no I wasn't ready to drop the bomb, I felt sick to my stomach as I looked at Jacobs Happy face knowing I was going to probably hurt him with my news  
"Shoot Bell's." Jacob said a little to happy.

"Well Um... well…" I stuttered not knowing how to say this.

"Just get to the point!" Paul said. And then Sam hit him with a pillow.

"Go on Bella." Sam said calmly. .

"Bella why are you crying?" Jacob asked, oh why did he have to be so nice and care about me? It would make things so much easier if he just hated me!

"Because you guy's won't like me after I tell you!"

"Bella—" Sam stopped Jake from continuing.

"Bella whatever it is we will never stop liking you, for you are like are sister, you are part of this pack and nothing will ever change that even though I might have a fair clue what you are going to tell us but I hope am wrong."

Oh why did he have to say that, it just made me feel worse Emily could see I was falling apart and she put her arms around me once more.

"Yeah What Sam said! But up till the part about the fair clue because right now I'm lost?" Jacob said with a grin.

"Ok well I'm...I'm...well guys I'm going to have a baby as in am pregnant but its not just any baby its Edwards baby," I blurted out. Wishing I could suck the words back in.

All there mouth's dropped except Sam's, Sam looked very calm, and then I looked at Jacob, there was pain in his eye's and he was shaking. He looked as if he might burst out into tears, and that just broke my heart, but to my surprise he stormed out

"Jake wait!" I yelled "Bella", Sam said. "Give him some time," he stated "Ok." I said with a slight frown "but your not mad, right?" I asked him looking in his eyes for the truth.. I don't want everyone to hate me.

"No I'm not mad. You had no idea you could get pregnant with a vampire, so there for it wasn't your fault, this was bound to happen and we don't know anything about half bloo—I mean vampire children, so we'll wait before we do anything! But so you know Bella, we will be with you every step of the way, and for who ever has a problem with that can leave," he declared.

A tear fell down my cheek "Thank you so much Sam," I walked over to him and gave him a big thank you hug, then I ran out the door Jacob had enough time.

"Jake?" I called. I spotted him quickly, he was sitting on the edge of the forest, "Jake" I called again, as I ran up and sat next to him, he was sitting on a big rock and you could see all the forest while sitting on it. "Why Bella why did you have to be having? A bloodsucker's baby? Why not mine!" he shouted furious. I flinched.

"Jake," I couldn't find the words for it, "I'm sorry," that was all I could manage. Jacob looked at me and saw that I was crying.

"I know, Im sorry Bella I shouldn't act that way I mean it's not like it's going to live long enough to open its eyes right away and ruin everything right?" he asked. I was in shock what was he saying he was saying that I should kill my Baby? NONEVER, that thought was making me really pissed and I wanted to punch something.

"I couldn't I wouldn't! Jake!" I smacked him in the head but I think it might of hurt me more "Ouch! What was that for?" He bewildered. "IM NOT GETTING RID OF MY BABY!" He looked at me with sorry eyes.

"I guess I knew that!" He said quietly.. A tear fell from my eye. "It... it's the only thing I have left of him Jake!" I whimpered.

"I know Bells am sorry forget I said that!" he begged. But I wasn't crying over what he said, I was crying over the fact that Edward wouldn't be here to see his baby.

"Ok really Bells I'm sorry!" he said again.

I stood up "Ok your forgiven" I said, he stood up and gave me a big bear hug, "Ugh--Jake-- can't-- breath." he set me down and laughed.

"So how are you going to tell Charlie?" he questioned. " Ugh I don't know," I said. "I forgot about him. Well will you be there with me? I don't want to do it alone." I asked.

"Sure Bella, I'll be with you the whole way, promise. I'll stick with you the whole nine months or whatever this leech has you in for." he said grinning.

I was about to smack him on the head again for calling my baby a leech. Then he saw the expression on my face. "Okay, okay the baby," I smiled and he smiled in return, and then I knew my life would be ok if it wasn't the fact that I still had to tell my dad....

~Later that Day~

"YOU'RE WHAT?! BUT YOU'RE ONLY EIGHTEEN! I TRUSTED YOU," Charlie yelled furious. His face was slowly turning a different shade from pink to red to deep red to purple.

"I know. I'm sorry Dad," I said in a whisper. He seemed to calm himself a bit, and once again I slowly watched his face change colors it took a few moments to go back to just red.

"Who's the dad?" he asked while eyeing Jacob, and for a second I thought his hand was twitching toward his gun, and Jake, I think, saw that too. Jacob probably was hoping I would say something fast, well not that it would hurt him if my Dad shot him but….

"Its….. Its." I fumbled with my mind to find the right words for this "Well Bella go on who's the father?" He asked his voice rising again and face slowly turning more red.

"Edward," I finally said. The look on his face when I said Edward was unexplainable he looked like he was about to blow up. I looked down at my hands waiting for him to say something.

"Damn it, he left you pregnant and alone how could he do that? If I had any reason to kill him before I have an even bigger reason to kill him now." He screamed.

"No Dad!", I yelled "Edward doesn't even know and I plan to keep it that way! Got it?" I snapped. "But Bella, you told me that you and Edward weren't doing anything" he stated.

"I know dad it just sort of happened." I mumbled.

" Ok what ever you say Bells. What do you plan to do? Are you going to leave find your own home? Will you stay here? Its okay with me if you want to." It looked like he was going to cry when he said that, and once again I felt horrible.

"Oh daddy." I cried then I hugged him, and the way he hugged me it felt like I was six again, when I would run up to him after not seeing him for a year and he would hold on to me for a while, not wanting to let go, for fear I would leave again, and I always felt safe in the arms of my daddy, not that I would tell him that.

" It's just, you won't be my baby girl any more you will be someone's mommy, and I'll be some ones grandpa."

I laughed "Its okay." He laughed. " I love you so much daddy," A single tear fell from his eye but he wiped it off, "and I don't know what I'm going to do, but I think I will stay here with you" He let go of me and took a step back "Okay Bella whatever you do I will help you with it." he told me. That made me happy everyone I loved, knew about my news, my little miracle every one except the most important one, and that killed me inside. I placed my hand on my stomach and felt a little bump and call me crazy but I felt my baby move , I smiled. My little piece of Edward was in there, and from that moment I knew I loved it.

~The Next Day~

"Emily." I said as I sat there in her small kitchen nibbling on a piece of bread. "Yeah Bella?" she said while walking out of her and Sam's room with white bed sheets she was going to wash. "I was thinking last night, I want to get a camera and take photos all through my pregnancy so that if Ed….Edward comes back he can see what he missed in the baby's life. I want to make a box. And fill it with things,  
like the box that my pregnancy test came in and the photo with my phone of the test when it said yes. And I want to make a video of when the baby's was born. What do you think?" I was so excited with my plan that I didn't stop to take a breath. Emily looked at me and giggled.

"That's a wonderful idea Bella and I will help you with every thing, I'm here till the end Bella, I promise," she said. I ran up and hugged Emily "Thank you Emily," I rejoiced. My life was going to be different from that point on, but as long as I had my little miracle I would be willing to face any thing.

**Hope you all liked that Chapter, **


	4. Pain & Letters

A/N: Hey guys it's me FYI there is a few new chapters for the one's who  
have  
read this story before it was fixed, I really wanted you guys to see what  
Bella was like before we skipped the 4 months in the original version of my  
story so tell me if you like it or you felt like it slowed the story down!  
Well bye, ENJOY p.s this Chapter was inspired by one of my fav songs by Katy Perry called 'Im still breathing' so that's the song for this chapter!

~2 weeks later~

Wow was all I could say as I stared at myself in the mirror. I looked  
like I was about three months pregnant instead of a month and a half, and  
what was crazy was that every now and then something in my belly would move,  
it was crazy! My baby is  
now my little nudger, I admit I had to laugh at that thought. I stopped  
looking at  
myself in the mirror and got dressed I put on my gray sweats and a black  
t-shirt the only thing in my closet that fit. Today was the day I thought I  
would never see again, so I put on my rain boots and stuck on my jacket, and  
ran down stairs and of course, being me, I tripped on the last step. Thank god  
Charlie was there to catch me.

"Wow Bella slow down you don't want to fall and hurt the baby now do  
you?" he cautioned.

"No! And thank you for catching me" I replied he saw I had my jacket and  
boots on and he raised an eyebrow.

"Where are you going Bella?" he questioned.

Ok Bella stay claim and don't  
let your face give yourself away I thought to myself. "Um I think I just  
might drive  
around for a while I'll be back later."

He looked like he bought my story "Okay. well be

careful"

"Okay." I ran out the door before he could say anything more, I climbed  
into my truck and jumped at the noise of my engine, you'd think I would have  
gotten used to it by now, and I slowly drove away from the house and before I  
new it I was there at the beginning of the trail to where the meadow is. I got  
out of the car and started walking. If I kept at this pace up I would be there  
in 2  
hours. As I walked I couldn't hear birds or anything like when I was here  
with him, and it  
was to cold for wild flowers. It was like the meadow was lost without him,  
like I was. As I  
got closer to the meadow I started to feel numb.I was right it the middle of  
his meadow I  
was standing a few feet away from where we laid, then I felt like I  
couldn't  
breathe as painful memories surrounded me.

"Ugh! "I fell to the ground clutching my stomach for air. Why did he not  
know how deeply I loved him? Or did he just not care? As much as  
I wanted to hate him I couldn't I just couldn't! After maybe a half hour  
of  
just sitting there waiting for the pain to go and numbness to come over me,  
it  
never did.

"Ahhhhhhh" I screamed and got up and ran not caring about anything of  
course I fell a few times but I just got back up and ran, till I reached my  
truck I jumped in to the seat and started slamming my fist's against the  
wheel. "Why?!" I sobbed why didn't he love me? After a hour of crying I  
started the car and drove home. When I finally got into the house I ran to my  
room, thank god Charlie wasn't home, I didn't want to explain to him how I  
was feeling. I got to my room and slammed the door,pulling off me boots and  
jacket and crashed on my bed. How can you have so many people love and care  
about you but yet still feel so alone and lost? I clutched my heart as I felt  
the pain and this kind of pain has no kind of cure, nothing can ever save me  
from myself. If someone would have asked me a few months ago if Edward and I  
where in love I would have said with out a doubt, if he only new how much I  
need him, how much I  
want him with me. The only reason I'm still breathing today is for my baby,  
my father  
and my friends.

As I thought of my Baby I felt a little pat on the inside of my stomach.  
"We're going to be ok." I said out loud so maybe my baby could hear, "I  
hope." I sat  
there for a few seconds rubbing my bump, then I got a idea, I would write a  
letter to Edward and stick it in the baby book so maybe one day he could read  
it.

I jumped out of bed and grabbed a piece of paper and pen, and sat on my cold  
hard floor and started to write,

Dear Edward,

Hi it's me Bella, well I'm sure you know that, I just want you to know that  
I  
loved you very much and no matter what Charlie or Jacob or anyone says or  
tries to do, nothing will ever change the way I felt about you Edward.  
You where the first and only person who ever made me feel the way a  
feel about you, and I don't know maybe I was to plain or to stupid and  
just not up to your standards and not an off to keep you around but I could  
have swore you didn't care about those thing's because you loved me, but  
I  
guess not, maybe I really didn't have what it took to keep you around, but  
I  
don't want you to feel bad because those few months you where with me  
where  
the best months I ever had, and I wouldn't trade them for any thing, and  
if  
you really left because you didn't love me then well I guess that was good  
because I would rather you gone then to make me believe a lie, but this one  
promise I swear to you Edward is that I will love you till the day I take my  
last breath, till the day I leave this world and longer I will love you, and  
I  
truly wish you the best Edward, I hope you find happiness with whoever it  
is,  
or were ever it is, and well now it's time to close this chapter of my  
life  
and open this new one you have given me and you didn't even know you did,

Good bye Edward,

Love,

Bella

As sealed my heart away, I kissed the envelope and I laid it on my desk,  
hoping that Edward does find someone to make him happy, love is giving  
someone the power  
to break you and trusting them not to, and I trusted Edward with every thing  
I  
had, but in the end it didn't work, if I couldn't make him happy no  
matter  
how much it killed me to think of someone with my Edward, I hope he finds  
someone. That makes him happy, even though he's not mine, I will always be  
his and he knows it, because the night I gave him all my love, was the night  
I  
became forever his, and nothing could change that not even death.

But this I do wish, I wish for my prince to find a real princess to run off  
into the sunset with,.

And as I shed my last tear for my lost love, and the small part of me happy  
knowing that if he does find someone I will always have something they will  
never have or could never give Edward, a Baby, and I laid my head on the  
pillow ready to let my dreams take over me, holding my stomach the whole  
night.

Thanks again to my wonderful Beta 'Sisterhoodfan'


	5. Changing

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A/N: Hey hope you guys Enjoy this chapter, The playlist song is:Miley Cyrus '_simple song'_, I wouldn't say it helped inspire this chapter, it's just the song I listen to while writing this chapter, ok well am just going to leave you, so you can read, Bye :D

**

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**4. Changing **

I woke up the next morning feeling kind of sick, my stomach hurt really bad. And I felt like I needed to throw up,

I jumped out of bed and ran for the bathroom throwing the blankets of my bed on the floor,

when I made it to the toilet I vomited which was worse because it was more like

gagging because I did not have any food in me.

"Ugh its like morning sickness all over again," I mumbled to myself, I hated morning sickness the first time! I thought it was supposed to be gone by now, I went to the mirror ugh I look

like crap. Then I grabbed my tooth brush and brushed my teeth and combed threw the mess I

called hair. When I was done with that I went back to my room and put the blankets back on the bed, and looked out the window to see if Charlie had left yet, and of course he had gone fishing because his car was gone, more time to be by myself I thought. I turned back to my room, it was so dark that it looked like nobody lived in here, it was too clean that it was almost scary, how the heck was I going to fit a baby in here?

I walked back to my bed and thought I would make it, something I never do,

then I felt a pain in my stomach.

"Crap! That hurt." I placed my hand where it hurt, then the pain got worse it was all over my stomach, it was getting hard to breath. I fell to the floor screaming in pain.

"AHH!" It felt like someone was punching me in the stomach over and over again with an iron bat, I moaned why is this happening? I have to call Emily! I thought and with what strength I could manage I slowly crawled to the bedside table and grabbed my cell phone, knocking a few things off the table as I did, it hurt so bad.

Then I dialed Emily's Number, the pain was so bad I can't even explain,

it felt worse then James breaking my leg or throwing me, I didn't know what

was wrong was there something going on with my baby? She picked the phone up on the third ring.

"Hello Bella."

"Emily." I panted,

"Bella what's wrong!?" she asked alert.

"You need to get here fast please." I said begging.

"Okay Bella I'm on my way just stay there."

Like I was planning on going any where I thought as she hung up.

"Ugh!" I felt another pain in my stomach. "Ugh Edward I need you." I screamed. If

only he was here with me, but I had to face the pain alone, the pain was so bad, my

vision blur and my head was bounding and I couldn't breath right, what was happening to

me?

**Alice. POV **

I was in the process of rearranging flowers for Esme because I thought her

room could use a little bit more color , then I got a vision.

"No." I shrieked and fell to the ground. "No that can't be right." I mumbled "I

have to cheek again." but I couldn't, I couldn't see anything.

"Alice what's wrong." Jasper had his arms around me as he lifted me off the ground he could feel the pain I was feeling.

"Alice what did you see?" he demanded, I couldn't speak, it hurt too

much, but I had to tell him.

"Bella." Was all I could say through my dry sobbing.

"What's wrong with Bella, Alice?"

What could I say? It was too painful, my poor best friend, my sister, it was going to kill my Edward.

"Alice please tell me I can't stand you're pain," he begged.

I didn't want Jasper to feel my pain because I knew it was bad so I had to

let it out and see if it would help. "Jasper I think Bella…" I tried

to say while dry sobbing.

"What about Bella?"

"Jasper I think Bella's dead."

"What?" he yelled.

"I saw Bella laying on the floor, in pain, and then…then." I couldn't say it.

"And then what Alice?" Jasper questioned.

"I lost her I couldn't see her any more Jasper I tried to double check but I lost her Jasper she's gone. Bella's Gone!"

He held me even tighter, "Oh God."

I sobbed harder. "She was like my best friend, sister even."

"I know." was all he could reply, and then I thought of the

pain this would cause Edward.

"Jasper we have to keep this from Edward no matter what! He can't find

out okay do I make myself clear Jasper? We have to keep our thoughts away from

B-bella okay?" I stuttered on her name my poor sister I could have helped her if I knew and

even if I went down there as fast as I could right when I got the vision, I would have been

too late, my best friend my sister, was gone.

**BELLA . POV **

"Bella…..Bella……" I was starting to wake up at the sound of Emily

voice. I felt hot almost like someone put me on a fire.

"Bells wake up please." I heard a husky voice say.

I knew who it was, it was Jacob. My eyes felt super heavy but I knew I had

to open them.

"Oh thank god." Emily said. "Bella are you okay?"

"Emily, my stomach hurts really bad, and I'm hot."

"Oh." I heard Jacob say. He lifted me off his lap and laid me on the bed,

"Okay Bella am going to check you out and see if there's any thing wrong." Emily said. I heard Jacob sigh.

"Since when have you become a doctor Emily?"

"Shut up Jacob, and no I'm not a doctor, but I am a woman and what

choice do we have? We can't take her to real doctor what would we say? 'Oh here this girl

is having a half vampire baby and I think something's wrong?'" Ugh would they stop talking

and make this pain go away? Please just make it go away.

"You have a point." Jacob muttered. "Do I have to leave?"

"No, just move to the side" Emily commanded. I watched

Jacob move and Emily came forward, she lifted my shirt and gasped, Jacob started to shake.

"What?" I asked confused, Emily rubbed her hand against my stomach and I

winced, it felt sore. "Emily what's wrong? Jake calm down please!"

Emily didn't respond and Jake continued to shake.

"Emily." I demanded

"Bella I know why you were in pain." Emily said in almost a whisper.

"Why?" I asked. I was scared now and it was making me mad how they weren't

telling me anything.

"Bella its strong." Emily whispered.

"What do you mean it's strong?" I asked what the heck are they saying.

"Bella" this time it was Jacob who said something.

"What?" I asked, I was near hysterics as I turned my head to look

at him.

"Come look in the mirror."

I did what he said. I slid off the bed and waked over to the mirror lifting my shirt, I gasped.

"No." was all I could say, my stomach was covered in

bruises. They were big and splotchy. "How could this happen?" I screeched. Emily just

stared at the bruises.

Jacob answered me. "I'll tell you, this stupid bloodsucker is hurting you." he snarled.

"MY CHILD IS NOT A BLOODSUCKER!" he looked shocked that I yelled at him.

"Bella look at yourself. That's what gave you those big bruises." Jacob said softly.

"Wait." Emily said for the first time.

"WHAT?" Jacob and I said at the same time.

"Look, doesn't Bella look bigger than two days ago?"

Jacob eyed me looking up and down at my bare stomach, I felt my cheeks heat

up.

"She does." Jacob said and I turned back to the mirror, I did. I looked huge!

"That explains it, the baby was stretching or growing and it didn't have room to move so

it caused Bella to have pain and bruises from where it kicked to try to move" I listened as Emily tried to explain, but I kept thinking. Then if he's growing this fast then he wasn't going to

stay inside me for nine months.

"Bella?" I didn't even realize that Emily was

shaking me. "Bella?" she said again, I turned to look at her.

"Does that mean he isn't going to stay in me for nine months?" I asked as I stared around the room. Jacob was standing by the window looking a little worried, and Emily just kept staring at me.

"I'm not sure Bella! I've never had to deal with anything like this but at the rate of your growing I give it five months."

Five months? What was I going to say to my father when he ask how its possible

to have a full grown baby that is four months early? "Emily what are we going to

do?" I asked panicked.

"Im not sure Bella let's just see what happens and we'll think of

something but you have nothing to worry about okay?" she said while rubbing my back trying to

comfort me.

"Okay." I mumbled back, oh how was I going to do this?

**Two weeks later.**

I sat up in bed and stretched my arms while wondering what the sex of my baby was going to be, but I knew I would have to wait till its born, because my belly is hard and cold and I

don't think a doctor was going to think that's normal, and am not sure if a doctor could use an

ultrasound on me, but I don't think I will have to wait long. I was getting big fast, it's been only two week's since I first felt my baby really growing, and so far every week since then, I feel pain and my stomach starts to bruise.

I was brought back to reality by the sound of Charlie's car pull out of the

drive way. Dang what time is it? I turned and looked at the clock it said 6:00. I

debated whether or not to go back to sleep, but I decided to stay up. I got out of bed took a

shower brushed my teeth and combed my hair, when I was done with that, I went and got all my dirty clothes, sticking them in the washer, and then ran downstairs to find

something to eat.

I settled with a bowl of cereal, then I washed my bowl and laid it to dry. I

was in a hurry to get down to La Push because today Emily and I where going to work on the

baby box.

Every time I worked on it I felt a little closer to Edward, knowing that if he were ever to find it he would know that I gave him a child. Over the last few weeks, Emily had been taking nonstop photos of my growing belly. As I pulled into Emily's drive way I saw Jake waiting for me, and Emily had a warm smile while Jacob was grinning like a goof, and I knew with the help of my friends I could do any thing, including bringing a baby into this world.

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**A/N: Hope you all liked it, Please review, and Thanks again to my wonderful Beta, 'Sisterhoodfan' **


	6. Author's Note please read!

Author's Note,

Hey Guy's I Just wanted to tell you all a very sad story, Daddy's Little Cannibal AKA Stephanie, was killed by a drunk driver, on May 8, 2009,

No I did not know her personally—but she was an amazing truly wonderful author, and she will be missed, she wrote great stories that made you laugh and cry and smile, she was a wonderful person,

I just wanted to show some respect for her! By posting this,

There's a link on my page for her profile, please give her some respect by looking at it,

_R.I.P_

_Stephanie's (Daddy's Little Cannibal)  
September 11, 1990 - May 8, 2009_


	7. TWILIGHT ROCKS

**A/N**

**TWILIGHT WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Yeah great job all you guy's voted for Twilight on the MTV movie awards, they won 6 out of 7! That's amazing! **

**Who else started jumping up and down on there couch when they announced Twilight won best movie? I know I did! I also screamed!!!! **

**And how about the New Moon trailer? Look's so good, Can't wait**

**TWILIGHT ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**


	8. Scared

**5. Scared**

The next day,I was riding in my truck on my way to Emily's, because she wanted us to spend the day together, planning things for the baby's room—and to be honest I was excited.

I rolled down my window and let the cool breeze hit my face, and blow my hair around, it felt good. I would close my eyes if I wasn't driving, it would probably feel almost like flying, as if I was being piggybacked threw the forest and...

Stop right there Bella no more thinking like that, I demanded myself.

Good thing I was almost to Emily's house, I needed to get a better hold of myself. I wasn't going to ruin my day and every one else's by moping. I learned that moping helps no one, today I was going to be happy! Spending my time with my friends and nothing could ruin it.

That's why I was surprised to find Jacob waiting for me on the porch instead of Emily, but I just shrugged, and was glad to see my best friend. I parked and killed the engine, Jacob rushed towards me and my door swung open.

"Hey Jake" I said as I gave him a hug, he smiled but said nothing. He seemed upset, as if there was something bothering him, we walked hand in hand up the drive, when we made it half way when I decided to ask him.

"What's wrong Jake?"

He frowned which caused his forehead to crease, "Bells can I talk to you?"

"Sure Jake. You don't have to ask," I stated, he tugged my hand, and pulled me forward, he started walking towards the rock, we always sit on. I loved that rock because when you sat on it you are overlooking the whole forest.

He let go of my hand, and sat on the rock, he then patted it, signaling for me to sit next to him, so I did, he put his face in his big hands and sat there. He looked so sad I just wanted to comfort him, make him smile.

I blew out a deep breath; he looked up from his hands and gave me a weak smile.

"What's on you're mind Jake?" I tried saying in a comforting voice, I placed my hand on his shoulder; rubbing soothing circles. He then lifted my hand from his shoulder, and placed it on his face while closing his eyes. His hand was so warm.

He took a deep breath and let go of my hand, I let it fall to my lap.

"Bella theres something I have to tell you before its too late. But I'm not sure how to." he stated, I gave him a reassuring smile.

"How about from the beginning?" I laughed.

"Er...right," he stood up, and started pacing, my eyes followed him. He seemed to be stalling, but from what? He stopped and bent down and looked me straight in the eyes, I don't know why but I felt that whatever he was going to say was going to be bad.

"Bella I love you! I have always loved you," he said with a grin.

I felt my stomach twist, my mouth dropped open, but I couldn't say any thing I was too shocked, I mean I knew Jake had feeling for me, but I thought he got over me.

His face fell to a frown. "Let me explain." he said, I nodded my head.

"Bella I realize that I'm a year than you, but I don't give a dam!" he seemed to get some confidence because he started to smirk, "Bella let me make you happy, let me love you, let me be the father of your child, forget school, forget to rest of the world, forget the stupid leeches that left you. I mean I good be a hell of a better father then, Edward, and I mean we don't have to tell people the baby is Edward's, I mean they don't have to know, I will give your kid my last name! And the baby will never have to know either, and then we can later try for a baby that's mine, think about it Bella!" he demanded.

What was he saying? To take away my baby's right as a Cullen? To never let it know who it's true father? He is asking me to forget about Edward, and make him happy? To give myself to him, I don't think so. I think he could tell what my answer was because he stood up straight.

"I have to go now Jake." I mumbled, and stood up. I stepped forward, but before I could go any further, he stepped in front of me.

"Move" I said.

"But please Bella listen"

"No Jacob you listen! MOVE!" I screeched, he just ignored me.

"Please Bella let me make you smile, let me make you feel love, please let me be the person you cry for when where apart, let me be the person you fall asleep next to,"

I was getting more and more frustrated, "I'm sorry Jake but I really need to leave now!" I said in shaky voice trying to hide my tears, he let me walk right past him this time, I made it half way up the drive way, when he yelled,

"When are you going to let go Bella? He didn't love you, he left and is never coming back, you think just because you're carrying his mutant span, he'd come back to you!? Get it threw you're head Bella, I thought you where smarter than that!" I heard him chuckle, I stopped dead in my track's I felt my heart rip open.

I clutched my stomach, waiting for air, his word's where life a blade to my heart, like he said them just to watch me bleed, like he wanted to cut me open, like a fresh slap in the face.

I turned my body to stare at him, he had a huge smirk on his face like he was satisfied with the pain he inflicted on me, this wasn't the face of my best friend, this was the face of someone cold, and heartless,

"Shut the hell up Jacob! you don't know what you're talking about" I wanted to walk away, but I couldn't move my body, I hurt to much, I could feel the warm tears in my eyes but I bit my lip to hold them back.

He grabbed my arm's and tugged me to his chest, with as much force he had, I knew I would have bruises.

"Bella." he whispered, I could feel his hot breath against my face, I closed my eyes not wanting to look at him. "Bella." he said again.

I opened my eyes, his face was so close are noses almost touched.

I closed my eyes once more, and took a deep breath. "Jacob Black you have five fucking seconds to let go of me!" I said trying to keep my voice from cracking.

He let out a chuckle, oh well am glad I humor him, "What if I don't want to?" he taunted. I opened my eyes, the look on his face made me wish I had the strength to kill him. I never wish to hurt Jacob, but the look he has on his face, made me want to, it was a cross between humor, and satisfaction, and this wasn't my Jacob so I didn't care if I hurt him.

I thought Jake was my safe harbor, the one to keep together, but know he just wanted to cut me open more, and make his own scares,

I thrashed against his grasp, but he didn't budge, "Jacob let me go!" I pleaded.

"NO!" he yelled right into my face, and for the first time, I was scared of him; of what he might do to my unborn child.

"What was it Bella? That you can't seem to let go of him? That you won't even try?" he questioned, I didn't answer. "Was it the way he made love to you Bella? Well I could do it a hell of a lot better then him; I could show you a real man! Was it the way he touched you?" I could feel his warm hand touch the bare skin on my waist, and then rubbing it down my leg, I couldn't help the tears that spilled from my eyes.

"Jacob please don't touch me like that!" I begged, that seemed to make him even angrier.

"NO!" he yelled,

"Was it the way kissed you?" I gasped and my eyes went wide, because I knew what his next move would be. He let go of my wrist, and placed it under my chin.

"Jake no," I pleaded, he rolled his eyes and placed his lips to mine. I used my free and hit him, but it didn't do any help. I tried wiggling out of his hold but he held me tighter. I then moved his hand to my lower back, and the one that was under my chin was now moved to the back of my neck, trying to hold me down. I thrashed against him but it was useless, then he removed his lips from mine, and smiled, very happy with his work,

"See Bella that was probably a lot better then kissing a rock," I looked him straight in the eyes, and said,

"You will never be half the man Edward is!" and then I spit right in his face.

That did it alright.

His whole body started to shake, then with hard force he threw me against the ground. "Ahh!" I screeched as I fell trying to protect my stomach, it felt like my world was going in slow motion, he then changed into a huge wolf.

And that was when he lunged, I knew I was going to die.


	9. Monster,

**A/N. Hey Guy's sorry it took so long to update, It's summer so Everyone's out enjoying the heat, well I hope Ya'll Enjoy the chapter, and All leave you to read it, **

**Disclamer: I never have and never will own Twilight, (cry), **

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**Chapter song, Muse-Time is running out, **

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**6. Monster **

**BELLA'S POV**

I woke up with my head pounding, the last thing I remember was Jacob lunging at me. I fell back and hit my head; then the darkness came over me.

I could feel pressure on my shoulder; I was being tapped, hard.

"Bella? Bella can you hear me? Sam she's not responding!" I heard a familiar voice say in a panic.

"Hold on let me try! Bella….Bella please wake up!" the other person begged.

I was quickly brought back by the sound of Emily and Sam's voice. I slowly started to open my eyes. At first my vision was blurry, but then I blinked a few times and it started to clear.

Sam and Emily hovering over me, I was laying on there small couch. I guess that explains why I am so uncomfortable.

"Oh." Emily said with a sigh of relief.

I tried to lift myself but I couldn't, Emily saw what I was trying to do and helped me up. When I sat up the room started to spin and my head started to throb even worse.

"Are you ok?" she asked. I nodded and looked up at Sam who was eyeing me carefully.

"Where's Jacob?" I asked.

He growled at the sound of Jake's name.

"Don't worry Bella, he's not here I took care of him," he said.

I clutched my head, and moaned.

"Oh I'll get you something for that!" Emily said, and then walked out from the room.

I looked at Sam again, "What happened?" I questioned, while rubbing my head.

He let out a sigh, he sat down next to me and started to talk.

"Well…Emily and I went for a walk right before you came. Jacob said he wanted to speak with you for a while, we agreed. A half hour later, we decided to come home because Emily really wanted to see you, a few minutes later, we heard you scream."

I shuddered at the memory.

"So Emily and I started to run. When we got closer, I saw you crying, Jacob threw you to the ground, and then he phased. I did the same and I chased him. Emily took care of you, while I took care of Jacob. When he threw you against the ground you hit your head pretty hard."

I wrapped my arms around myself as he finished his story. I couldn't speak as I remembered all the horrible things Jake said and did to me, the way he touched me, and kissed me. I shuddered.

"Are you alright?" Sam asked, I nodded and then scooted closer and hugged him. "Thank you so much Sam, who knows what would have happed to me or my baby if you didn't come?" I said while placing a hand on my stomach.

He laughed.

"Remember what I told you when you came and told all of us that you were expecting? I said I would take care of you, didn't I?" he stated.

"You did." I replied a smile formed on my face.

"I'm keeping that promise," he was smiling as well.

Sam was truly the big brother I never had, the one I always wanted.

A second later Emily walked in carrying a bottle of Advil in her small hand.

"Here Bella take this, it will help." she mumbled.

I held out my hand and she poured two blue tablets in it, I popped them in my mouth. She passed me a glass of water, I could feel the bulge of the medicine go down my throat. I sighed.

Emily then moved and sat on Sam's lap and he kissed her cheek. The sight of it made me clutch my stomach. They had so much love for each other, and nothing could tear them apart. That hurt, knowing I didn't have that and I didn't have Jacob to ease the pain, like he always did, and after what happened today, I could care less if I saw Jacob Black again.

**LATER THAT DAY**

After a few hours of hanging out with Emily, Sam and some of the pack, I decided to head home; I had quite a day.

Emily demanded Sam drive me home, because I was in no state to drive myself. I declined, but Emily was actually scary when she didn't get her way. So I decided to say yes.

The car ride was silent, but not an awkward silent a peaceful one.

When we finally pulled into the drive way, I pushed open my door, and stepped out. Sam did the same. I walked over the where he was standing and faced him.

"Thanks Sam. For everything." I said, then sighed while rubbing my growing belly.

"No prob Bella, it was nothing," he replied with a smile.

I laughed, "Ok....Well I'll see you later," I said.

"Oh I'm not leaving!" he said with a smirk.

I raised a brow. "What?" I asked confused. He laughed.

"Emily asked me to stay the night and patrol the grounds, just in case Jacob trys to pull a fast one." He explained.

I shuddered at the sound of Jacob's name, I never thought I would be scared of him.

"You don't have to do that, I'll be fine, go home to Emily." I argued.

"No it's fine Bella. It's just one night, no big deal." he replied casually.

I still didn't like the idea of Sam being out side at night while Jacob was out there probably really pissed off, and who knows what he would do.

"But Sa—" I started, but he cut me off.

"No Bella I'm staying just this one night okay?"

I nodded, he sounded a little angry.

I walked over to the porch, "Okay but do you want anything before I go inside?" I asked.

"No I'm fine, thanks." I nodded. He ran toward the woods, and disappeared.

I unlocked the door and marched straight into the kitchen, I laid my keys on the small table and poured my self a glass of water.

"Ugh." I sighed, as I sat down, my feet were killing me, carrying a child really took a lot out of you, how the heck did my mom do it?

Boredom go the best of me, so decided to start dinner, so it would be ready for Charlie when he got home. I pulled out the makings for tacos. I started browning the meat in the frying pan when Charlie walked in.

"Bells is that you?" he asked.

I rolled my eyes, I hated when he did that, who else would it be?

"No dad some stranger decided to break in and make dinner," I laughed, and heard him chuckle.

"Don't be such a smart ass!" he replied, I laughed again.

I was in the process of cutting lattice when Charlie walked into the kitchen setting his keys down where mine were.

"So how was you're day Bells?"

"Fine," was all I replied, not wanting to go into details.

"I saw Jacob today, he looked mad!"

When he said he saw Jacob I buzzed out and the next thing I felt was a sharp stab.

"Ow, shit!" I yelled.

I lifted my finger and saw the blood drip from it, the smell made my head spin. _Get a hold of yourself Bella don't be a wimp_. I kept chanting, Charlie rushed over and took a look at my finger, then walked over to the kitchen drawer and pulled out a band aid.

"Here this should help, doesn't look like it need's stitches." he said. I looked at the tan band aid, he wrapped around my finger.

"Thanks." I mumbled I felt my cheeks heat up.

"Be more careful," he replied. I nodded.

He never brought up Jacob again as we ate, we sat silently eating. When he was done he placed his dishes in the sink and walked over to the living room, plopping himself down on the couch to watch TV. I finished my dinner, and quickly cleaned the kitchen, when I was done I shut the light switch off and then walked over to the couch.

I leaned down and pecked my father on the cheek.

"Night dad," he smiled.

"Night honey."

I ran upstairs and grabbed my bag of bathroom stuff. I walked to the bathroom to take a shower, I striped from my clothes and pulled out my pony tail, as I pulled off my shirt I saw two big bruises in the shape of Jacob's hands.

"Ugh damn Jacob!" I moaned.

That's just great more bruises to go with the ones on my stomach, why do these things happen to me? How was I going to explain these to my father, I mean the ones on my stomach I could hide, but the one's on my arms? That was going to be tricky.

I stepped into the hot shower, and let it run on my back; it helped untangle the knots I might have had.

When the hot water ran cold, I sighed and shut it off. I stepped out and grabbed my towel, wrapping it around my body, and closed the shower curtain. I made my way towards my bedroom,

I opened the door, and felt a cold breeze hit me. I shuddered. I looked and saw the window was wide open.

"Now I swear I had this shut!" I mumbled to myself.

I dashed to the other side of the room and swiftly slammed the window shut, and just as I pulled away from the window something out of the darkness reached out and grabbed me.

I tried to scream but the monster pulled its hand over my mouth. I was so panicked I thrashed against its grip but it was too strong, and wouldn't budge. The monster kept trying to shush me, but I kept trying to scream, I knew if Sam could hear me, he would save me, but just my luck—no one could, the monster then placed it's hand around my waist.

I could feel the tears pour out, I was so scared. The monster pressed its hand tighter around my mouth, for fear I would scream, and he would lose.

I tried to scream with all the force I had in me, but all you could hear was a mush

"Mmm."

I thrashed against the person's grip but he pushed me towards the bed.

"Mmm." I screamed again, no use, god don't let this be happing to me, I begged.

The only thing I noticed about the monster was its hand was really hot, almost burning my face hot, and then my whole body froze, I suddenly knew who this monster was.

Jacob.

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**Wahahahaha, two cliffy's in two chapters, am good, I hope you all enjoyed it enough to leave a kind Review, Please and Thank you, **

**And Special Shout out to _Twilight1Alice_-For Always leaving me kind Reviews that make me smile, and she's an Alice fan, and as we all know Alice is Amazing, lol, but thank's for always taking the time to read my story,**

**And special thanks to Sisterhoodfan, for being a great Beta,**

Please if you can, take the time to cheek out my new story 'Happily Maybe After'

Summery, Bella and Edward are two separate people, But what happens when one night there paths meet? And they start a journy neither of them want to be on? But what happens when along the way they fall in love? And life changes.... ALL HUMAN, PLEASE GIVE IT A TRY.


	10. Alone

***A/N. PLEASE READ!***

**,**Hey guy's, Sorry it took me forever to update, my Cuzins were here and we went to a Paramore/Nodoubt show, and they where here for a week, sorry, and this chapter has some really really bad grammar, only because my Beta is already busy working on the chapter for my other story, and i didn't want to bother her with this one, I did the best i could so bare with me, and the reason am putting this chapter up is because am going away on Vacation, and i wanted to leave you guys with a chapter, so sorry again about the bad grammar, and Thanks again, I got SO many Story alerts and Fav Authors and story's, you guys are amazing,

**Also, Guess what? My birthday is tomorrow, YAY!, Anyway, for my birthday, Please Leave tons of reviews, thanks, **

**Disclaimer, Unfort, I do not own Twilight nor the character's, besides Maggie, **

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**Song for this chapter-Chase Coy - Together with the Sun down**

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Here you guys, the first chapter in Forgiving pain, In our Edwards pov, YAY,

**And am sorry I know there are A TON of mistakes, the next chapter will be written WAY better, Promise, **

7. Alone

**Edwards POV, this is all happing while Bella's in here room with the MONSTER **

I was sitting in my room, In this new god for saken house, that Alice had insisted on buying, in Alaska, she forced me to stay here, if it was up to me, I would still be hiding in a cave grieving, grieving for my lost love, but my family needed me, and I might as well give them what's left of me,

Even though nothing mattered to me, why should it?

The only thing that did matter to me, I no longer had, so why was I still living, when I had nothing more to live for? Because, because out there my Bella still was living, I needed to live till she takes her last breath, and once she let's her last breath out, I will follow her,

It will be my last breath as well,

Since the day I left my Angel, I wasn't the same, I knew I never had a heart, but for the first time in 100 years, it's truly felt gone,

My Family could even tell I was different, I mean that's all they ever thought for me was pity, and sorrow,

But even though I was the one who loved Bella the most, my whole family changed, Carlisle doesn't read anymore, and when Esme thinks no one can see her, she sobs, Emmet just mopes around, and Alice I swear she hasn't lifted a fashion magazine in months, I think Alice loved Bella almost as much as I do, but what's weird, Is even Rosalie act's weird, and all Jasper thinks about is guilt,

And they wonder why I never want to leave my room, I rather sit here, then have to face them, because to Carlisle and Esme, I made them leave there daughter, and to the rest I made them leave a sister,

But also, how could I go out? When my family expected me to be happy, to smile, to give a damn, I couldn't face my family, not when I was broken, not when all I ever felt was pain, sorrow, anger, Jasper could hardly stand to live under the same roof as me, let alone room,

"Ughhhhhhhh" I let a silent moan out, as I ran my fingers threw my hair,

How in the hell was I going to find the strength to stay away from her forever? This pain was slowly devouring me, picking me piece by piece by fucking piece, it's going to pick until am an empty shell of nothing, and trust me that wasn't going to take long,

Every fucking day am going to have to live with the fact I lied strait to her face! How she honestly believed I no longer loved her, after how many time's I told her, the images of her in the forest, the very last time I saw her, those images will haunt me forever,

God I miss her, I miss every thing about her, the feeling of her warm body in my arms sleeping, her hair in my face, the way her lips moved with mine, her voice, her smile, the big deep brown pool's that stared at me, the way her body fit against mine, laying next to each other the night she gave herself fully to me, it was like she was created for me, and no one else, the sound of her voice when she called my name in her sleep,

"Ahhhhh" I grunted, the pain drowning me,

But if this was the pain I had to indorse to keep her safe, then I'd take it, as long as she's safe and happy,

The—"Edward?"

I heard a soft knock on my door, I turned to look at it, it slowly creped open and reveled a very pain stricken Pixie,

God can't they leave me alone?

What did she want now? she barley ever talks to me, and when she try's to, she guard's her thoughts almost as if she doesn't want me to see something, I think she's just mad at me for making her leave Bella,

"What is it Alice?" I hissed,

She flinched,

"Can I come in?" she whispered, never fully looking me in the eyes,

Well did it matter what I said? Since she was already half way across the room,

I didn't respond,

She then glided to the gray leather chair across from me,

She looked pretty upset; she had a crease in her forehead that looked like it was permalley carved into her smooth skin,

"What do you want Alice? Get it over with!?" I demanded, each word dripped with venom, while pinching the bridge of my nose,

She flinched one again, I didn't like being mean to my sister, but I really didn't want her pity either,

"Ed….Edward" she asked in a choked voice, I didn't know vampire's like us got choked up,

She took a deep breath, trying to claim herself; she pressed her fingers against her temple,

"Edward am going hunting with Maggie, do you want to come?" she asked,

That was it, that was fucking it, she wanted to know if I wanted to hunt, and with Maggie, ugh,

Maggie was are neighbor who just so happened to be a vampire as well, like we would have never figured it out, when in brood daylight she would go out in the sunlight and she would firkin glitter, way to keep a secret,

Anyway, she was changed almost one hundred and twenty years ago, at the age of thirteen, it was quite sad she was changed so young, barley equitable with life,

She's very thin and tall, she has stormy grey hair and side bangs that are blondish bronze like mine, she also had the power to control Fire, it was quite amazing,

She kinda annoyed me, but every one in the house enjoyed her company, everyone besides me,

She is like a mini Alice, when she came over all she did was dance around the house, and talk to everyone, and insisted on trying to get me to open up on my feelings she had the nerve to ask me, why I was such and asshole, I did not like this little girl,

And Alice had the nerve to ask me if I wanted to go hunting with them, I think not,

"NO!" I shouted, Alice didn't; move,

"Fine but Edward?" she asked again, I let out a sigh,

"What!" I screeched,

"The real reason I came here was to tell you something," she replied, while putting her hands on her lap,

I tried to read her thoughts be she resisted by residing the Spanish alphabet,

I nodded yes, for her to continue, the sooner she spoke the faster she leaves,

"It's about Bella, Edward" she replied coyly,

I winced at the sound of Bella's name,

"Something I should have told you before," she added,

I stood up from my chair, towering over her, my fist clenched,

"I don't want to hear it" I yelled,

"But Edward! I hav—"I cut her off,

"NO!"I roared,

She pouted, and the look on her face, made me not want to hear it even more,

"Dam it Edward" she screamed and stood up, glaring at me, on a normal day that glare would frighten me, but today……today it pissed me off,

. "Fine but one day if you find out, don't say I didn't try to tell you," she shouted, while storming out of the room cussing under her breath,

I watched as she slammed the door shut, and heard her march down the stairs,

I sighed and walked towards the window, and watched the little droplets of rain paddle down the glass,

I really didn't care what she had to say, because am sure it was another speech on why we should go back to fork's, but she needed to accept that we can't!

I promised Bella! I told her that I would stay away, that it would be as if I never existed, that I wouldn't hurt her anymore, and damn it I was going to keep it,

I knew Alice loved Bella, because I could read her mind, but even if I couldn't am not stupid! Every body could tell Alice loved her, Alice thought of Bella as her sister her best friend, they understood each other, but if she loved Bella like she said she did? Then she would stay away, give Bella peace,

I mean you think she would have learned, I didn't give in when I found Esme in her garden dry sobbing for Bella, because she was like her daughter,

Or when Emmet would randomly stop what he was doing, and sigh and he would think about Bella,

Or even when Carlisle sat in his chair and he would think we all thought he was reading but he would think about Bella, Rosalie even thought about Bella, if I didn't give in for them what made her think I would give in for her?

I looked at the clock and saw it was 10:00 at night, Bella was probably asleep, she has school tomorrow, I smiled at the thought of Bella laying in her bed sleeping, she got to be normal, she got to be a eighteen year old girl, she got to go to school, and hang out with her normal friend, and talk without worrying about someone attacking her, about someone craving her blood, she was finally safe,

I gently placed my hand on the glass window, tracing rain drops,

And one day. Year's from now, she would thank me for leavening her, because one day she will become someone's wife, and mother, she would get a chance to get dressed up in a white gown, and walk down with her father by her side, to the man she loved,

I tried not to but I couldn't help but picture her, smiling in a long white gown, with a veil and flowers in her hands, she looked breathtaking ,

Then she would give herself to her husband, the thought killed me, but she deserved to be happy, with whoever she wanted to be with,

she deserved to have little babies, as much as she wanted, little babies that looked like her, I couldn't help but think of Bella pregnant with a child, she would be beautiful, round belly and glowing, happy, but if that child could be mine—No I could never give Bella that, it was impossible, that dream died in '1917' the second the venom touch my blood, so there was no point in thinking about it,

But she deserved to have babies and then grandbabies, she deserved to live a long happy life, to get old, and then move on to a greater place, a place that I would never be welcomed in, and damnit she should be able to go to that place, not stay eighteen forever,

I hate Bella for wanting to be immortal for me, I hate her for letting me know she wanted it, because from the moment I meet Bella, I wanted her to be immortal, but I wasn't going to let her soul die, and have Bella s frozen forever in time,

she should be able to go to that place, not stay 18 forever and watch all the world die around her knowing she would never change she didn't deserve to thirst for human blood, no never!

but this I know that once Bella left this world I would leave it as well, because there was no way in hell I was going to live in a world were Bella swan was no longer in,

But no matter how bad it was to think, I wished her happiness, that she would find someone to give her what she needs, and no matter who she falls for, even if it is Mike fucking Newton, I would still be and forever hers, and nothing could change that,

Not even death, and maybe one day years from now, I will go without her knowing, go and check on her, to see if she was happy,

But until then, I have to face the pain of leavening her brings me, I have to deal with it, **alone**!

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**REVIEW? Thanks for reading, **

**and Once again Really really sorry about the mistakes, **

**Please if you haven't cheeked out my Other fanfic, Please cheek it out, thanks,**


	11. How to say sorry

**A/N Hey Guys I decided to post a chapter because all of you were sweet enough to ask me for one threw emails, thank you so much for wanting to read my story.I just want to say am sorry about the bad grammar i know i promised better grammar really am working on it i tried my hardest on in so bare with me. and sorry it took forever to update just been really busy with school, well I'll shut up and let you read.**

**Disclaimer-Sorry don't own twilight unfort they all belong to the wonderful SM, **

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Enjoy,

**Chapter two: How to say sorry.**

When I realized it was Jacob who had snuck into my room I was frightened beyond belief I was so scared I was at the point were my body was shaking.

I could care less about what he did with my life but the life of my child was all that mattered.

I ran threw different ways to defend myself in my mind, when nothing came up on how to hurt a werewolf I did the only thing I could I screamed.

I screamed and thrashed my legs and tried to wiggle out of his grip. I could hear his breathing go faster as he tried to calm me down,

"Hey Bell's its ok am not going to hurt you!" he explained trying to get me to settle down.

I didn't believe him,

I thrashed my body against him once more and kicked my legs up he tightened again, I wrapped my hands around my belly and kicked him right between the legs,

He grunted and dropped me; I fell to the ground,

I adjusted my towel and crawled to the other side of the room, once I made it I stood up with my back against the wall trying to calm my breathing.

"Bella will you calm down!" he demanded, in a stern voice.

I didn't dare speak hoping maybe he couldn't see me in the dark,

He sighed "you know I have dog like eyes so I can see you." He stated answering my thoughts; I could tell there was a smile of relief on his stupid face.

I rolled my eye's still not talking and my hands still clutching my belly.

He started walking towards me.

My heart pounded faster and my eyes widened and I clenched my hands into fists.

He spread his arms out as to grabbed me,

"Jacob Black if you don't leave I will call Sam to kill you!" I said speaking for the first time while trying to eye something in my room I could hit him with.

He stepped back he was now on the other side of the room.

"How the hell did you get past Sam?" I asked in wonder while trying to pull my wet hair out of my face so he could see how mad I was.

He smiled a wicked grin.

"I can be sneaky when I want to be." He replied, and then he moved closer again.

I jolted back like I had been shocked almost hitting my head against the wall.

"I swear Jacob don't touch me or I will scream!" I demanded

He didn't reply he just moved closer watching every step he took

I would have kicked but I was in nothing but a towel.

He then was close enough to where I could feel the heat of his body and before I could scream he pulled me into a bone crushing hug.

"Am so sorry Bell's truly I am, I was so stupid I should've never done that," he rambled,

"Jake, slowly suffocating here, can't really breathe, GET OFF" I begged, he let go and backed away,

I fixed my towel and stood up he sniffed and wiped his eye's,

"Jake are you crying?" I asked while I tried to get my breathing straight.

"Maybe" he replied while rubbing his eye's I felt bad, NO BELLA I mentally slapped myself.

He walked towards me,

"Bella am so beyond sorry I knew you didn't feel the same. I should have kept my feelings to myself and waited till you where ready to love someone, but it's no excuse for what I did, I could have hurt you. I was mad at myself for not being enough for you. Please forgive me?" he begged

I was in such a total shock I sat on the bed and stared blankly into the dark corner of my room.

When I didn't answer he coughed and straightened himself up.

I didn't know what to say I knew I was mad at him but yet my heart was breaking at the fact Jacob was hurting.

"You're still mad I shouldn't have come but I just needed to say that" he turned and walked to the open window.

He stuck one leg out and I watched him preparing to jump into the night.

"Jake" I mumbled finally looking up from the wall.

"Yes Bell's?" He replied while looking at the ground below him, clearly not wanting to make eye contact.

I had to say this without crying I thought to myself,

"It's not that your not good enough for me no Jake never you're to good for me! You need a girl who can give themselves to you in every way you don't want me Jake am broken and worthless, nothing special." I cried, placing my head in my hands not wanting him to see the trader tears.

He frowned and jumped back into my room and in a second he had me in a hug.

"No that's not true Bella you're more special then you know and you might be broken now but you wont always be like this and you where never worthless and whoever thought that they can go to hell," he growled I snuggled closer to Jake's chest.

Not caring if I was supposed to be mad at him just wanting someone to hold me.

He pulled away and pulled back some hair from my face, and smiled at me.

"So does that mean am forgiven?" he asked,

"Of course, you're my best friend Jacob." I replied with a laugh.

"Thank you Bella" he sang,

He hugged me once more.

"Jake…..can't……..breath" "Oh sorry" he laughed and put me down, "now Jacob can I asked something?" "Anything" he said in a dazed tone.

"Get the hell out of my room" his grin turned into a frown "why?" I started to giggle.

"Because if you didn't notice before you grabbed me, I just got out of the shower and am still in a towel!" his face turned bright red, good I wasn't the only one,

"Oh shit sorry! Well see you later Bell's!" he said as he walked back to the window.

"Bye Jake" I whispered, He then jumped out of the window, I walked over to the

Window and watched him disappear into the night, and then shut it closed leaving it unlocked like I always did.

I quickly dressed for bed, and slid into my nice cool sheets,

It was hard to fall asleep so I sat there staring into the dark and thought about every thing.

About the baby, Edward, and Jacob.

Maybe if I wasn't broken maybe a few years from now once the pain has dulled down I could make Jacob happy, when my heart wasn't guarded anymore, but not now, not when my heart belongs to someone else, I don't think I could ever make someone happy.

And if I ever did I wouldn't be giving them my heart just me, my heart would be off somewhere searching for it's owner, so maybe I would just have to live alone forever, but I wouldn't really be alone as long as I had my child I would be fine,

As I thought this I felt a soft pat on my belly, I smiled

"Yes I love you so very much Baby" I said out loud hoping some how the baby could hear me it was a silly thought yes but I didn't care, the only thing in the world that would ever matter to me would be this child and nothing more.

After a while of thinking somewhere along my eyelids started to droop and they closed for the day.

That night a had the best dream ever, I was rocking back in forth cooing to a small little bundle in my arms, and then the most beautiful man walked out and wrapped his arms around me and the child, he kissed my cheek and smiled, "I love you Edward" I said, he smiled,

I know that I must have been smiling in my sleep,

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A/N once again terribly sorry about the bad grammar, Hoped you like the chapter, and don't be to hard on Bella for forgiving Jacob he's needed later on. oh and like the poll on my page. should i let Edward see Bella pregnant? Answer in review,


	12. What the hell he's what?

**Title: **Forgiving Pain.

**Author: twilight lover **731

**Rating: **T

**Genre: **Romance/Drama

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. Its all SM's. am just a twilight lover who didn't want to see the story end!

**Author's note: Hey you guys thought I'd give you a chapter to start off you're weekend, hope you enjoy.**

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I miss him a little, I guess you could say, a little too much, a little too often, and a little more each day -Quote for chapter.

Bella's POV

After hours and hours I pure thinking and beating myself up I finally came to terms of telling Charlie about the Cullen's, and about my child. Yes it was a risky decision and yes I could get sent to the mental word but I had to try, how could I explain for my belly growing so fast? He had to be told the truth no more lies!

But how do I do it? I can't just walk up and be like'hey dad oh I forgot to mention I was dating an immortal creature and got pregnant with it'. I had to laugh at that.

I thought of Edward allot more then i tried. Yes it was stupid to think of him if it only caused me pain but if not thinking of him i would forget and i never want to forget. I miss him a little, I guess you could say, a little to much a little too often, and a little more each day, and it was killing me.

"Ugh!" I groaned and plopped on my bed stuffing a white pillow in my face clearly frustrated.

I can't do this!

"I mean its not every day a girl tells her dad she was dating a vampire?" I said to myself.

But what if he doesn't believe me? What if this whole thing was a big mistake? I mean he thought I was going crazy when I went threw my whole zombie stage, what will he think now? Will he believe me? Will he call me crazy? A million thoughts ran threw my mind,

"Ugh my brain hurts!" I sighed,

I sat up and sat crisscross with my bare feet in my sheets and one hand on my belly, while staring at nothing but the inside of my eye lids, and feeling the cool breeze of wind that came rushing threw my window, I felt Goosebumps rise on my uncovered arms.

I heard the sound of the front door shut and feet rummaging down stairs, I opened my eyes and gulped, my heart pounded and sweat on the top of my head, I felt as if I would throw up any moment. I heard the TV turn on,

I slid of my bed and slowly marched to my bedroom door; I lifted my hand to the doorknob but couldn't fully find a way to turn the knob. I felt a kick in my belly, almost as if it was a push forward. I took a deep breath and turned the knob.

I took each step carefully down the stairs, I made it threw the archway to find my father sitting on the couch watching the football game. I wiped my brow and moved forward. He looked up and smiled.

"Hey Bell's!" he spoke.

I gulped, "Dad." I replied

He went back to looking at the game, I sat down next to him, and he gave me a confused look. I just nodded.

"Daddy." I whispered carefully, Afraid my voice would give my fear away, he looked at me.

"Go ahead Bella? What's wrong?" he said a little alerted." I need to talk to you!" I replied. Trying to not vomit.

He nodded and switched off the TV.

"Um……….Dad" I said while looking down at my shaking hands. "Go on Bella geese it can't be that bad" he said with a laugh

"Oh I wouldn't say that" I whispered. "Excuse me?" he asked raising a brow making him look older then he truly was.

"Dad Edward…..Well Edward and the Cullen there…..there not Normal" I finally replied, quickly looking down afraid to see his face, "I know." He replied I looked up alarmed.

"Really?" I choked out. "Yeah Edwards an ass hole no normal man would walk out on his pregnant girlfriend," he said a little to loud,

"No dad that's not it!" I scowled, "Then what Bella?" he asked clearly not getting what am trying to point out!

"Edward and the Cullen's they aren't like us," I spoke slowly looking at him with a serious face, his smile faded he looked confused,

"Not quite getting where you're going with this Bells" he replied, I sucked in a breath running my hand threw my hair, a habit I picked up from Edward.

"Dad Edward….. Edwards not human!" I blurted out, and right after it came out I wanted to take it back, My dad's face went blank and in a second he was in front of me lifting my hands and checking my eye's looking for something,

"What the hell Isabella are you on drugs? You're pregnant! What the fuck!" he screamed, I pulled my hands out of his and backed away. "NO DAD" I cried.

"Dad—"I tried to speck but was cut off, "She right Charlie!" I heard and when I turned around there was Jake standing in the door way with a smirk, how the hell did he get in? "What's going on?" Charlie asked clearly more confused then ever, "Dad—"Jacob cut me off again by walking closer.

"I'll take care of this Bells" he explained, I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms and watched all the mixed emotions on Charlie's face." Charlie the world is not as you thought it was" Jake explained,

"I don't understand what you're saying." My father replied, "Bell's what's going on?" he asked looking at me, I couldn't speak I wasn't ready for him to know yet, I wanted to go back in time before I was willing to tell my father before I knew what vampire and werewolf's and things like that were before this whole mess happened, NO I take that back if this whole mess never happened I wouldn't have meet my Edward and without him I would not be carrying this miracle,

"Bell's" I was snapped back to reality by the sound of my fathers voice. I looked at his confused face. I just starred at him not daring to speak.

"Charlie look closely" Jake stepped back and in a second as fast as lighting there was a rusty colored wolf in are living room! My eyes widened and I looked at Charlie's white face. My heart pounded a million miles and hour, "WHAT THE HELL!" I heard my father scream and then it all went black.

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"Bella...Bella?" I heard over and over. I felt my shoulders being shook over and over, I squinted my eyes pressed them shut and slowly opened them, the room was slightly blurry but I could make out were I was, I was laying my bedroom with a soft quilt blanket covering my large form and Jake was out of sight.

"Dad?" I choked out my throat was dry.

"Honey are you Ok?" he asked looked frantic. I slowly nodded trying to figure out what might have happed while I was out,

"What happened?" I questioned, he sighed and lifted me up and held me, "Am so sorry Bella, am sorry I couldn't keep you safe from fairytales, I couldn't keep you safe from that monster!" he cried out, I stiffened at the fact he called Edward a monster,

"Dad" I spoke softly while pulling out of his embrace he straightened up, "You shouldn't be sorry, am the one who's sorry, sorry for not just being normal but I couldn't help who I fall in love with." I stated while blushing. Charlie and I never had a touchy feely kind of relationship,

He hide his anger, "Well you never were one who went for the foot ball players now were you, I mean I would have settled for a band geek but this Bella….." he couldn't go on his face going white thinking of the past conversation,

"So you know now?" I asked making sure; he slowly nodded not saying a word just staring at the wall,

"I know, but this I asked Isabella I don't want details unless it's fully necessary I need to know!" he demanded I nodded, "So were on a need to know bases correct?" I asked, he replied with a yes,

I tried to smile he smiled in return, Finally I thought I felt like a ton of bricks were released off my shoulder my father knew my secret I didn't have to hide things from him, I was safe for now, but was I willing to put my father threw the danger of vampire's and werewolf's? Could I put him threw that, well no but I wasn't going to force him to tag along, but just the fact I had my father helping me was all the better, and for that I felt better………For now.

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Hope you all enjoyed please leave reveiw, and sorry for any grammer mistakes. and just posted new chapter of Happily maybe after please take a look and i might post another chapter, thanks,


	13. Bella breaks down

**Title: **Forgiving Pain.

**Author: twilight lover **731

**Rating: **T

**Warning: **maybe some depressing word's in this chapter.

**Genre: **Romance/Drama

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. Its all SM's. am just a twilight lover who didn't want to see the story end!

**Author's note: Hey People of fanfic you guys were all so great to review my last chapter so i decided to update again. hope you all enjoy yay am almost to 100 reviews let's keep it going! well now I'll let you read. **

**Chapter song- Tears of an Angel. I thought this song fit perfectly with the chapter each word and lyric just worked hope you think so too.**

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BELLAS POV.

"Bella breaks down!"

A few weeks later.

I slowly awoke from sleep with a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach; you know the kind that make you not breathe right. The same words ran threw my head over and over,

"He's not coming back Bella,!" those five words stabbed into my heart like a blade slowly scraping the little normality I had left, slowly moving the mask I had over my face for the past weeks, months, days, I felt my breathing get more unstable and I tossed and turned every way the bed would let me, to try to get my breathing to straighten, I felt like something was slowing gnawing its way into my chest ripping and pulling, words could not explain the pain in my chest, I let out a blood curdling shriek, trying to scream the pain put, I griped the pillow till my knuckles hurt,

I don't know why it just hit me, maybe a piece of me held on to hope, hope that one day he might comeback hope that he would show up at my door, but that hope vanished all the little hope I had vanished,

The same words repeated in my head over and over never stopping never letting the pain take a brake, I kicked and screamed in pain; nothing worked nothing dulled this, I loved him, I loved him more then anything in the world, he was everything I ever need, and he was gone!

"Ahhhhhhrghhhhhhhh!" I screeched surprised the neighbors didn't hear a thing and glad Charlie was gone,

He didn't love you Bella, my brain kept telling me, "SHUT UP!" I screamed trying to take big gulps of air trying to survive this pain. I gripped the sheet pulling it to my face and stuffing my face into the mattress, I couldn't do this the pain was winning I was losing not only my fight, I was losing my memory of Edward,

His smell. His face the feeling of his cold skin against mine it was all disappearing, I was going crazy I was finally snapping,

It hit my like a ton of bricks, knocking the wind out of me with the force of a thousand. Am not sure why it hit me now but it was.

My screaming stopped but the pain stayed I was trapped in my own body, I couldn't speak the pain clasped my mouth shut, As hard as it was I unclasped my hand's from the sheet's and sat up in a ball, I attempted to place my knees against my large belly and I placed my head in my hands and let my long brown hair cover my back and shoulder's,

And I sobbed.

I haven't really had a chance to cry for him… At least not for a while. So now was my chance, my chance to grieve to hate the world and everything in it for just a moment. Before I had to put up an act for my father and friends,

I must have sat there and sobbed for who knows how long because when I lifted my head I could tell it was twilight out side. Shivers sent down my spines as I remembered dancing in the arms of my love at twilight.

I hear the roar of my fathers car pull into the drive. I straightened up and stood up, I grabbed my toiletries' and slowly made my walk to the bathroom I couldn't face him. Maybe a shower would help.

I walked into the small bathroom dumped my stuff on the ground locked the door, and stripped from my clothes not daring to look in the mirror to afraid of what I might see. I turned the water on and stepped in letting my body absorbed the water letting it run down my back.

The shower seemed like a really good place to think where no one could bother you, you didn't have to act. As much as I tried to hide it from my family and friends there was no denying I was still in love and in pain about Edward.

How could I not? Everyday I wanted to have his arms around me to be able to touch his smooth cool skin to feel him next to me, to hear my lullaby; I played it softly in my head and closing my eyes. I wish I could smell his sweet scent the smell of my Edward, I wish he could know I was carrying his child to just know he was with me and be safe in his arms feel his hand touch our baby threw my stomach, to know he was just as happy as I was. But I could wish and want as much as I wanted this would never happen!

There was once a time where I didn't really believe in true love or soul mates and all the crap until I meet Edward he was truly my soul mate the love of my life, He made me believe in all the stories you would hear. I just wasn't his I didn't make him feel that way.

"Dam it!" I said and slammed my fists against the tile wall. I slammed the shower off and stepped out, I dressed in and old tee and sweats, and threw my hair in a messy bun, I cleaned up and walked back to my room not daring to talk to my father,

I shut the door and marched to my window I swung it open and turned to the closet. I grabbed the black bag that hung in it and pulled out the royal blue gown that the bag carried; my prom gown. I took the gown and piece by piece I shredded it, each rip another sob came out I did this till the thing that once was a dress was now tissue, I sat on the floor holding all the pieces and cried. This pain was killing me. What did I gain ripping up the dress my best friend gave me? Well Alice wasn't such a great friend she left with them too!

I cleaned up all the pieced threw them in the trash, and slid my lifeless body into my cool sheets. I covered my heed and listened to the sound of the wind the drops of water the sound of each car as it drove by. Trying to sleep to get away from the pain that surrounded me. When Edward said forever, he meant a few months. When I said forever, I meant every day until I died. When he said always, he only meant until he couldn't handle it anymore. When I said always, I meant until time ended. And when Edward said he loved me, he only meant I was no different from any other girl. When I said I loved him, I meant I had never felt what I felt for him. Oh how stupid was I,

I felt tears slid down my cheek and I heard the rain pour down. The sky was crying with me,

I don't know how long I was out of it. But Charlie never bugged me, he would come in and cheek when he thought I was asleep or leave a glass of water but nothing more, I kept my eyes closed the whole time and when I would open it would be light I'd close them and open again it would be dark and so on, I laid in that bed for a week. And that nagging feeling would return every night and every night I woke up screaming trying to keep myself together, and every night I would fear the pain would win and it would be my last. And sometimes I would hope I'd never wake for morning,

All the kings' horses and all the kings' men just couldn't put Bella back together again.

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Edwards POV.

"Come on Edward!" Alice hissed. "NO!" I roared she didn't budge she had me cornered to a wall. "You have to!" she demanded while rolling her small hands into fists. Like that would affect me.

"I can't Alice I just can't" I growled and slid to the ground. With my head in my hands, her face softened and she sat on the floor with me. The rest of the family out hunting we were the only two here.

"She needs you Edward!" Alice whispered while rubbing her hand threw my hair, I didn't look up. "I made her a promise…. I can never go back!" I stated, she stood up, "DAM IT EDWARD!" her little voice roared, I looked up she was mad as ever, "What a about the promise you made to love her forever?" she hissed looking me straight in the eye's my chest hurt. I stood up,

"I will love her for all my existence but I can't be with her! I can't have her in danger…. Never again!" I screamed that didn't faze her, "Edward you need to do something before it's too late before something terrible happens!" she said as she walked out of the living room.

Did Alice know something I did not? Did she see something she was keeping from me? All theses thoughts ran threw my head at a million miles per hour. Was something wrong with my Bella? It took all I had not to stand up and run out the door to the little rainy town of forks but I had to stand my ground!

I started thinking while looking at the small raindrops that hit the ground, what if I went for just a moment to see how she's doing maybe without her knowing I could still keep her safe just maybe……..

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A/N Pour Bella Edward needs to get his ass back to forks! lol. well hope you all enjoyed Bella's litte break down, and heads up I have a **BIG **surprise coming up in the next chapter so please stay tuned,

**Review?**


	14. Its a small world

**Title: **Forgiving Pain.

**Author: twilight lover **731

**Rating: **T

**Warning: **May want to throw something after this chapter. LOL

**Genre: **Romance/Drama

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. Its all SM's. am just a twilight lover who didn't want to see the story end!

**Author's note: Hey Guys Sorry took me forever to update had a little bit of writers block but am better now! Thanks so much for all the reveiws you guys are all so amazing! Enjoy.**

**Special thanks to- My New Beta whitezcar, For helping me bring my story to life! So thank you so much!**

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**Bella's POV**

"Isabella, baby?" I heard someone scream, I jumped up almost spilling my tea all over me.

"Bells, I have a surprise for you!" my father shouted.

"Be right there!" I shouted back while wiping up the spilled tea, and I waddled to the living room.

"Mom?" I screamed surely enough my mother was standing in front of the door, dorky self and all, and in a second I ran to my mother and she wrapped me up in her arms.

"Oh, baby. I missed you!" she spoke as she kissed my head.

"I missed you, too," I replied and pulled away she spun me around and took a good look at me.

"Wow, Bella, you're huge! How did you get big so fast?" she said talking to herself I faked a laugh and gave a nervous look at my father he had the same look and shrugged. My mother was the only one who didn't know my secret.

"You're one hot mommy, Bella" I blushed, my mom was the one who took the news better, I looked at her and remembered the phone call.

Flash back……..

Ring……ring………ring….. I heard as I had the phone pressed up against my ear I was calling my mother to tell her my news and I was sick to my stomach with fear.

"Hello?" the other line asked.

"Mom?" I replied.

"Bella? Oh, baby, I miss you! We haven't talked in forever. How are you doing baby?" she asked in a cheery voice I felt bad knowing I was going to ruin it.

"I miss you, too," I replied in a dull tone.

"Bella what's wrong?" she asked clearly not fooled by my voice. A lump rose in my throat.

"Mom I have to tell you something…" I choked out.

"What is it?" She asked.

I couldn't speak.

"Bella, you're scaring me now answer me!" she demanded.

"Mommy…" I cried.

"Isabella, what's wrong?" She demanded once more.

"Mom, I'm…. I'm going to have a baby!" I cried into the phone. Then phone went silent.

"What do you mean a baby, Bella? You're just turned eighteen?" she spoke in a frantic tone.

"I'm so sorry." Was all I could say.

She sighed, "Bella does Charlie know?" she asked.

"Yes" I replied, "Honey, how could you let this happen?" she asked mostly talking to herself,

"I don't know it kinda just happened," I whispered.

"Bella, is the baby Edward's?" She asked I choked back tears.

"Yeah" I spoke.

She sighed again, "I'm so sorry Bella!" she cried.

"Does he know Bella?"

I sighed. "No and I don't plan to tell him!" I replied clearly leaving out the part about how I can't tell him because he and his whole family were gone.

"That's not something you can keep from someone, Bella." she spoke in a disapproving tone.

"Are you mad?" I asked.

"About my eighteen year old daughter being a mom? I mean, do I look old enough to me a grandma? Wait, don't answer that!" I laughed. "Bella, answer me this with the full god honest truth." she asked "Can you do this, Bella? I mean, do you want to do this?" she spoke more clearly.

No, I'm not sure I can do this! I think about that every stinking day when I see my stomach get bigger, but I wasn't going to tell her that, "Yes, I can." was all I replied,

"Well, ok, Bells, if you think you can be a mom, then ok. But promise if you need any help or anything, just please make sure to call me?" she begged.

"Ok, mom, I will," I replied glad I finally told her.

"I love you, Bella, you know that, right? No matter what you do, I don't want you to be scared to tell me or think that I won't love you, ok? I will always love you, Bella, you know that, right?"

I smiled. "I know, mom, and I love you, too, and I know I can tell you anything," _except the biggest Secret in my life,_ I thought. Then she said I love you again and hung up, after that she called every day and we would sit and talk about babies and things like that, I could tell she was excited about being a grandmother, even thought she wouldn't admit it.

**End of flash back **

"Bella?" I heard my mother whisper.

"Huh? What?" I asked coming back to reality my father was in the kitchen.

"Spaced out on me there, huh?" she laughed as I nodded.

"Not that I'm unhappy, but, why are you here?" I asked confused but I might have a clue why, she looked at my father and nodded, I looked back he quickly poked his head into the fridge.

"I came to be with you, honey. For a few weeks, maybe even until you give birth!" she said as she rubbed my belly, I winced when she pressed on a bruise, but I didn't let her see, "What about Phil?" I asked.

She looked away. "Oh, he'll be fine!" she stated while waving her hand as if it was nothing,

I knew the real reason was she was here; my father told her about last week. I shuddered at the thought, I looked back at my mother's face she was smiling and I knew she felt like she was doing the right thing, but was it safe to have my mother here with me?

**Edwards POV.**

Another day without Bella had passed, and with each day anther ache rose in my hollow chest, it also didn't help that my father made me come with the family to Seattle for business, it hurt so much the fact she was only a few hours away and I couldn't be with her.

"Edward?" I stiffened when I heard Alice's voice. I loved Alice, but she was getting too much for me, she always seemed as though she were hiding something, something I should have known, but I didn't push for her to tell me, simply because I didn't care enough. She seemed troubled; looking into her eyes, they were hollow, like mine, she never smiled nor laughed, as well. This was taking a toll on Alice, as well, and don't get me wrong it hurt me to see my sister like this, but if she loved Bella like she claims, then she would be ok with it, but just like me, Alice needs her moment to grieve and I wasn't going to take that from her.

"Yes, Alice?" I said in the nicest tone I could make, she forced a smile.

"Edward, why don't you and Emmett go to town? He keeps saying he wants to see the space needle, why don't you go? Get out of this stuffy hotel room." She offered.

That's what I love the most about Alice even when she's in the most horrible place in her life she still tries to help someone else before herself. And the least I could do was listen to her, for that I owed her that much.

I faked a smile and nodded. "That's a nice idea, Alice; I'll do that." She didn't say a word, but nodded and left, I forced myself up and called for Emmett, time to put on the biggest show of my life.

**********Later that day**********

Once Emmett and I were into down town Seattle, we decided to take a walk; I wasn't up to it, but Emmett was excited to be here. I sighed, and he looked at me.

"What's on your mind, mind-reader?" he asked and then laughing at his own joke, I rolled my eyes.

"Nothing, just Bella; I don't know what it is, Em. I feel like something's wrong like I need to be there, but yet I can't be there," I replied he thought for a moment,

"Have you ever thought about just goin back?" he asked in a serious thoughtful tone, I ran my hands threw my hair frustrated. "Why can't anyone understand I can't go back I just CAN'T" I rambled upset, he nodded his head like he disapproved, "What?" I asked while giving him the evil eye. He looked back up at the sky.

"Edward, have you ever thought Bells is feeling this right now? I mean, what you're feeling at this very moment?" he asked while thinking of my Bella, he thought of her as a little baby sister.

I shuddered at the thought.

"I don't think so, Emmett!" I said without really thinking. He scowled. "What?" I asked surprised.

"Bull fuckin' shit, Edward!" he yelled, I looked around to see we where now standing in front of a famous clothing store, a few people were watching. "Emmett, quiet; people can see!" I hissed, not really caring.

"What's wrong with you? Don't you know that girl loved you! Couldn't you see it?" he yelled. I was too stunned to speak. He went on, "Were you the only one in the world who couldn't see the way Bella looked at you? She loved you just as much as you loved her! Do you honestly believe she didn't love you that she wasn't capable of loving you that much? Or did you not believe you were worth her love?" he stated staring at me with such intense eyes I was stunned once again. I never knew words like this would come out of Emmett's mouth!

He then turned his gaze across the street looking at the strange little store I had been looking at a second ago with a curious expression.

"I'm sorry, Emmett; I just can't, not now….." I spoke softly he didn't look at me he just stared at the small baby store, blocking his thoughts,

"Emmett?" I asked and nudged him.

"What? Oh, sorry! I get it, Edward." He spoke tearing his gaze from the store and walking forward. I followed. Not looking back at anything, just trying to make it through the day in one piece.

Earlier that day!

Bella's Pov.

"Bella, honey?" I heard my mom ask as we pulled the car out of the drive.

"Yeah, mom?" I ask not gazing away from the window watching the streets go by, and the small drizzle of the rain. We were on our way to pick up Emily and Angela to come to Seattle with us; my mom had insisted on taking me up there for some baby things since I wasn't allowing her to throw me a baby shower.

"Are you ok?" she asked while stopping at the red light.

"Yeah, why do you ask?" I replied while watching all the cars pull up.

"You're just quiet, is all!" she said back. I nodded not saying much after that.

We picked up Emily and Angela and it was time for the fun to begin. The whole ride to Seattle I felt my mood lightening up, I was even laughing. We all talked about baby things, and my mother told me the story of labor, I had a feeling mine would be a little different, but I still listened to all the words my mother had to say.

"Now, Bella if you had a little boy or girl what would the names be?" Was one of the questions they asked me, I couldn't really answer it because I hadn't really thought about it I was too busy caught up into my own little bubble of my pain and I felt bad for that, my baby should be my first priority and I was going to make it that!

We finally made it to the small little baby store in down town Seattle my mother had looked up, we were all excited to be there even me, I saw all the small things in the front window and I knew I'd love it in there; it was a small red brick building with large white windows in the front and in big brown letters was the title 'Birth and Beyond' it was so adorable.

We all stepped out into the cold February weather and walked into the store it was warm and felt nice against my cheeks.

"Oh, Bella, look at this!" my mother shouted excitedly while lifting a cute little green one piece, I smiled and could see a small bronze haired child sleeping in it. I nodded and she placed it on the cheek out counter, my friends and I went to the back and looked at all the cribs and changing tables I fell in love with a soft white crib, and my mother insisted on buying it for me claiming she and Phil have been saving up money to take me on a shopping trip. After a few minutes of arguing, somehow the crib ended up being boxed up and set next to the checkout counter.

I was standing at a table full of baby blankets and I was debating witch color of burping sheets to get when something caught my eye… a familiar mess of bronze hair and before thinking I threw the sheets in the air and ran outside screaming, "Edward!"

"Bella!" I heard my mother scream, but I didn't look back I ran and pushed the door open and stumbled in the cold sidewalk looking frantically around for Edward, but he was nowhere to be seen.

My mother stormed out of the store.

"Isabella?" she asked scared, my face fell to the ground, "He's not here." I stated looking at my mom, she frowned. "Come on, honey, we'll pay for this stuff and go get you something to eat!" she offered. I nodded and she placed her hands on me and lead me back inside.

I could have sworn I saw my Edward! Maybe I'm just seeing things, but what if the person I saw really was Edward? And he was only a few miles away from me? Could he be?

The rest of the day flew by fast and the stunt that happed earlier was now forgotten, and the only thing I could think of was the pain in my feet from walking to a billion baby stores in one day. I had enough stuff to start my own baby store, but I was excited to go home and set it all up; my mother and friends did great with helping my pick things out for a baby that no one knew the sex yet, I was ready for this baby to come into this world and I couldn't wait.

On the car ride home, my friends sat in the back seat humming to the song that was on and my mother talked with them; I stared out the window looking into the dark forest we passed as driving.

All I could think was that no matter how much pain his leavening brought me, at least I knew he was out there somewhere; I had to believe that in order to keep me from going crazy. I knew he wasn't a dream I summed up, because I had proof that Edward was here. I had proof of the strong love I had for him; I carried that proof every day, I had to believe he loved me once upon a time ago… That he did feel for me just a little but, like most love does, it vanished without a good bye. But loved me, yes, he did, just like I love him, but like most things do, he had to leave and I was starting to feel ok with it, as long as he was somewhere and I was here with his child, I think just maybe I could be ok, that, I can only pray for.

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Hope you guys enjoyed that enough to reveiw! And once again thanks again to my wonderful Beta whitezcar.


	15. Whats Happening?

**Title: **Forgiving Pain.

**Author: twilight lover **731

**Rating: **T

**Warning: **May have the feeling to want to hurt me but I promise it will be worth the wait,

**Genre: **Romance/Drama

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. Its all SM's. am just a twilight lover who didn't want to see the story end!

**Author's note: Ok Guys here's a juicy chapter to start off you're weekend hope you enjoy!**

**Special thanks to- My Beta whitezcar, For helping me bring my story to life! So thank you so much!**

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**Chapter song- Paramore Breath.**

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What's Happening?

I slid out of bed with a claiming feeling. It was odd; today was the first day I felt normal, so I was going to enjoy it while it lasted. I stood up and headed for the closet; I pulled out a fresh pair of jeans and a sweat shirt. I slicked my hair into a ponytail and slid into my sneakers; I was going to spend the day at Emily's.

I grabbed my keys, coat, and wallet, and headed for the door and took one quick glance at the nursery my mother and I set up last week, **(Pics on profile)** it was perfect; my rocking chair, changing table, and crib were all set up, the theme was a pale green. It was perfect, the clothes were all placed in the closet and it was ready for a baby.

I smiled, let out a sigh, and walked down stairs. I took a look at the house and set my things down; it was a total mess! I walked into the kitchen and found a note lying on the counter it read…..

_Dear Bella._

_Dad and I had to go into town to pick up a few things be back later. _

_Love, Mom_

_P.S. Don't do anything stupid! _

I rolled my eyes at the last part, crumbled up the note, and threw it away. I then walked to the dishwasher and started pulling things out, and then I loaded the dishwasher back up, took the trash out, and scrubbed the counter.

I walked over to the kitchen closet and pulled out the mop. I filled up a bucket of hot, soapy water and mopped the kitchen floor, and then I mopped the title by the front door and it finally felt clean in here.

I then moved to the living room; it had been the room most neglected since I started my zombie mood, so I tidied up the place. When I was all done with this, it was noon.

I finally grabbed my things and walked out into the cool air. I slowly walked to my truck, trying not to fall, flipped the door open and entered the cold car. I shivered and started it quickly, turning on the heater.

As I drove past the building and roads, I entered the trees and the path to La Push. I let my mind wander, finally thinking about my child and not him, I found out calling him, 'him' helped it not hurt so much.

The bruises on my stomach were slowly getting smaller and smaller; Emily thinks this means it's about time for the baby to come, and if I were telling the truth, I am frightened to death, but I was also excited…. but what scared me the most was, am I going to make it? This wasn't any normal child, this was a vampire, an immortal child; was I going to live to see it open its eyes? Would my child make it? I clutched my stomach almost with fear it would disappear at any moment.

I was scared to death about giving birth, but I wanted this child so badly. I wanted to be able to hold it, all ready to see 'him' in the face of the small child.

I turned down the winding down the road, trying to clear my thoughts.

When I finally pulled into the small house that belonged to Emily and Sam, I let out a sigh of relief. Over the past few months, this house has become my safe harbor; I felt safe here.

I pushed the door open, stepped out, reached over the seat to grab my camera, and shoved it into my pocket quickly. I pressed the car lock button, heard the click, and started walking towards the house. I walked to the door and was about the knock, when it flew open.

"Bells!" Jacob shouted and embraced me into a huge bear hug.

I laughed, "Jake, I can't breathe!" I spoke.

He laughed and set me down. "Long time, no see, Bella!" he beamed.

I smiled glad to be with my friends. I stepped into the warm house and the fresh smell of cookies hit me, I inhaled.

"I had a feeling my best friend would show up today!" Emily said, as she popped her head into the kitchen.

"Hey, Em!" I said, as I ran up and hugged her.

"Best friend, Em? I'm hurt!" Quil said, faking the look of hurt. She smiled. "But you know, a cookie could make that all go away!" he said, almost drooling.

Emily smiled and rolled her eyes as she went back to the kitchen and came out with a plate of cookies and sat them in front all the boys they all smiled and said thanks.

I said hello to the rest of the boys and met back up with Emily in the kitchen, "Sit down, Bella, I'll get you a snack." Emily offered. I nodded and slid into a stool that was next to the counter, "So, how have you been holding up, Bells?" she asked as she poured a glass of milk and set it in front of me,

"I'm doing well." I replied, as she smiled.

"I'm glad." Emily's personality reminded me of Esme; she was sweet and kind. Emily then placed a plate of cookies in front of me, and my eyes wanted them badly, but my stomach didn't. I took one whiff and turned away. "What's the matter?" Emily asked concern.

"Nothing; I'm sorry, it's just I don't think I can eat that right now. It's like the baby doesn't want it!" I said with the sound of apology in my voice, she smiled and took the plate away.

"It's ok, Bella, I understand," she said smiling.

We spent the rest of the day in the little kitchen talking until we were interrupted by Jacob, "Hey Bells," I heard I looked over to find Jacob in the doorway hiding something behind his back, Emily smiled and left the room.

"Yeah, Jake?" I said with a smile as he walked over.

"I have something for you!" he said.

"Jake, you shouldn't have gotten me anything!" I scowled.

He smiled, "I knew you would say that! That's why I didn't spend a dime!" he stated. I nodded, "Close your eyes and stick out your hands," He instructed. I did as he said, slowly lifting my hand out, and then felt something soft be placed into them. "Open!" he said, and I did.

In my hands was a soft, rusty colored, toy wolf and I could tell right away Jacob made it, because the stitching wasn't even and the eyes were not centered, but I loved it!

"It's not very good, but I made it all by myself and I know it's not that great but I thought the baby should have a stuffed toy and all but if you don't like it—" he rambled, but I cut him off.

"I love it, Jake; it's perfect!" I said while hugging him!

"Good! I poked myself so many times making that stupid thing!" we laughed.

About three things happened when I pulled away, I felt a sharp pain in my ribs, the small little wolf fell out of my hands and hit the floor, and I couldn't breathe!

"Bella!" Jacob screamed, as my body thrashed to the floor tossing and turning everywhere; my world felt as if it were going in slow motion, a never ending tunnel.

And in a second, everyone was around me and Jake was trying to lift me.

"Bella, Bella? Can you hear me?" Emily asked in a panic with the look of fear on her face, I couldn't breathe the answer back. I screamed and thrashed like a fish out of water and no one knew what to do.

What's happing? Was I dying?

Edwards POV. (While Bella on the kitchen floor.)

I was hunting in the Alaskan forest, running in the snow and passing all the trees my family was with me as well and we were feeding; I was about to pounce on my pray when I fell to the forest floor in the worst pain I've ever felt.

"Arghhh" I let out a scream clutching the ground trying to regain my breathing. I felt as if my heart had been torn out and someone was ripping me into shreds.

"Edward!" my family screamed trying to find out what was wrong; they were all around and Carlisle was checking on me while Esme stood there worried and the rest upset. Alice was holding my head as I thrashed against to floor,

Alice slowly whispered into my ear.

"Argh!!!!!!!" Jasper screamed and fell to the ground feeling me pain. Emmet quickly lifted Jasper and ran him as far away from me, I couldn't answer Alice the pain was over whelming. The only words that made it out were.

"Bella…." Alice stiffened.

Yes, something was wrong with my Bella, I could feel it. Something was wrong; Bella's pain and my pain, as though we were one person.

"Edward, what's wrong with Bella?" Alice asked as I heard Esme dry sobbing.

"Something happing to her!" I screamed, trying to regain my control but couldn't.

"She's in pain I can feel it!" I shouted she looked up trying to hold back a sob, I screamed again!

"Edward, calm down!" Rose said kneeling down beside me.

"Edward, nothing can be wrong with Bella!" Alice screamed.

I tried to look up, while my whole body was shaking, "What do you mean?" I asked through my teeth.

She gulped, while covering her thoughts. "Edward, Bella's dead!" Alice spoke.

"NOOOO!" I heard Esme scream and fall to the ground sobbing, Carlisle trying to control her. My world stopped.

"What?" I scream, trying to sit up. She replayed the dreadful vision of my Bella falling to the ground in pain and then disappearing from sight.

"No!" I mouthed and stood up carefully.

Alice stayed on the ground, "I'm sorry," she whispered.

"SHE can't be!" I screamed. "You vision's wrong!" I shouted. And before she could say anything more, I ran as fast as I could away from my crying family. I needed to get away! Bella couldn't be dead, could she? I just ran hoping the pain would run out.

And in that second, I felt my whole world change, and I knew nothing would be the same ever again.

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**A/N Please don't hurt me..... lol, Am so great to make such an awsome cliffy! please don't be to mad. lol how about a reveiw might make me want to post faster am just saying, and once again special thanks to my Beta whitezcar**


	16. A child is born

**Title: **Forgiving Pain.

**Author: twilight lover **731

**Rating: **T

**Warning: **Some extrem brith scene.

**Genre: **Romance/Drama

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. Its all SM's. am just a twilight lover who didn't want to see the story end!

**Author's note: Hey People of fanfic, are you ready? its the time we've all been waiting for the birth of a small child! yay hope ya'll are excited! here we go! **

**Chapter song- Scars - Papa Roach I thought this would be a good song for Bella, **

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Bella's POV.

As I felt my body fall to the floor, I started spitting up blood. I couldn't breathe and I slowly felt my life drift from me; I wanted to close my eyes, they hurt, they felt so heavy, but I knew if I was to close them they might not open again.

I felt another blow to my ribs I arched my back and screamed bloody murder.

"Emily, what's happening?" Jacob screamed frantically,

"I…..I.." for once, I could see the first time Emily looked like she wasn't sure what was happening; she always seemed so certain on what to do, like on telling me to keep this baby or even the color I should do the room, or on how she was so sure I'd live through the pain Edward's leaving brought! But now she wasn't sure, and that frightened me the most.

"Emily, what do we do?!?" Sam screamed, trying to get me to regain control of myself, she shook her head and came out of her shock, "I don't think the baby can breathe; we have to get him out NOW!" she screamed as she pressed her hands to my hard belly, I winced and arched my back more.

_Fight, Bella! Don't be weak; you never were weak. Fight!_

Those words replayed in my head over and over like a broken disc coming out in the voice of the one person I needed the most, the only person who should be holding my hand at this moment. I let out another scream, but not in pain from the broken ribs, in the pain my heart gave me; the pain of my heart slowly breaking.

"Bells, calm down, please!" Jacob cried.

"Sam, move Bella to our bed!" Emily shouted as she stood up, Sam quickly lifted my struggling body off the ground and ran me to the next room and laid me on the bed.

"What now, Emily?" he asked in a scared tone, my breathing quickened and I fastened my grip on to the bed rails for dear life holding them as hard as I could 'till my knuckles turned ghost white.

"Sam, get a bowl of hot boiling water!" Emily shouted as she lifted her sleeves up and ran to me sitting on the bed rubbing my head with a cold cloth; I was in hysteria now, Sam nodded and ran out of the room to fetch the items Emily asked for,

I so badly want to shut my eyes to just go to sleep, to let the beauty of sleep make this pain go away; my eyes seemed to want the same, because they slowly started to droop.

_Damn it, Bella, don't give up!_

The beautiful voice yelled, he was mad, mad that I was simply giving myself up to death, I slowly nodded, I don't know why I was hearing his voice maybe my mind thought it would help because I needed him, but I wasn't complaining,

"Jacob, get some clean towels, a pair of scissors and a sharp knife and clean them fast!" Emily yelled as she stood up and threw the blankets off the bed and threw them across the room, "Ohhh!" Emily threw her hands to her mouth. I thrashed against the bed, "Bella's bleeding badly! HURRY!" she screamed,

"Seth, watch the phone, make sure no one calls! Paul, watch outside make sure no one steps on this land! And Quill, you help me here!" Emily frantically demanded,

Sam walked in and set the bowl down on the table. "Sam, I think the baby's dying!" she whispered to him and ran over to me, I heard that and my body went into shock! Nooooo! I thought.

"GET HIM OUT NOW!!!!!!" I screamed. "PLEASE, SAVE HIM" I shouted while trying to regain my breath, Emily ran over and striped me from my jeans and shirt, when she pulled the shirt over my head I used what little force I had and grabbed her arms with my trembling hand,

"Emily," I choked she looked at me, "Please if at any time you have to…choose whose life to save, save my child's please! And pro….promise me you'll take care of him; give the baby love for me! Please," I begged and for the first time feeling the hot tears come out of my eyes,

She looked as if she was to cry she blinked back tears and opened her mouth, "I promise…." Where the only words I heard because a ringing in my ears started, and I threw my head back and screamed; the pain was so over-whelming, I felt as if I'd vomit.

Jacob ran over and placed my head on his lap, and Emily ran to the end of the bed and pushed my legs up, I let a moan of pain out and Jacob rubbed my head, I spit out more blood it burned coming up my throat, Jacob slowly tried to wipe the blood off my face.

And for the first time, I was glad Edward wasn't here I didn't ever want him to see me like this, no matter how mad I was at him for leaving me alone to fend for myself with a child, I would never wish for him to see me like this.

"We have to do it now!" Sam screamed he was at Emily's side helping her hold me legs still as my body still thrashed against the bed I felt another rib crack and the pain was so bad I couldn't open my mouth to scream I was trapped in my mind, I let a moan out and that was it.

"Ok, Bella, Push!" she screamed and with the strength I had I pushed, it hurt so bad I couldn't do it I was too weak I lost my battle I was done,

_Save our child, Bella, don't give in. Fight, don't lose our child……………..._

His voice kept telling me, and I did.

I pushed three more times until I couldn't. I just couldn't; I failed my Edward which I always knew I was weak, that's why he left me I wasn't perfect and I always knew that but to be too weak to save my own child that made me disgusted with myself, I threw my head back on Jacobs lap, and sobbed 'til I was even more into hysteria.

"I'm sorry; I can't do it I just can't it hurts too much!" I cried

"NO, BELLA, STAY WITH ME" Jacob cried,

"I can't do it, I can't" I whimpered.

"PLEASE, BELLA, STAY! DON'T LEAVE! THINK OF SOMETHING THAT HAS BEEN KEEPING YOU ALIVE!" he screamed. Trying to get me to focus,

I didn't have to think to knew what it was, "Edward" was the only thing that left my lips, then I felt something sharp touch my skin and another pain came; it was Emily she had to cut me open to get my baby out, but I didn't care I was willing to do whatever it was to make sure my baby was safe.

I let out a scream, "Bella, think of something, think of Edward, think of me!" Jacob begged trying to get my mind off the pain. I did, I thought of the face of my Edward, then my dear Jacob he stayed with me through this whole mess he really did love me and I never gave him a chance.

_Stay, Bella, stay. Don't leave yet, stay……………….._

I felt one more blow and then the most beautiful sound in this world "Wa, wa, wa," it was the sound of my child, Edward's child, our child.

My heart swelled up ten times with love; I did it I saved my child I made it, I did it Edward, I rejoiced in my mind.

"It's a boy, Bella, a baby boy!" Emily cried. Yes, I had a little Edward; I had a baby boy! My son.

She then laid a little bundle wrapped in a white towel Jacob helped me turn my head, oh, my god he was so beautiful; words could not describe. He looked like Edward; he had the same jaw line and bronze messy hair pilled on his little head. He had dark chocolate eyes he has my eyes I smiled when he yawned and opened his little eyes, he was the most beautiful child I'd ever laid eyes on, and he was mine.

_Beautiful……….._

The voice in my head whispered, and it was right this child was beautiful. We did it, Edward, I thought, and for the first time that little hole in my chest felt a tiny bit smaller,

I got to see my son my child, and my eye's felt heavier and weak so I closed them not thinking about what might happen if I did, but yet letting thoughts of my son and Edward floating through my head.

Edwards POV

I sat slowly, sobbing against a tree, trying to regain myself; this pain was to overwhelming it caused me to not breath right, the pain was so terrible words could never describe it, something was telling me my Bella was in pain that something wasn't right, but what?

This has never happened before and I couldn't explain it.

_You left me Edward……………………_

Ugh!!!!!!! I groaned and clutched my head trying to get rid of the voice; the voice that sounded like my beautiful Bella, but now this voice that used to cause me such happiness was now causing me pain and suffering slowly taunting me.

_You just left me to die………………._

I pulled my hair in frustration and let out a loud scream!!

_You weren't here to save me……………_

The voice was right; I should have been there to save her from her death….. But if she's dead how come I kept having these odd feelings? Something wasn't right,

_It's your fault, Edward I'm lying somewhere dead because of you………………._

The voice kept repeating,

"No, no, no, no!" I cried letting myself sob into hysteria, I stood up and threw my head up into the air,

"BELLA!!!!!!" I screamed into the sky watching all the birds fly out of their trees,

And then I fell back to the ground, letting my sobs be the only thing I could hear.

I needed to end this pain; I needed to find a way to end this, a way to let all this pain go………..

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Ewww cliffy don't hate me! lol, How many of you went to see New moon yesterday? I did i spent 30 mins in line to get in but it was worth it, ohh it was worth it it was so beyond amazing words could not describe how could this movie was, as soon as the credits started i wanted to watch it all over again, ohh and the shirtless scene with Edward and Jacob oh my lord i almost drownded in my own drool, amazing lol i want to see it again, lol

**Reveiw? **


	17. Ten toes and Fingers

**Title: **Forgiving Pain.

**Author: twilight lover **731

**Rating: **T

**Warning: **some specail moments here.

**Genre: **Romance/Drama

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. Its all SM's. am just a twilight lover who didn't want to see the story end!

**Author's note: Sorry took so long kinda had some writers block wasn't sure what i was going to do with our dear Bella i had some strange Ideas i rewrote this chapter like ten times it went from Bella having memory loss. so Bella going with Jacob to Jacob adopting Bellas son. so threw all those Ideas I finally got a chapter i liked lol so I hope you enjoy the chapter because the next chapter will change forgiving pain as we know it. Well happy readying.**

**Chapter song- Avril Lavigne - Innocence I thought this song went perfect for this chapter it just connects with the whole Bella and her son part is just the words were written really well its like it was made for the chapter. hope you think so too. **

**and Special thanks to my Beta whitezcar for helping me bring my charcters to life. **

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14. Ten toes and fingers

"He's Beautiful, Bella…" Edward said as he held me in his arms. I held onto our son; we were laying in our meadow, it was warm out and the sun was shining down on us. It felt perfect, like this was where we were supposed to be all along; to be forever, just us three.

"Why did it take so long for you to come back?" I asked in wonder looking at his perfect face, shining in the light. He didn't answer he frowned, and then in a second he and my child were gone, nowhere in sight,

I was alone standing in cotton white dress feeling the soft material wondering how I got this on, the breeze was slowly blowing my hair across my face, "Edward?" I asked looking around worried, he had my son. Then a bright gold light showed up almost like the sun it made me wince it was moving closer, like it was coming to get me, or coming for me.

"_Don't go yet……." _Said the beautiful voice, I felt my heart race as if I was fighting for something. I reached my hand out to touch the warm bright light coming towards me with curiosity it was so tempting... "What's going on?" I spoke in wonder, my voice echoed over and over saying the same words rushing all around me. I heard soft hums come from somewhere I looked up but saw nothing but the bright light growing wider.

"_Stay, Bella, stay…………" _said the voice that sounded like and angel, the light came closer I tried to back away, but it slowly started wrapping around me and my pulse slowed almost as if all was ending. I please one hand against my chest and felt the beats slow.

"_No, Bella………" _The voice cried, my body didn't want to listen.

_Fight, Bella………Please don't give up! _The voice of Edward cried. He was crying for me; why? The light was so beautiful, so temping. I wanted it to feel the warm heat touch my bare arms.

My heart beat slowed, I could feel it and I couldn't hear my pulse in my ears. My body kind of jolted like it had thrown its last punch; my body was done fighting. It was over; all my hard work was gone, down the drain.

This was the end, I thought. Then my last thoughts drifted to my son. No, this can't be the end; I didn't like this anymore. The heat from the light, instead of warm it burned and the light blinded, and then an image appeared before my eyes. It was Edward's face; he was enraged that my soul was dying.

I could hear my heart beat for some reason and it was beating really fast and then slowed.

"_Not yet, Bella, you promised," _the voice screamed.

"I'm trying!" I yelled in frustration my eyes widened as the light came closer slowly wrapping around me! "No, no!!!" I screamed.

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My eye's snapped open, and I swear I was screaming. I was in a cold sweat and I was trying to regain my breath.

"Bella, Bella!" I heard a voice that sounded like my mother. I opened my mouth to scream but nothing came out. "Thank god!" The women cried as she wrapped her arms around me sobbing and rubbing my head trying to soothe me. I looked around in confusion. Where was I?

I looked around the room. There were white walls and plain colored furniture. I'd been here enough to understand where I was: a hospital. The drapes were closed and the lights were snapped off, it looked dark and cold in here, like this room was in a deep depression; it reminded me of my own dark state and yet, this room felt comforting.

I tried to breathe right as my mother tried to calm me down by whispering everything was going to be fine.

"Oh, Bella." She cried and then quickly pressed the nurse's button a million times. I didn't understand why she was acting like this; my mind was still focused on that dream I didn't feel warm and from what I could hear my heart beat was fine, so why was she acting like a crazy person? I didn't remember anything!

I felt so stiff, like I'd been laying here forever. I tried to move but all the wires on my body were in the way, I slowly tugged one and a beeping sound went off. "Stop that!" my mother scowled, slapping my hand and replacing a cord back to a wire. I just looked at her. She looked confused as if she wasn't sure why I was acting like this and then she backed away as the door snapped open and a doctor came running in.

"She's up!" my mother cried standing against the wall and then screaming for my father, he came running in like a mad man, he looked at my mother's crying face then to me and gave a huge smile.

"Thank god!" he said, as if he'd been crying. He rushed over to my side and gave me a kiss, "Bells," he whispered.

The doctor coughed, "I need to exam her" he spoke softly my dad nodded and retreated to where my mother was, he slowly grabbed her had. I looked back to the doctor,

"May I?" he asked politely reaching down to lift me, I nodded yes. He slowly lifted my limp body up so that it was sitting straight, my feet dangled over the bed and my toes touching the cold tile; I felt like I hadn't moved in ages, like I needed to reteach my body to work properly.

"Ok, honey, let me check you're stats really quick," he said as he pressed a few buttons on the machine that made the beeping sound it printed out a paper with lines on it, he made an "uhummm," sound and then nodded to himself.

"Her heart rate looks fine; it bounced around a few and the only bad time is when it stopped for a few second last night," he replied to my parents they nodded my mother was biting her nails,

Wait, my heart stopped?

"Ok let me see into your brain" he laughed I flinched when he came closer but didn't make a noise he sat on a stool in front of me. He pulled out a flash light and cheeked my eyes.

"Bella…….. Bella, can you respond?" the man asked.

I tried. "Yes…." I choked out my throat burned.

"What's wrong with her?" my mother sobbed.

The doctor frowned. Why was he frowning? "The coma could have had a slight affect on her," What? I said the word fine; I am ok! I yelled to him in my mind. I shut my eyes in frustration.

"What kind?" My dad asked, "She might have memory loss!" he stated my mother sobbed as my father held her. He tried to keep his face straight what the hell was going on?

"Bella, do you remember your name?" asked the man.

I nodded, he sighed, "Isabella Marie Swan" I choked out he nodded.

"What is your date of birth?" he asked.

"September 13," I replied once more.

"Bella, do you know why you're here?" he asked and studied my face. My body went into shock and I held my breath. I threw my hands to my stomach. It was flat.

Images ran through my head. I could hear my screams and the pain all the blood and the sound of my son's cry.

"Where is he?" I demanded, they didn't answer. "Where is he?!?!" I screamed.

My mother ran over. "He's fine; I'll grab him. It's fine, Bella," she whispered trying to calm me. I nodded and she ran out of the room.

My father walked beside me.

"Bella, what can you remember?" the doctor asked I closed my eyes to try to remember the images that flashed behind my eyes; I saw Edward, and my friends, everything.

"Everything," I whispered speaking my mind. He nodded.

"I don't think she has memory loss, but I would still keep watch on her. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll have to run her tests back to the lab." He smiled and left,

Charlie helped lay me back down and then studied my face for a long while, almost like he didn't want to look away.

"I thought I lost you, Bells," he slowly said as he landed his head down. I just stared, "Your heart stopped twice last night, they had to pump. You're here. They told us you weren't going to make it; I thought I lost you," he cried.

"I'm ok, daddy" I replied, he looked up.

"You don't remember, do you?" he asked. I shook my head no, too afraid to talk.

"You scared me to death!" he spoke; I was surprised, Charlie wasn't one to talk about his feelings.

"What happened?" I choked out. He frowned.

"You lost too much blood; they had to drug you too keep you asleep or you would have been in too much pain," he said in a saddened toned.

"How long?" I asked, scared that I missed something.

"Almost two weeks" he sighed I closed my eyes two weeks? I missed two weeks.

"How did I get here?" I asked he wiped more tears from his eyes.

"Baby, you where running down a hill to catch Jacob, and being you," he laughed at himself then went on, "You tripped and before anyone could catch you, you rolled down the hill and hit a tree, which broke your ribs and caused you to go into labor. They couldn't get you to the hospital in time, so you had to give birth at Emily's house; baby, she saved your life," he finished the story by rubbing my head and sniffing back tears. I knew Emily saved my life; I owed her forever, I would be thankful for the rest of my life. She saved my son; how could I not owe her?

"Really?" I asked as I tried to sit up. Nope, bad idea, it hurt too much.

.

"Yeah, you where losing too much blood, and she stopped it in time, and they brought you over here. I almost had a heart attack when I found out. They didn't think you'd make it, last night they told us to get ready because you weren't going to make it through the night" I thought back to that dream I'd had.

"Oh" I said.

"But no more sadness; you're alive and that's all that counts." He replied trying to smile.

"Where is he?" I asked worried now, "Oh, he's out with Emily and Jacob. You're mother went off to get him. I'll tell you Bella, that's one beautiful baby you have there; I swear he has everyone wrapped around his fingers already he sure is going to be a grandpa's boy. I'm so proud, I took him down to the station to show him off already. Oh, but Bella, he is gorgeous; he looks so much like you. You did good; you sure can make beautiful babies," I smiled. He was talking about my baby, my son.

I looked to the door when I heard it open swiftly. I smiled so hard my cheeks hurt.

"Here's your son, Bella," My mother said as she walked in and laid him in my arms, I lifted the blanket from his face I gasped. He was so beautiful. My father was dead wrong, he didn't look like me he looked so much like Edward it wasn't even funny.

"Beautiful" I said.

"I know, isn't he?" my mom replied in a daze.

I felt warm tears come out, happy tears. He cooed. My father left and my mother sat at the edge of the bed, "What are you going to name him Bells?" Renee asked. I looked at my child, now sleeping in my arms, I needed to do something; I needed to give a name that means something.

"Um…" I thought for a second, I got it! It's going to be perfect, "Your name, little guy, will be Nathan Edward" I spoke kissing his little head.

"That's a wonderful name Bella, I get the other name, but why Nathan?" My mom asked.

I smiled, "Well, I looked it up one day and the meaning of Nathan is 'He gave,' and I believe my child will give a lot to this world,"

"Oh," was all she replied,

A little while later, I got to talk to Jacob and Emily, after thanking them a least 525 times they had to leave with the rest of my family and friends, because visiting hours were over. But I wasn't complaining; I got to be alone with my child.

Looking at him was like looking at a picture of Edward. He has cream colored skin rosy cheeks the most beautiful brown eyes and messy bronze hair. I just sat there and stared at him, too afraid to let go, afraid that he might disappear. This god-like boy was my son, the creation of my love for Edward forever. This child was going to be in my life. I was a mother.

I counted all his fingers and tiny toes. I mean it was a silly thing to do, but I wanted to be sure all ten were all there. They were. They were so tiny and perfect; he was perfect. He was sleeping in my arms, he looked so peaceful. I then thought, how could you love somebody so much, even though you just met them? I mean, the love I already had for my son was amazing even though I have only known him for half a day, I would die for him. I would kill for him. I would fight for him, I would do anything for him, it didn't matter what. I leaned down and kissed him, "I love you more then you'll ever know, my little Nathan," I loved this child the second I found out I was having him and I'd never regret what I had to go through.

"What did you get yourself into, Bella? Another Cullen boy stole your heart," I laughed.

"I love you so, so much, my little Boy" I said to him. No matter how many times I told him I loved him, it would never be close to how much I love him. I would need endless days and endless nights to even tell him half of the amount of how much I love him. "I know you will never leave me, I know you will love me forever" I said to him a few more tears fell from my eyes.

I couldn't believe it I was someone's mom. Wow. Me, Bella Swan, the klutz, the non-perfect one, was somebody's mom, someone depended on me. I was someone's protector; I brought this perfect baby into this world all by myself, before I would have never even thought about having a baby, to me babies were noise and loud, but after I got pregnant it was all different. This little child is the symbol that I loved Edward, this baby… my son… will help me make it. I would be able to face anything, even face the fact that Edward's not coming back. I had my Little Edward with me, he was the reason I was still alive today, he is the reason I will keep fighting everything life throws at me, with my baby, I'm invincible.

I did it! I lived through it. I was strong enough to save my son. And now, forever, I would someone's mommy and I was ok with that. I held my son in my arms tighter and watched as the moon rose into the sky, and I hummed my son to sleep for the first time.

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**Reveiw?**


	18. Time must pass

**Authors note.**

**I'm so sorry i haven't updated in sooooo long I've been sooo busy with school and all. so forgive me please i finally got around to working on the little world of bella and edward. and there our a few Grammer problems but just bere with me for a while please and am not sure if am like the chapter so far but this is what i got, so hope you all like it. **

**well here you go a chapter that will change EVERY thing. enjoy **

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Edwards POV (While Bella's in her dream dyeing.)

I was attempting to read a old book i had found but it wasn't working, I had a feeling in the pit of my stomach like a vomit kind of feelings everyone was out of the house and I was alone just like how i liked alone to be by myself. "Ahh" I sighed in pain I stood up and clutched my stomach I was in pain thrashing killing pain this never happen before it was odd I couldn't comprehend with it. I tried to think of something that would explain it but for some reason i kept seeing into Alice's mind she was looking into the future to see what was happing; Alice was feeling this too why? but my mind was blocked blocked it meant Alice's was aswell it was fuzzy. Then for the first time in my life I felt a beat and in my ears I could hear a heart beat, I clutched my chest I felt as if I was dyeing. This pain was worse then anything worse then my change. The beat slowed then quickened my eyes snapped as wide as they could and all I could see was fog and threw rips I saw images and images of a girl dyeing fighting bleeding almost like a horror movie. I screamed out of breath. how could Alice keep seeing thins she was so far away why was I also seeing this torcher. I never had anything like this I could feel pain I could feel her death. and Alice could too. I could not make out this girl. Everything seemed to disappear the heart beat stopped and I felt pressure almost like restarting I moaned in pain the girl was dead. Who was she? what did she mean to me? I fell to the ground sobbing it felt like part of me died I never felt pain like that and then in an instance it was like a fresh slap in the face I knew why that girl meant somethings to me, That girl was the only thing for my breathing and then another of Alices visions flashed before me and it was the worst thing I could ever see it killed me before my eyes was a dark piece of stone that read

_Beloved Daughter_

_Isabella Marie Swan _

_September 13 1990 _

_To_

_April 15, 2009_

I fell to my knees and screamed I let shrieks and shouts and rage come out of my body I broke and ripped things. Not this no! My mind for the first time was empty until I fell to the ground shut my eyes and hoped for death. My Bella. And I knew I would also loose every bit of insanity i had left. and a very small part of me also hurt for Alice for she had lost her sister aswell.

**Alice POV**

I laid cradled in Jasper's arms sobbing till i couldn't feel a thing. "Not Bella..." i cried he held me tighter and tried to comfort me he couldn't. I didn't just hurt for me I hurt for my brother.

**The Two year mark, **

TIME PASSES. Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does.  
Even for me, even when nothing else seemed to get my mind off of him, even when I should be thinking different thoughts, his face stays in my head as if it was engraved in stone, even when thinking of him for only a mere second causes me such pain, yes pass it does like they say it would but I will never be over him. Reminders of him are every where I look, when the little boy I call mine runs in the wind and his bronze hair shines in the sun, I catch glances the voice in my head never returned but why would it he those voice belonged too never did either,

I thought these thought as I cleaned red crayons of the white counter in my new apartment I purchased a few months after the birth of my son, I needed to get away from my fathers house that held far to many memories of my old self of what I once was a hapless teenage girl, am now a mother to a two year old child,

Yes my Little Nathan is a smart two year old who could pass for 4 years old and has the brain smart of a 6 year old, I guess you could say it's from being half vampire when people ask I just say he grew faster then normal children, I learned to lie really well I could put up an act and pull it off without someone noticing, Don't get me wrong I loved being a mother Nate was the best thing that could ever have happened to me he saved my life saved me from what I was so close to doing ending my life I loved my son more then anything in this world and he made my life a joy every day,

But the one thing that he could not change was the pain of his fathers leavening, the hole in my chest would open every night and the dreams that caused me to scream would perform every night in my mind like a slid show that never subsided, I would wake up in a cold sweat and find my two year old standing against the frame of my door crying, he's leaveing not only gave me the best thing in my life he ruined my life all at the same time, I hope he's happy!

Witch leads to why am cleaning up at one in the morning, am trying to avoid sleep as much as possialbe,

I turned on the TV and switched it onto the news trying to get my mind off this, I dusted to counter and put the dishes away,

"Mommy?" I heard the most beautiful voice say my favorite word come from his lips, I looked towards the hall to find my little man standing there looking very sleepy caring his blankly rubbing brown eyes, is cream skin glowed in the light coming from the window.

My son was born half Human half vampire; he ate human food and had a thirst for blood that he only got when Jacob took him haunting. He could run fast and lift things most two year olds never could. Is cream skin glittered I the sun but not as much as Edwards I could take him outside and tell people he got into glitter, his skin was a tad bit warmer then mine but he wasn't at all as hot as Jacob. over the years I noticed my son had a gift he could show people things no one could he could show you things from the future and from the past and he could very well tell you what he or anyone else was thinking if he wanted too. He was more special then anyone ever thought of Corse I already knew my son was amazing. All he had to do was place his small little hands on you're face and show you whatever he wanted. I guess from having a father who could read minds you tend to get great powers as well.

I put down the dish I was about to put up, and walked towards him and scooted him in my arms, and then sat on the soft red couch with him laying in my lap, his head layed on my shoulder and I pressed my head into his messy bronze hair and inhaled his sweet scent,

"Why aren't you asleep?" I asked he stirred, "I wanted you." He said in a tired tone, I kissed his head,

"You want me to tell you a story till you fall back to sleep?" I asked rubbing my hand on his back he nodded and pressed his head against my chest, "Do you want you're bottle?" I asked he nodded so very tiredly, I stood up set him on the couch and ran over to the kitchen I pulled out his Sippy cup filled it with apple juice and walked back over to him, he sat up I handed him the bottle and sat down he then went back to laying in the same position on my lap as he once was, quietly sucking of his bottle,

"Witch story bunny?" I asked him using the nick name I gave him when he was born. He lifted his hand to my cheek and showed me the story he wanted one I told him many times before. I smiled and began,

"I tried to Imagine the person you'd be… would you look or act like me ….I thought of the things that we would do….the time we'd share just us two. I'd daydream of the things we'd share like late night bottles and teddy bears like first steps and skinned knees like bed time stories and ABC, I couldn't wait for the day you'd call me mommy and I tell you I love you so!" Finished by kissing his head,

"I love you!" he said as he hugged my neck "I love you more bunny!" I replied and lifted him up and walked him back to his room and placed him back in his crib I slowly covered him up and walked out the door,

Yes that was the reason I was still breathing I thought with a smile, I quickly shut all the lights off in the apartment and stumbling to my bed room to change into my pajamas I slid my hand on the wall trying to find my way when I tripped and fell face first into the ground.

"Shit!" I mumbled I quickly found the light switch and flicked it on I slipped into my sweats and shirt and slid into my cold empty bed and felt the hole slowly take it's place in my chest and I felt the hysteria god not again I thought as the burning ripping edges formed and and I shut my eyes burring my face into my pillow and tried to breath waiting for the morning to come,

And of coarse morning had to come as slow as possible,

I slowly woke up lifting my head from the white pillow opening my eyes, for some reason the light coming threw my window felt good it felt like the light I hadn't seen in a long time almost like the light at the end of a dark tunnel I couldn't explain it, I rolled of the bed stomping my feat onto the ground knocking a frame off the nightstand I lifted up and looked into the honey topaz eyes of my Edward the photo I took the night f my tragic birthday it felt like it was so long ago as if another life the pain of my birthday had disappeared being over shadowed by the pain of his dispatcher, I placed it back on the stand right next to the photo of Bunny from when he was born and stood up making my way to the bathroom,

I switched the light on stepped into the warm shower and washed myself getting ready for work,

I now worked in an office of one of Charles friends it wasn't what you'd call my dream job but hey it got me my home and helped me bring food on the table and take care of my son, when I was done I wrapped a towel around myself and walked to my room a pulled out a clean white shirt and black pencil skirt I slipped those on and put my hair in a simple hair band and forced my feet into a pair of black heels, they sucked but I was required to wear them.

I walked across the hall and pulled bunny out of bed it was still early so he didn't wake I grabbed his diaper bag and my work bag, I covered him with his blanket and ran to the kitchen I grabbed my keys and his jacket and walked to the car, I opened the door and felt the cold wind hit me, I shivered and walked down the steps, I found my car a silver Honda civic My mother , Father, and Phil got me for my nineteenth birthday, I unlocked it and placed Bunny in his car seat buckled him up and placed the bags in the seat next to me, I walked around to the drivers side got in and started the car and pulled out of the parking lot,

I dropped Bunny of at Emily's and headed to work,

Finally the day was over, I was running late picking up my son I missed him. I hated being away from him when he was born it took such force to get me to leave his side the first few weeks he never left my arms I slept cradling him small form I was to afraid he'd disappear and the first day I left him I counted down each tick of the clock till I saw him again. I pushed on the gas trying to speed up to be with him, when I finally got to the house I was meet by a very angry child, "You forgot me!" he screamed, I smiled "I didn't forget I was running late baby" I said has I picked him up and kissed him a million times on the cheek getting a giggle out o him.

"Hi Em." I said as she leaned over and hugged me,

"Hey Bell's" she replayed "Where you good for Aunt Emily?" I questioned he smiled placed his hands against my face and showed me them coloring together, "Good boy!" I said while bouncing him, he laughed.

"Bella I'm not sure how you do this watching him is crazy he's all over the place" she laughed, "It gets easier" and looked at him he was fiddling with my locked that held his photo. "Trust me it's worth it" I replied looking at my son with adoration. He laughed and rubbed her Belly.

She was just barley starting to show and I could see the glow. I smiled looking at her as she stared off into space while rubbing soft circles on her Belly. Yes Emily was Pregnant over the past two years Emily and Sam got Married and got pregnant. I remember when she called me at midnight to tell me it was positive we cried happy tears it was life changing and I promised to be there for her like she was for me.

"You'll be a great mom!" I sighed. He looked at me and laughed. "Just like you Bella" she smiled we talked for a few more minutes before I finally got into my car and drove away.

I was on the freeway heading towards the grocery store when Nate spoke.

"Aunt Emily's having a baby……" he said sadly I looked in the mirror. And saw his little sad face staring into his own mind. "Whets wrong Nathan?" I asked worried. He looked in to the mirror staring back at me. His face scared me to be honest his brown eyes were black and they were hollow he looked so sad it killed me the look on his face was one I never wished to see on my baby. It was pure pain. "Nathan whets wrong?" I almost cried. "Sam has to go?" he questioned my heart thumped. "Why Bunny?" I asked afraid the answer. "Don't all Daddies leave?" he asked my heart felt like it was ripped torn stomped and chucked across the road. "Oh Bunny" I cried, "No Sammie's not leaving ……….. Sammie's going to stay." I cried wiping tears trying to erase my son's pain. And as a snap of my fingers he lightened up. "Good because I've seen the baby…… and she's going to need a daddy" he whispered staring back into space not noticing me anymore. I looked straight ahead and held back tears the pain being overtaken by ridge.

I hate you Edward Cullen.

**Alice's pov, **

I was now alone on my way to fork's yes Fork's, I was coming to do what I should have done two year's ago, what my brother was to big of a coward to do what he wasn't man enough to do himself, what I should have done the second I got the vision of Bella being alive, what I needed to do, what I was going to do now!

I speed up in my yellow porch, and watched my old home flash before me, the home of my best friend my sister, everything looking just like I remembered,

I made a left and pulled into the only store fork's had, because I was out of lip gloss, and am sure Bella wasn't at home right now, she was probably at collage or something, I had a good feeling I was doing exactly what I should be doing to see Bella,


	19. Meeting and Angel

**Authors Notes- Oh wow two chapter in one day yay! of it's not very long but its somthing only a few more chapters and were coming to and end of this great journey (*cry*) but hope you all enjoy this....... It might be a little confusing but it will start to make sence. and ones again forgive the bad grammer please really wanted to update soon for you all.**

**ps. I got a ton of Reveiws from random people who didn't have Fanfic accounts so i couldn't reply i just wanted to say Thank you to ALL for all the love for my story. so thank you enjoy. **

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**Alice POV. **

I stepped out of my porch and slammed the door shut. I walked towards the entrance ignoring all the stare's the men were giving me, and with a click of my red heels I was into the market and making my way to the make up aisle trying to find the perfect shade of pink. I was slowly humming to myself I was ecstatic to know at any moment I was going to see Bella. Would she look the same? Was she with someone new? Did she remember me? Of course she did how could she forget. I suddenly remembered the vision that brought me to my knees with happiness. I was in the middle of trying to get Jasper to leave the room so I could wrap his birthday gift when out of the blue I caught a glimpse of a young girl who I knew within a intense it was Bella she was walking down the street talking on a cell phone it wasn't clear maybe because I hadn't seen her future in so long but I could tell it was her that she was very well alive and that's all that mattered.

Gottcha! I whispered as I reached out to grab the soft pink lip-gloss and as I clutched in my hands a ball came flying at me and the lip gloss slipped from my hand and landed on the while tile.

"Hey" I shouted.

"Sorry Lady….." a baby like voice said while running towards me. And up came running a bronze haired child.

**Bella's POV. **

I pulled into the parking lot of the food market and grabbed my purse and my son and made my way inside; fairly noticing the beautiful Yellow porch in the spot next to me. It was one of the nicest cars I'd ever seen I ignored it and grabbed a cart and started my way around the store my sell phone rang and for a quick second I let go of Nathans hand to pick it up.

"Hello?" I mumbled it was my father. And in a second I lost sight of Nathan. "Hold on Dad" I whispered. "Nate" I shouted. No answer. "I'll call you back!" I mumbled and shut my phone threw it in my purse and went looking for my son. "Nate?" I cried.

**Alice POV.**

The Little boy moved closer and as he moved closer he reminded me more and more of someone there was something strange about this child something I couldn't make out but the feeling I had towards this child was strong.

I bent down and lifted the ball in my hands and stayed at his level. He walked near me and reached his small hands out. "Here you go…" I whispered and handed the ball to him. "Thank you." He spoke nicely in an angelic like voice.

I studied the boy he had cream skin soft chocolate eyes and bronze messy hair he was beautiful. Id seen these features before but I couldn't make it out there was something in this child I just know it!

The little boy turned to leave,

"Wait!" I almost screeched I needed to know who this boy belonged to because the more I think about who this child reminds me of the more I feel I'm in a dream. He stopped and looked at me with a confused look; he held onto the ball tightly and stared into my eyes. "Yes" he replied blinking slowly is long lashes over his beautiful brown eyes with gold speaks.

"What's you're name?" I asked while grabbing his arms softly trying not to scare him and staring at him with confusion.

"Nathan." He replied like he was asked that every day. Nathan? I questioned. My mind was blank I couldn't see a thing and I was more confused then ever.

"And what's you're last name honey?" I asked, he lit up,

"Cullen!" he answered sweetly I swear if I could throw up I would have right now my body started to sway, was it possible for a Vampire to going into a shock? How the hell was this possible? There had to be more Cullen's out there but the more and more I look at this small child the more he looked like a one certain Cullen I knew and loved.

"Do you have a Father?" I asked more urgent needing answers and not resting till I found them. He nodded no sadly and looking down at the ball.

"Did you're mommy ever say the name of your daddy?" I asked he nodded. "Can you please tell me?" I asked more urgent. "My daddies name is Edward Cullen!" he smiled with pride, oh god I felt like the room was spinning I couldn't grab a hold of this was this true? How was it possible could it be? He had the eyes of Bella the brown ones Edward loved.

"How old are you?" I asked trying to regain myself. "I Just turned 2!" he replied that sound about right, but this boy didn't look 2 he looked about 4 maybe 5 was this a joke?

Bella had a son with my Brother. My brother got Bella pregnant he left her caring a child I didn't know weather to be mad or sad my body was to confused how was it possible for my brother to have conceived a child we couldn't people like us couldn't it just wasn't real, was Bella lying? Would she even be capable of that? Did something happen and she had to hide it by saying Edward was the father? Did she have an encounter with those men Edward saved her from that night so long ago; I swallowed back disgust with that thought. But if this was my brother's son how did she manage to give birth to a vampire child?

"Nathan my name is—"he cut me off "I know your name it's Alice" he replied in a knowing tone "How do you know" I asked shocked he grinned and smiled then leaned in to whisper something into my ear. "Because I know things before people tell me, I'm like a super hero" he said in a whisper, if there was any doubt this was Edwards child it vanished,

"What's the name of you're Mo—"I was cut off,

"Nathan Edward Cullen! Get your little butt over here?" a scared voice cried. I froze knowing, who's voice it was, the young girl came around the corner looking at the little boy,

"Sorry mommy!" the little boy ran over the Bella,

"And what did I say about talking to st—"she looked at me and stopped,

"Al….Alice?" she asked with wide eye's,

I stood up and stretched out my arm's,

"In the flesh, that is if vampire's have flesh, oh well you know!" she smiled and ran towards me, and threw me into a hug,

"OH ALICE I MISSED YOU TERABLEY" she cried,

"I did to Bella," she then let go, almost like she was shocked and she then picked up the little boy,

"Is he here to?" Bella choked,

"No just me!" I said while rubbing my hand in the messy hair of this little boy, Bella let out a sigh of relief,

"Can I?" I asked while extending my arms,

She nodded and handed me the little boy, and nuzzled my head into his hair,

"So you know?" she asked,

"Yes Bella I know…." I smiled she grinned but then frowned. "How did you do it Bella?" I asked. She looked up and stared at me with intense brown eyes she looked around. "Not here meet me back at my house." She replied calmly I nodded. She quickly pulled a pen and paper from her purse I waited calmly while looking at the little boy who was now playing with the buttons on my white shirt. She wrote down and address and then handed it to me. I grabbed it and she pushed back her short hair from her face. I handed her back her son but before I gave him a kiss on the head.

We quietly waked out to out cars I had so much questions in me but I had to wait I was about to blow but I knew I couldn't ask her everything now. I took a quick glance at her and she held her son close to her chest staring into space.

We both got into our cars and I followed Bella home.

I quickly reached my hand to the passenger seat grabbed my purse dug out my cell phone and hit speed dial. It rang a few second.

"Yes Alice…" A surprised voice Answered "Get you're ass to Forks now take the first plane to Seattle then drive the rest of the way. We have allot to talk about!" I replied then quickly shut the phone and threw it in the seat behind me.

This was going to be interesting………………………….

Bella's POV

Alice was back. I rejoiced in my mind as Nathan was falling asleep in the back. Part of me thought that I should be worried but the other half was too happy to care my best friend was back…… I for the first time I felt like I was going to be ok even if it was for a little while.

Unknown POV.

I quickly backed my things and drove 100 miles per hour to the airport. I walked quickly to the front counter and spoke softly.

"One way ticket to Seattle WA. please." The lady at the counter nodded asked for my card and then handed me my ticket." I found my way to my seat and shut my eyes for the ride.

Forks here I come…….


	20. And he came and went

**Title: **Forgiving Pain.

**Author: twilight lover **731

**Rating: **T

**Warning: **Ok People the Chapter you all have been waiting please don't shoot me by the time you finish this chapter but it a big long one for you guys. and once again please forgive the bad grammer. well am going to shut up and let you read. ;)

**Genre: **Romance/Drama

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. Its all SM's. I'M just a twilight lover who didn't want to see the story end!

**Author's note: Ok Guys here's a juicy chapter to start off you're three day weekend**

**Special thanks to- To all you guys who read I'm almost at 200 reveiw i remember when all i had was six lol thanks so much for making my story a hit. love you all! **

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Chapter song---- Snow Patrol Ft. Martha Wainwright Set The Fire to The Third Bar. You have to listen to this song when you see the POV that says now trust me it makes the story so much better this song helped me write this chapter. so it's a must hear. ;) hope ya think so to.

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Now ladys and gents i give to Forgiving pain! enjoy.

**Bella's POV.**

I Pulled into the parking lot of my home and Alice followed she parked right behind me and stepped out of the car. I did the same I slowly and quietly opened the car door and pulled out my sleeping baby he stirred and then rested his head on my shoulder; I placed a kiss on his head.

"This way" I smiled at her she smiled her pixie smile right back. Oh how I missed that seeing her made it feel like things never changed like it was all still the same, I swallowed back the tears. It was almost dark and there weren't very many cars out all I could hear was Alice's heels and the breathing of Nathan.

She followed me and stood still when I unlocked the door. I let her step inside first I was a little embarrassed that she had to see my house with toys every where and it was a little messy but knowing Alice she wouldn't care. I flicked the lights on and laid the baby on the couch and covered him up.

I turned to her and she had a look on her face that if she was human she might have been blue; I smiled. "Let it out." I laughed she squealed and ran up and hugged me so tight I might bruise but I didn't care I hugged back and smelled her sweet vampire smell that I missed so much.

"OHHHHHHHHH BELLLLAAAAA I MISSED YOUUUUUUU!" she laughed and let go. "I missed you too Ally." I didn't realize I was crying till I touched me cheek "You had me worried sick Bella!" she playfully slapped my arm. I smiled it felt like old times. "You're house is so cute and so you but now that I'm back this house will be the best house on the block am pretty sure I can still get a discou—" I laughed and cut her off. "Ally I think we should take it one step at a time." I said while kicking my heels off. "Oh yeah." She said while eyeing Nathan. I smiled. "Come on." I grabbed her hand and led her into my room where I knew we wouldn't wake the baby, she sat on the bed and wrapped her arms around her little knees. "Give me a sec" I said as I ran to the bathroom and changed.

"Wow Bella you sure grew up.." she said while looking around my room she didn't seem to look like she liked that thought. "Every things so different." She said sadly. I pulled on my sweats and a tank and pulled my hair down.

"Well things changed….. I had to change" I replied holding back tears. And walking into my room.

She was holding the photo off my nightstand of Nathan when he was born. "I wish I was there to hold you're hand Bella." she said while looking up with pain on her face. I sat down and rubbed her back I didn't want Alice to hurt it wasn't her fault her and her family had to leave I could never blame her…...

"I know Ally but I managed on my own." I said forcing a smile, she nodded and looked me over. "Bella you look like shit!" she said trying to be honest but not hurt my feelings, and it didn't I knew I did I spent almost three years not getting sleep that does something to a person. "I've been trying my hardest ok" I replied. "I know, us leaving didn't help at all ugh?" she asked mostly talking with herself.

"It didn't…." I replied not looking into her eyes.

"Tell me every thing!" she demanded. So I did we sat on my bed for hours going over every bit of life without my Vampires, every bit of it from all the nights I cried to the days I felt fine, from when I found out I was carrying a child to the birth she kept quite the whole time and let me cry when I needed to.

With a huff I finished and then looked at her. "I'm so sorry Bella I truly am!" she dry sobbed. "I know Alice" I hugged her.

"I just don't understand……..How could this have happened we were told it was impossible for something like this…. If it was Rose would have a whole house of babies." Alice spoke thinking, I sighed and thought for a second as well…

"When I first found out I was carrying his child…." I spoke she looked up and listened. "Well it might be wrong so don't get to into this.." she nodded. "Well Vampire women can't have kids but don't they say men and you know have babys till there well you know old and since I'm human my body can hold a baby so…." I couldn't think of anything better. "That could be it." She spoke looking into space. And just a second later her phone went off.

"Just a sec Bella." she whispered and walked out of the room.

**Alice's POV**

I grabbed my phone and saw the caller I.D I quickly flipped it open and pressed the little green button. "Hello….." I whispered not wanting Bella to hear. "Why are you whispering?" the voice on the other line asked. "Long story I'll explain when you get here ok…" I pressed I heard a sigh. "Do you want me to pick up our little friend on the way?" he asked. "Yes but don't give to much detail please" I begged. "Things have to stay quite for a while just get here as soon as you can!" I begged and then clicked the phone off and walked back into the bedroom were Bella sat.

**Bella's POV**

"Who was that?" I asked wondering If it was him…."Oh no one you know just a person." She said trying to blow it off. "Oh" I sighed trying to clear my mind of things. And then a question popped into my head and before I could think if it was alright to ask it blurted out. "Were is he?" I asked trying to make my voice sound like I didn't really care. She looked back at me and answered "Last time I talked to him he was in Mexico." I felt disgust he was on a vacation and I was here alone and broken. "Hope he Enjoys himself…." I hissed. "It's not like that Bel—" she was about to say when she was cut off by the door bell.

She stiffenened. "who's that Bella…" she almost hissed I flinched. "I don't know it might be Jacob…." She stood up. "The mutt you were telling me about." I nodded "I have to go Bella…." she sighed while eyeing my window. NO was all my mind could think.

"Alice you—" she hugged me "I'll be back I promise I wont leave." She whispered I felt a bit better. She kissed my cheek and before I could say something else she jumped out the window.

I fixed myself a bit and the door Bell rang again. And then I heard my son open the door. "JACOB!!" he giggled. "hey little man.." I heard Jake laugh. I walked out plastering a smile on my face.

"Hey Bella." he said as he lifted Nathan in his big arms. I hope he didn't notice that another vampire was here. But if he did I couldn't tell. "Hi Jake." I walked up and hugged him. "Aren't you supposed to be in bed…" Jacob faked a scowl. "Nooo." Nathan laughed. "I'll lay him down." I said reaching for him Jacob pulled back. "No it's ok I'll do it…" he offered I nodded and then he lifted Nathan over his head and ran to his bedroom.

I walked to the basket of clothes that were on the couch I needed to get my mind off things to try to pull myself together.

I could hear laughter from the other room and I smiled and then there was silent and I was left alone with nothing but my thoughts….

**Alice's POV. (now)**

I drove as fast as I could to my old home I needed to beat them to it I had to be there when they got there.

And when I finally broke threw all the trees there it was the same as ever I was home where we all should have always stayed but it looked scary almost like there hadn't been love like it was a shodow of coldness and pain I stayed in the car for a second just staring at it until my mind came back to reality. I grabbed my bags and headed in side.

The first thing I did was switch all the lights on and pull covers off all of the things we left here when my brother made his escape. And then next thing I knew I heard a car speed into the drive way I gulped and stood motionless staring at the door waiting…….

It slammed open and I ran to the figure that walked in I wrapped my arms around him and kissed his face. "I needed you!" I sobbed "I'm here honey.." Jasper said trying to make me feel better I pulled away and he kissed my face.

"Is he with you?" I asked now focusing on the whole reason we were doing this. "Yes of coarse he'll be right in. I pulled away and jasper and I sat on the couch I told him every thing as we waited for him to come inside.

"Alice." I heard one of the voices I hadn't heard in so long. I stood up and walked to him and hugged him so tight I might have broken him. "Edward." I said and pulled away looking him over he looked just as bad as Bella did. They were broken without each other and they knew it they needed each other. Lets just hope I'm not to late to fix this all.

"Why I'm I needed here!" he spoke trying to ignore my gaze. I pulled him to one of the white chair by the window and made him sit. I then moved next to Jasper and stared at him. "Alice please tell me so I can leave!" he begged. I grabbed Jaspers hand. "Now you must listen and not interrupt me do you under stand!" I spoke sternly he nodded and I began.

**Bella's POV. **

I was folding up Nathan cloths that were in the wash basket waiting for Alice to return she had to come back of coarse she did she promised as soon as Jake left she'd Return wouldn't she? These thoughts ran threw my head for the whole five minutes I was alone., I sighed and then I jumped when I felt a pair of warm arms go around me; Jacob , I forgot he was here, "Hey Bella what's wrong?" he whispered into my ear I shivered at his closeness. "Nothing Jacob just thinking." I replied it wasn't that big of a lie, "I know you to well" he said I turned over so I was facing him, he looked me in the eyes, I hated when he did that it made me think of how much I needed him but not the way he needed me. And it hurt me that I was hurting him. But I relied on him so much far to much then I should.

I looked down; he sighed and lifted my chin with his warm hands.

"Bella" I looked at him, "I love you," I froze and looked down no don't let this happen now please no I begged my mind. "No look at me" he demanded I forced myself to look "Bella I know what he did to you But Bella I'd never do that! It's been almost three years Bella I've been here and I love you I would never hurt you ever! Id kills myself before I'd do that! Bell's Id love you forever I'd never let you down I'd kill for you Bella!" he finished he was right He did love me he showed me that many times I was there threw it all he was the one who held my hand while I gave birth to my son he was there holding my hand threw it all! Jacob leaned in and for the first time I didn't pull back he moved closer I could feel his warm breath; I closed my eyes and he moved in he wrapped his arms around my torso I placed mine on his back and he kissed me, my lips sparked, and for the first time I felt the hunger the hunger to be wanted to feel like how My Edward made me feel, I kissed him back with hunger and he did just the same, I felt him press me the a wall and kiss me he kissed me with force but I kissed just the same,

What was wrong with wanting to make him Happy even if I wasn't I owed him no I'd never be as ever even close to happy as I as with Edward but I could some how try to be happy couldn't I?

**Edwards POV**

"No!" I roared and smashed the coffee table against the wall and watched it break! "Edward Listen you have to let Alice finish!" Jasper yelled trying to calm me! Alice sat on the couch as still as ever. "No" I cried. I left her alone she went threw madness because of my I left just so she could find a new monster. "Edward please let my finish." Alice asked nicely I stood still while pain ripped threw me. Jasper doubled over in pain at my pain. "I'm sorry I whispered. Jasper nodded and walked outside and shut the glass door. "Edward Bella lived threw it." Those words brought me hope I looked up begging for her to go on. She walked over and placed her hand on my face.

"Edward….. Bella gave birth to a son…. You're son…….." that's all I needed to hear!

**Bella's POV**

Jacob finished the kiss by pressing his head to mine I could hear our breathing. "Bella.." he sighed my name

The whole time all I could think about was Edward But why? He was never coming back this was my chance to try to be happy no I was never going to be fully happy with Jacob, but why couldn't I be? Edward wasn't coming back! Yes Alice was here but Edward wasn't coming back! The prince was never coming to save me he wasn't I know he's not right?

**Edwards POV,**

Hold on Bella I'm coming………………. Wait for me.


	21. The prince came

**Title: **Forgiving Pain.

**Author: twilight lover **731

**Rating: **T

**Warning: **some slite Bella Jacob time don't hate me please. and some bad Grammer sorry.

**Genre: **Romance/Drama

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. Its all SM's. I'M just a twilight lover who didn't want to see the story end!

**Author's note: Ok guys this is it the time has come when the all to good Vampire and the helpless human reunite but will it be forgood wait and see. **

**Special thanks to- To all you guys who read I'm almost at 200 reveiw i remember when all i had was six lol thanks so much for making my story a hit. love you all! **

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**Bella's POV**

Jacob and I sat for a long time talking over "us" I didn't intend on kissing him like I did I wish I could go back and change what I'd done because now I was stuck in something that I didn't want not only that I couldn't do that but I had to try for Jacob I owed him that much.

He fell asleep on the couch and I laid right next to him as much as I regretted kissing him I needed him I didn't want to be alone and it felt nice laying next to him, maybe it wouldn't be all that bad just like this it wouldn't be that bad could it? I mean Jacob held my hand all the time and kissed my cheek and it felt nice nothing would really change just a kiss on the lips here and there but it would all really be the same.

With Jacob being asleep I was alone with nothing but the sounds of his soft snores and my thoughts; feeling disgusted with myself……. Of Corse things would change he would believe I loved him and don't get me wrong I do love him but not the way he loves me I would live a lie every day; I already do but still…… as silly as it was I felt as if I cheated on Edward I promised myself I'd love him forever and there I went kissing someone like I kissed him. But did it really matter? It didn't really, Edward wasn't here he'd never know what so ever so ever so what was really the big deal.

Jacob sighed and turned over placing his big hot arm around me he clung to me, I wasn't sure I really liked this………. It felt wrong I was not only betraying Edward but I was betraying myself and I couldn't do that, but is I was going to have anything more with Jacob this was what needed to happen.

Part of me wondered what would Edward think and I fought with myself for quite a while with the negative and the positives would this be right could I let this happen? I mean my son needed a father in is life and he wasn't going to get that from Edward and Nathan adored Jacob wouldn't that be right to do for my son? And in that instance and that little moment of quite I heard something I wasn't expecting.

_Be Happy…………_

I froze my eye's widened and my breathing hitched I hadn't heard his voice in so long since the birth of my son……….. was this truly what was to happen if Edward knew this was happing would he want me to be happy with Jacob? Of coarse he always wanted the best for me when he loved me he did.

And as if right on queue Jacob shifted and woke up. "Bella.." he sighed "Yeah Jacob." I replied kissing his arm letting him know I made my decision. He smiled. And leaned down to my ear,

"Marry me." He asked I froze my body aced and my heart hurt. I gulped back tear. "Really?" I asked trying to see if he was joking, I heard his husky laugh."Of coarse." He pressed. And before I could think I spoke. "Fine." I replied and in that second I wish I could have sowed my lips shut to keep from saying things. He looked at me with such joy. "I love you and I will forever promise." He bent down and kissed me. I felt the tears roll down and the last bit of my heart died.

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Some time later Jacob decided to go he gave me a kiss good by and left. I shut the door and locked it after he left. I felt numb all over it was only a few hours till Nathan woke and I couldn't sleep so I just walked to my bed and laid in it the cold sheets didn't feel right on my bare legs, I tossed and turned never feeling quite right. Jacob didn't really mean that he wanted to get married did he?

Some were along the lines of my restless night I fell asleep……… as I slept I dreamed of everything till those dreams turned into a dark nightmare…….

In my dream all I saw was Edwards cold face his eyes were bloody red he was thirsty for my blood this wasn't the Edward I knew "I didn't want you anymore Bella." he yelled to me. "Don't you see you weren't good enough….." he laughed and evil chuckle and then came after me. I couldn't move I watched him move towards me and I let out a scream as loud as the havens.

I woke up in a cold sweat tears streaming down my face and my heart racing my lungs burned had I been screaming? My head snapped sideways the cold breeze hit my face I looked at the window and gulped back the lump in my throat was I dreaming again it was wide open and a dark figure that looked all to familiar side at the rim.

"No Bella wake up……" I cried to myself trying to hit myself to wake. "No not this please!" I cried I felt my heart rip my chest burn the hole grew the figure that looked so much like him ran from the window to my side.

"NO!" I screamed trying to kick this dream wouldn't end and it was going to kill me in the morning.

**Edwards POV**

I ran faster and faster not even paying attention to my surroundings just following the directions Alice gave me I had to get to her! I needed to see her to prove to myself that she was alive that all that pain I went threw was for nothing that the most amazing this in my life was still breathing……Could she really have given me a child? Yes I didn't doubt her one bit.

As I got closer I could see lights to a large apartment building. I pushed myself faster feeling the wind go threw my hair. As I got closer I could smell her sweet scent out of all of them…and for the first time in 100 years I almost felt a heart beat, my Bella was so close I could feel it…….

I'm almost there love.

As I got closer I could hear the screams of my Bella I pushed till I swear my legs almost came off I scaled the building brick by brick until I was sure I was at the window that belonged to her. I all but almost ripped the window from the wall.

My breath hitched there she was laying there in the bed before I hadn't seen her face in two years to long. Words could not explain the feeling I had my chest swelled up and there was……….. her beautiful face not as childless as it had looked like when I left more womanly more grown up she was just as prefect.

She let out a scream and snapped up. I stayed still she turned her head to the window and started screaming "No Bella wake up!" she screamed "No not this please" she cried I jumped from the window and at the speed of light was by her side "NO!" she screamed I grabbed her arms and tried to calm her. "Bella I'm here you're not asleep!" she sob and kicked and punched till she was worn out.

**Bella's POV.**

I kicked and I punched this couldn't happen he had to go away I needed to wake up. "Bella please…." he dry sobbed and pulled me to his chest "no go away am dreaming." I cried trying to pull out. "Bella I'm here you're not dreaming love I promise its me I'm back and never leaving you again Bella please believe me please!" he cried I blinked a few times and looked at him.

I lifted my hand and touched his face my fingers pressed against his cold cheek he watched me.

"Edward…" I cried "Bella. my Bella." he replied with a sigh of relief.

And in a signal second threw myself up and wrapped my arms around his neck and clanged on he did the same to me, and for the first time ever the hole in me chest was closed I was heeled it was like he never left like that was all a night mare and the last months meant nothing and his words in the forest didn't mean a thing and it didn't matter if he did not want me I would never want anything but HIM no matter how long I lived. "Bella" oh how I longed to hear my name come out of his lips, I cried into his stone chest and he just held me I could feel the sob coming from him. He wrapped me up in his arms stood up and lifted me off the ground and kissed me, he kissed me his god I missed his lips I missed everything about him I missed him it hurt I needed him and he was here.

I kissed him back with such force and passion how could I be so stupid Edward was the only man I wanted the only one I'd ever need and if he didn't need me then that's to bad because I'd never want nothing but him! And were he went I'd follow it'd just me be and him forever.

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**Hehe Ok i left a cliff hanger don't hate and fyi I am a total team Edward so this is def a team Edward story. but..........let's see what happens **

** Reveiw?**


	22. The meeting

**Title: **Forgiving Pain.

**Author: twilight lover **731

**Rating: **T

**Warning: **Cliff hanger

**Genre: **Romance/Drama

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. Its all SM's. I'M just a twilight lover who didn't want to see the story end!

**Author's note: Ok guys heres the next chapter enjoy!**

**Special thanks to- OMG more then 200 reveiws thank you guys so MUCH! thats amazing you guys are the best!**

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**Bella's POV**

I couldn't sleep after our little reunion he cradled me in his arms and just stared at me, I did the same. I stared into his warm eyes that I remembered I couldn't fall back asleep because I was to afraid he'd leave again and part of my still couldn't believe that he was here and that very part of me was scared to death scared to my pits that at any moment he could disappear.

I finally broke the silent I needed my answers and I was going to get them!

"Why?" I asked in a quite voice he knew what I meant and he frowned. "I needed to keep you safe Bella—" I cut him off. "From what Edward? Ugh we were fine it was one mistake it wasn't Jaspers fault and—" this time he cut me off and pressed his cold finger to my lips so I'd let him finish; I stayed quite.

"Bella when I saw the simple danger you were in from a signal paper cut that you almost came close the death because of how selfish I was." I was about to protest but he just went on. "I was selfish because I wanted you with me! Because I couldn't live without you!" he was angry now. "Because no matter what I did I couldn't keep you save from who I was! That all the odds were stacked against us that nothing could go right." I stood my self up and slid over to the other side of the bed it killed me to pull away from him but I needed him to see my point.

I slid my knees to my chest and spoke. "The odds weren't stacked against us! You knew what I wanted you knew all I wanted was YOU I told you over and over that I wanted to be with you forever that was it a simple thing and you wouldn't budge you were too stubborn Edward you couldn't just except the fact that some one loved you!" I was seething now and I tried to calm myself he looked at me.

"Yes Bella I knew what you wanted and I wasn't going to give you a soulless future I wasn't going to damn you to this live to watch everyone you love die! I'd be to selfish to do that I couldn't!" he fought back with me. I couldn't look at him the tears were coming and I just looked at the window there was a full moon out; a new moon.

He scooted closer to me and pressed his cold hand to my leg it tingled it felt like that odd day in science that felt as if it was century's ago. I looked up into his honey eyes. He glanced at the picture of my son on the nightstand and then back to me.

"Bella if I knew this would have happened if I knew we were capable of this." He eyed the photo again. "If I knew I would have never left you're side Bella I wouldn't have left you to fend for you're self to try to be protected by filthy mutts no never Bella I would have stayed!" he explained I felt the anger build up and the tears stung "NO!" I screamed he looked confused. How could he think like that who did he think I was!

" I wouldn't want that Edward not ever!" he stayed silent not speaking. "Edward if I would have—if we would have known." I corrected myself "If we would have known that we could make such a thing. I would have never wanted you to stay just because I was carrying your child no Edward never, not when you didn't love me. I would have left first you know I'm not like that. I would have never forced you to stay when you didn't want to." I finished and I couldn't help it the tears came down faster I put my head in my hands.

"Bella….." he whispered. I looked up at his pale face that shined in the moon. "That's were you're wrong and were I hate myself. It killed me in the woods to tell you things that I did and how you could believe that I no longer loved you I could see in you're eyes that you thought I never wanted you! After all the million times I told you I did." I looked at him.

"Bella every second I was away from you I slowly and terribly died before you my world was like I moonless sky and then you came and you shot across like a ball of fire and all I could see was you. And then when I was away from you it was like a moonless starless sky and all I could see was black."

I scooted closer. "Bella you're all I ever loved in this world I am so selfish to return but I can't live without you and am sorry that a failed you I wasn't here to hold you're hand but Bella I'm here now and just tell me can you still love me? Do you still want me? Because if you don't if you found another I will gladly leave and never bother you again but just let me see my son please can you Bella please!"

I never see him like this he always seemed so strong and brave and now he seemed to beg and I knew I loved him he's all I'd ever want of coarse. I pulled his face to mine and slowly pressed my lips to his I could taste his sweet breath on my lips he closed his eyes I did the same and inch my inch we became closer and out small kiss turned into a flame of passion I felt whole and safe yes Edward was all I'd ever want and nothing and no one could change that! Never.

I pulled away to get some air and all was to be heard was our ruff breathing. "I love you always! Forever" I replied. "As do I Bella!" he wrapped his arms around me and for a second the world seemed to stop and all that mattered was him and I.

"Mommy!" I heard a cry and my mother mode kicked in Edward froze. I pulled away and grabbed his hand. "Come with me." I smiled he looked a little worried. "Are you sure?" he asked. "He's you're son." Edward smiled. We walked out of my room into the dim lighting of the hall he followed me quietly.

"Stay here." I ordered he stood against the wall of the living room showing me he wasn't going any were. I walked into the other room the bedroom of my son our son. Nathan was awake standing up griping the bars of his crib his cheeks were stained from tears.

"Baby what's wrong?" I ran over and wrapped him in my arms. "I hade a bad dream!." He sobbed, "Shhh" I slowly hummed trying to calm him he did he was still for a moment I knew he was seeing something.

"Who's here?" he asked in a hushed tone. He looked worried while trying to see if he could find anything I looked at him "Someone's here to see you they've been waiting a long time." He nodded I set him on the ground and grabbed his hand and walked out were Edward was waiting. He was looking at a few photos on the wall when I came out he froze and smiled when he saw Nathan.

It wasn't a smile I'd ever seen on his face before it was a smile of pure love and adoration and honestly it made my heart swell.

Nathan stopped and stood still I bent to his level "Nate go say hello." I spoke trying not to frighten him he nodded and moved closer; Edward bent down; I crossed my fingers. "Hello." Nathan spoke softly.

"Hello Nathan." Edward replied bending down I felt tears wheel in my eyes I waited so long for this to happen and it finally was I dreamed so many times for this and hoped and it was finally here Edward got to meant his son.

"I know who you are." Nathan replied in a knowing tone he tended to have most times. "You do?" Edward asked not one bit surprised. "uhh uh I dream about you all the time and moma screams for you at night." Edward frowned but quickly smiled again I let a sigh out.

"Nathan…." I spoke and walked towards them. "Nate this is you're daddy!" I said with pride Nate smiled and in a second he had his small arms wrapped around Edwards stone neck. Edward wrapped his arms around his son and kissed his head.

And I could feel the tears come and I swear my heart would blow.

**Edwards POV**

There he was the son I never knew I could have there standing right next to the love of my life was the dream I always had but died one hundred years ago the second the venom touched my blood that dream died but there he was before my eyes if there was any doubt left in me it had all vanished that little boy looked like a perfect mixture of His mother and I. he was so beautiful and he was mine that was my son I couldn't get enough of saying that he was mine!

He was perfect and he came from my Bella he was the symbol of the loved we shared our love was so powerful it beat the odds.

When I wrapped my son in my arms I felt whole I felt a spark In me and then he whispered something in my ear. "I knew you'd come……." I kissed his forehead and for the first time in so many months I felt whole like nothing could end like time almost stood still for this single moment.

**Bella's POV.**

Every thing was perfect and how it should be until………

"BELLA!" I heard a voice in panic pounding on my door it was Jacob. I froze and my heart fell to my stomach.


	23. Good bye my dear

Title:

Forgiving Pain.

**Author: twilight lover **731

**Rating: **T

**Warning: Some slight bad grammer am sorry about that am looking for a beta at the moment. so just bare with me **

**Genre: **Romance/Drama

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. Its all SM's. I'M just a twilight lover who didn't want to see the story end!

**Author's note: Ok all of you who wanted Jacob gone here's the chapter for you! ;) hope you all enjoy. **

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Chapter song- Colplay- fix you.

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Special shoutout to- Edwardish for always having nice things to say about my chapter's hope you enjoy the chapter.

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Bella's POV

I gulped and felt a little bead of sweat form on the back of my neck, wait when did the room start spinning I thought, I felt my knees shake as I eyed Edward, He stiffened and lifted Nathan off the ground and cradled him protectively in his arms as if to keep him from harm.

I couldn't move for what seemed like forever I just stared into Edwards's eyes I felt as if my feet had been mounted to the floor with monkey glue.

I realized I needed to get the door sooner or later so I slowly lifted each of my feet off the ground as if any sudden move the world would blow and come crashing on us, in a few strides I made my way towards the door trying not to fall that wouldn't help the situation at all if I fell and broke a bone. Jacob banged on the door again causing the walls to shake, I griped the doorknob that felt as if it burned my skin and turned the knob and found Jacob standing there watching his guard he sighed when he saw me and threw his arms around me; I stiffened.

"Thank god!" he sighed as he placed a kiss on my lips I stood still. "Bella we have to pack you and Nathan up and get out of here!" he ordered in a panic. "Why?" I asked trying to gain myself back in control before my voice gave everything away. He grabbed the sides of my face I stared into is panicked eyes feeling his warm breath hit my face "There back Bella the Cullen's are back ALL OF THE!" he added more anger when he replied all of the clearly meaning Edward I opened my mouth to speak but I couldn't and that's were I knew It was all going to end,

"Hello Jacob." I heard Edward speak and step beside me. I heard something a never heard before come from my friend I deep growl emerged out of Jacobs's chest and in a second he flung me towards him before Edward could react I was pressed against the side of Jacobs body protectively I could feel his heat radiating off him and his body shaking.

"Jake Stop!" I screamed "Let her go!" Edward demanded, Jacob growled once more "Shut the fuck up leech!" he hissed venom coated every word Edward stepped forward. "What is he doing here Bella!" Jacob screamed betrayal in his voice aiming towards me even while he was trying to keep his voice even for Nathan. "MOMMY" Nathan screamed Edward griped on to Nathan, holding him back from Jacob. "Jacob let her go!" he asked my calmly "please." He begged for me. I griped on to Jacob when I felt as if I was slipping I could feel the tears burn at the brim of my eyes. "Jacob let me go!" I begged. "No Bella tell him to go!" Jacob demanded.

"No Jacob!" I cried. Edward hissed and stepped forwards setting Nathan in the house and shutting the door. "Jacob I don't want to hurt you!" Edward shouted. Jacob moved a step back and growled his lip curling over his teeth. "Tell him Bella…… Make him go tell him you're marrying me!" Jacob yelled I felt my stomach churn Edwards face dropped as he stared at me. "Bella…" he looked at me. Jacob held onto my tighter. I tried pulling out.

"She wasn't going to wait forever bloodsucker!" Jacob laughed. Edward frowned and stepped back. "No Edward no, Jacob stop!" I cried trying to claw at his arms it didn't effect me. "Oww Jacob!" I screamed out in pain when he held down tighter and was crushing my ribs, Edwards face hardened and he jumped forward. "Let her go!" he hissed Jacob jumped down from the second story over the bars that kept people from falling.

I screeched as he jumped and landed onto the concrete ground Edward Followed. "Bella tell him I need to talk to you and leave us be!" Jacob whispered in my ear sounding like his old self, I nodded. "Edward go back with the baby I need to……talk to Jake for a sec.." I gulped back tears Edward didn't budge "Please…Nathan can't be alone." I cried He finally nodded and stepped back. "Hurt her and I'll kill you!" Edward threatened Jacob growled. "Why you already did that for me!" Jacob hissed Edward flinched and in a second was on the ground in pain. "NO!" I screeched I slipped out of Jacobs grasps, Edward looked as if he was burning in pain; I ran to him and held his head in my arms. "Edward!" I cried in horror as I watched him, I looked up at Jacob with my face stained with tears he was smiling. "STOP please!" I begged and in a second Edward was ok he stood up and pulled me with him wrapping his arms around my waist.

"I think its best you leave Jacob!" Edward hissed holding back a hiss. Jacob grinned "I don't appreciate you holding my soon to be wife like that!" I flinched Edward tightened his grasp around me. "Bella." Jacob whispered I looked up at him his eyes showed pain. "Jake.." I whispered. He reached out his hand for me to grab.

I pulled away from Edward. "Bella," Edward begged wanting me to stay, "Go inside please." I demanded not looking at him just stepping forwards towards Jacob.

I didn't see but Edward disappeared back up and then I heard a door slam.

Jake's face went soft as he watched me come closer "Bella what…..Bella I don't understand…." He whispered I looked up at the sky hoping the tears wouldn't come, "Jacob I'm so sorry." I cried finally making it to him he wrapped his arms around me I hugged him back,

He placed his big warm hand on my cheek and caressed it I knew this was it "I understand now Bella you loved him first I was just the stupid the back up plan." He spoke his tone almost harsh. "No Jacob it wasn't lik—"he cut me off. "Shh…..Bella it was always him and I can't stand in the way of that." He spoke softly rubbing his fingers under my eyes trying to wipe the tears away. "And I won't stand in the way of the love you have for him Bella I know you love him I had to watch the pain you went threw all those months without him I get it!" I shuddered at the thought of all those many months.

He slowly closed his eyes and kissed my forehead and I knew he was leaving. _And I couldn't stop the gloom that engulfed me as I realized I didn't know how long I would have to wait before I saw him again _and that killed me because I truly did love Jacob just not the way he loved me.

He pulled away and stepped back I wrapped my arms around my self trying to keep this new heart ace in place, "I'll always love you Bella just remember that please." He begged with a slight smile I nodded. "I love you to Jacob." His face hardened.

"Good Bye Bella." he spoke and then turned and ran into the trees, I stood there and watched his body shake until a brown russet wolf disappeared into the morning sky, I dropped my head "Good by Jake." I cried.

I stood there for a few second trying to get myself together but I couldn't I just stared at the empty little spot of the forest were Jacob stood merely minutes ago.

I shook my head trying to rid of the memories that would haunt me forever and finally turned to go back inside I took each step to my door slowly but then faster remembering my Edward was up there with my son. I threw the door open and saw him standing there waiting for me he was about to speak but I threw my arms around him and kissed him.

I pulled away to get air and he was smiling Jacob left because he knew I loved him and just so Jacobs decisions didn't go to waste I was going to love Edward I'd think of the guilt later, right now I just wanted to love him, "I love you Edward…." I whispered and leaned into his chest inhaling his sweet scent letting it fill my brain.

He lifted my chin and looked into my eyes. "I love you to Bella always and forever!" he kissed my once more, "MOMMMMMMMYYYYYY!" I heard and excited boy cry I pulled away and lifted Nate in my arms.

"Hello baby." I kissed his cheek over and over till he giggled. "Stop I'm going to pee!" he cried. I laughed as did Edward. Nate placed his hand on my cheek showing me Images of Jacob wanting to know where he was.

"Later Nate." I explained he nodded. "Momma Daddy said I have another grandma and grandpa and aunties and uncles." He explained I looked up at Edward and smiled, I loved the way Nate said Daddy.

"He did now." He nodded. "Uhh uh can I see them please please please!" he begged over and over. "I'm sure you already have Nate." I explained commenting on his gift. "Doesn't count mom!" he explained in his little adult voice I laughed. I looked back at Edward. "Of coarse he can!" Edward laughed. I set the baby down. "Go get dressed!" I ordered he giggled and ran to his room.

I turned back to Edward. "Promise me forever Edward." I asked playing with the collar of his light blue shirt he grabbed my hands and kissed each of them, "I promise." He sighed smelling my wrist and closing his eyes. I pulled away quickly he looked at me with confusion.

"Ok now I can go get dressed..." I laughed he laughed along. God I missed him. I hugged him one more time to afraid to leave without him. He hugged me right back clearly for the same reasons.

"Come on Miss Swan we must get you dressed" he ordered I laughed and nodded playfully saluting he laughed and raised a brow, and grabbed my hand walking with me to get dressed never leaving my side.

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**Ok so there was some slight fluff in this chapter but not allot. and hey what do you know no cliff hangers. hope you enjoyed. **


	24. The reunion

**Title: **Forgiving Pain.

**Author: twilight lover **731

**Rating: **T

**Warning: **Some slight bad grammar.

**Genre: **Romance/Drama

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. Its all SM's. I'M just a twilight lover who didn't want to see the story end!

**Author's note: I'm sorry it's taken me forever to update School has been so crazy and I had a slight writers block . **

**Special thanks to- To all you guys who read I'm almost at 200 review i remember when all i had was six lol thanks so much for making my story a hit. love you all!**

Bella's POV.

I had gotten dressed as quickly as I could manage, I was terribly excited to see the rest of the Cullen's who returned I missed Esme's warm smile and motherly love dearly and of coarse all of the rest, I missed Emmet's bear hugs, and Carlisle's soothing voice, I even missed Rosalie's snooty faces, and I missed Jasper as well we had gained a bond when he was protecting me while I was running from James and I didn't want that mistake of a birthday that seemed so long ago to ruin it all, But most of all I wanted them to all meet Edwards son; our son.

My mind wondered as I slipped on the royal blue t-shirt I bought a while back I felt a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach and it was a feeling for the one person I never expected to feel for. I was worried about Rosalie, on how she would take this? I felt like I had taken the two most things she ever wanted, example A. I was human, and B. I was able to have I child. Two things I never wanted in the first exact place I wanted to be immortal and I never wanted children I felt as if I had slapped her in the face she'd hate me even more.

I don't know why I cared about what she thought we disliked each other, but I guess part of me knew I wasn't that kind of person to be like that and to be honest with myself I did care a lot! Rosalie wanted a baby more then anything in this whole entire world and she would do anything to get one even if it meant giving up the love of her life that's all she wanted, and I felt as if I took it.

I never understood the need Esme and Rosalie had for a child till the moment I first felt my son kick inside of me, the second I felt him I had the same longing and when I knew there was a possibility I could lose him I was sick with fear even as he bruised me and broke my ribs I loved him more then anything.

I quickly snapped myself from my thoughts knowing if I kept going on I'd be in my bathroom for hours! once I was finally threw I walked to my bathroom door taking a small glance at myself in the large mirror worried on how I looked I sighed and I opened the door to find Edward with Nathan on his lap they were sitting on my bed; looking more like a statue of Havens angels then my son and well Edward. Nathan had his hands on Edwards's face clearly telling him a story I tried not to interrupt them while walking to my dresser to pull out a sweatshirt, I settled for the simple grey one with a hood, I pulled it over my head and then looked at my boys. "Mommy" I heard my name I sighed and looked at my son, he had his arms stretched out clearly wanting me to carry him, and I glided over and pulled him up with a moan.

"You're getting too heavy for momma" I laughed tickling his belly he giggled. "You look beautiful…" Edward sighed and kissed my head I rolled my eyes. He chuckled, "Still as arrogate as always" he sighed clearly talking mostly to himself, I laughed and hugged him back, "Damn right!" I giggled

"Ready?" he asked staring at both of us, I nodded and pushed my hair away from my face and lifted Nate higher so he wouldn't slip, he wrapped his arms around my neck and placed his warm cheek on the bare of my neck.

Edward grabbed my hand and we walked down the stairs to the parking lot and who happened to be there waiting for us, the little pixie herself, he smiled. "Alice." Edward spoke. "Edward." Alice spoke back and ran to me and embraced me in a hug. "Hello Bella.." her angel like voice greeted, "Alice what are you doing here?" I asked while bouncing Nathan in my arms I'd done it so many times it became a habit; she smiled and rubbed Nate's back.

"Just picking you guys up…. Esme is so thrilled to see you guys!" Alice beamed I smiled she lead us to her Yellow car and unlocked it. Edward Grabbed Nate from me and let me step inside and then passed me Nathan he smiled when he caught eye of Alice. "Hi Ally!" Nathan beamed and let out a giggle he always had a giggle when he was happy; it was my most favorite sound in the world! "Hi baby boy!" Alice laughed as she stepped behind the wheel Nathan and I buckled up in the back seat as Edward sat in the passenger seat.

The whole ride Nathan asked all kinds of questions that Edward and Alice we're happy to answer each and every one of them, I sat there quietly trapped in my own thoughts trying to think of what everyone will think do they believe Nate belongs to Edward? Would they accept him? Of coarse they would they had too they were good people they just had too.

"Were here." Edward spoke to me for the first time I smiled at him and unbuckled myself and Nathan. I grabbed him and Edward helped us out of the car, Alice was already inside and we were the only two outside.

"You ready?" Edward asked, I nodded and gulped back the fear I had I could feel the butterflies in my stomach it felt like it was the first day when he wanted me to meet his family, he grinned and grabbed my hand, I tried not to remember the last time I was here those memories I wanted to forget forever they were in the past and that's were they needed to stay.

We walked up to the door and Edward opened it and let me step in first he followed his hand on the bottom of my back rubbing soothing circles memories flooding back to my brain I heard a ringing in my ears it all came rushing smacking me like a ton of bricks, I remembered it all the feeling of Edward slamming into my chest pushing me away the sound of the shattering class the burn in my arms the terrible roar! I felt a shutter speed down my spine I tried to breathe even.

"Calm down…." I felt Edwards breath hit my ear as he whispered I shuddered and he kissed under my ear, I sighed. Edward grabbed Nate from my arms holding him closely.

"Bella!" I heard Esme sigh in happiness I watched her approach me and wrap her arms around me trying to be gentle and kissing my cheek. "Oh my Bella I've missed you dearly!" I felt tears of joy at the brim of my eyes. "I've missed you so much!" I replied hugging her back, she released me and I was quickly wrapped in a different set of arms; Carlisle.

"Bella!" he spoke his voice like bells, "I've missed you!" I sighed and hugged back "As have I dear Bella." he replied in his wise tone grasping me in his arms then releasing me I stepped back towards Edward he grabbed my hand and set Nate on the floor, Nate stepped behind my leg to shy to look up.

I heard a crash and someone scream at Emmet I hid a laugh. "Sister!" I heard a scream and trampling down the stairs and in a second I was flung in the big arms of Emmet he ruffled my hair and laughed giving me a bear hug.

"Emmet!" I cheered hugging him I had missed him dearly, "Emmet don't crush her!" Esme giggled putting her hand over her mouth the muffle the laugh and Carlisle joined in his angel like laugh was to be heard.

Emmet set me on the ground. "I missed ya kid!" he playfully punched me I felt the blush creep up my cheek, "YES!!!" he roared. "My fav part about my human sis!" he laughed. "Emmet quite down!" I heard a soft hiss and then stepped right in front of me was the beautiful goddess like Rosalie she had a serious face and my smile faded Edward hissed something under his voice but they all stepped back Nate still hid behind my legs I gulped as her lips parted to speak.

But I was shocked I felt my throat tighten when she stepped forward and wrapped her stone arms around me.

"It's good to see you Bella…." she whispered and peaked my cheek before steeping close to Emmet once again. I was shocked I couldn't move I turned my head to Edward and he just nodded I look back at the beautiful Rose. "It's great to see you as well Rose….." I replied she smiled it was weird to have her smile but it was going to take some getting used to but I liked it, It was nice knowing she didn't hate me well dislike me at least..

And then I heard the last two of the Cullen's creep down the stairs everyone turned there heads to Watch Alice guide jasper down the staircase Edward stepped by me wrapping his hands around my waist protectively I smiled when I saw Japer he caught eye contact with me and gulped I knew he was afraid we didn't have the best of farewells.

The room stepped aside as Alice and Jasper made there entrance the stopped in the middle of the floor.

"Bella." Jaspers soothing voice spoke. "Jasper…" I smiled I wasn't afraid and Jasper could feel it I knew he could when he grinned.

He shouldn't feel guilty it wasn't his fault what happened it was me I was the stupid one who didn't watch what I was doing I had to bleed all over the place.

"You're not afraid?" he asked more surprised then I wish he was I nodded no. "Never Jasper" I whispered "It wasn't you're fault…." I added and walked up I wrapped my arms around him he froze. "Bella" Edward whispered I looked at him "He won't hurt me" I whispered back "You're stronger then that" I said to Jasper he nodded and hugged me, "I missed you little sister" I smiled "I missed you to brother." I had gained such a close bond with him he didn't realize he was like my brother ever since he had to protect me from James the tracker I thought of him as my brother.

I stepped back and Edward grabbed my hand smiling. "Everyone." Edward grinned he was going to tell them about Nate I felt my airway hitch for a moment not sure what would happen after this, I turned and grabbed Nathans arm pulling him forward he smiled I smiled back.

"I'd like you to meet Bella's son…" they gasped "My son!" he spoke proudly I heard 'how could this be?' and "Imposable!' About five times taking its turn coming out of all there mouths.

"Edward how can this be!" Rose hissed there went the love, I thought.

"Edward are you sure?" Asked Emmet and Jasper. Alice just stood there she knew it was true and I stood there quietly waiting for it to all soak in, I kinda adjusted my body so it was somewhat hiding behind Edward he pushed me forward and wrapped his arms around me.

Everyone was more confused then I thought they could, but Esme had stayed quite just looking at Nate's face she had an adoration in her eyes one only a mother could have the one I had looking at my son for the first time.

Esme stepped forward and leaned down so she at level with Nathan he smiled "Hello." He said polity, "Hello little one!" she smiled everyone went silent.

Esme stroked her finger down Nathans cheek he smiled his beautiful smile.

"He has your eyes!" Esme commented looking up at me, I smiled she looked him over once more.

"He had Edwards features…" she said speaking mostly to herself while she studied him I looked up at Edward he had a proud smile on his perfect face. "Are you sure Esme?" Rosalie asked "Of corse I know my son!" she replied "I mean that little squirt just screams Edward! He even has the bed head like the ol Ed man has!" Emmet teased I giggled.

"What's you're name sweetie?" Esme asked Nate looked at me with look of confuse on his face wanting to know if it was safe to ask "Go ahead" I replied he smiled he loved telling people his name it meant so much to him.

"Nathan Edward Cullen!" he replied with pride Esme laughed, "It has to Be Edwards son!" Carlisle commented. "Yes the little boy smells of human and Vampire." Jasper added "But how?" Rose asked.

"Rose let them Sit to explain!" Esme scowled Rose nodded keeping an eye on my son "May I?" Esme asked with her arms out. "Of coarse" I replied with a smile she lifted Nate in her arms lead us to the couch.

And that whole day I sat in the warmth of the place I use to call home explain everything that happened in the whole two year of my life that was away from them, even my gory birth…. And they just sat and listened, Nathan was excited to show them his gift he loved getting to show it as much as he could, at some point Rose took Nate outside and cradled him and cooed him and just adored him and I didn't stop her she could I wasn't going to take that from her.

I felt whole laying in Edwards arms my family was back and everything was back to how it should have always been us against the world and that how I wanted it to stay forever and always never to change at least I hope it wouldn't

**Authors note- Sorry this chapter wasn't my fav at all I was just trying to update as soon as I could trust me the next will be much better a nice long one for you all. This story is far from over I still have a few more chapters in me so please don't give up on me yet! Thanks again. **


	25. Embrace The Martian

Title:

Forgiving Pain.

**Author: twilight lover **731

**Rating: **T

**Warning: OK lets just face it I SUCK at grammar so we all know there's some slight slight bad grammar LOL I'm sorry about that I'm working on it, looking for a beta at the moment. so just bare with me :) **

**Genre: **Romance/Drama

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. Its all SM's. I'M just a twilight lover who didn't want to see the story end!

**Author's note: Well Sorry it took me a while but hope it Helps that its a extra long chapter for you all. And I just want to dedicate this to all who reads my story you have all gave me such great reveiws I couldn't have asked for nicer veiwers it means a ton I try to reply as much as i can thank you so much. Hope you enjoy this! Because maybe five more chapters and this story will come to and end (*sniff*) **

**Chapter song- ** Embrace The Martian KID CuDi. Love the song and thought it fit for the big meeting.

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Embrace the Martian

The day had been long and tiring, explaining things felt like a rerun of memories and flashbacks but I didn't mind retelling my story it felt nice and I wanted Edward to know everything every little detail right down to what I did at night when he was gone. He smiled at every happy memory and squeezed his arms around my waist at every sad one, he kissed my head about every five minutes and I kept my hands tangled in his.

Before I knew it we had been talking till midnight, I noticed Nathan was asleep in Roses arms he looked so cute curled up in a little ball his fingers holding onto her hair and his cheeks all rosy she softly hummed to him, I knew that she wanted that so much she wanted a baby and I'd let her have a moment with Nathan I'd let her have as many as she wanted.

"We should probably get him home..." I let out a sigh sitting up and stretching my arms were stiff from sitting all day, Roses head snapped up "Oh He's asleep don't move him…. Please" her voice somewhat calm and a cross of begging I looked at Edward to see what he thought.

"You should stay here for the night its late lets not move him." Edward stated Rose smiled with thankfulness I smiled too "Ok." I said and laid my head on his chest again I watched Emmet help rose take Nate upstairs to there bedroom were he would stay for the night.

I didn't realize how tired I was till slowly felt my lids droop I tried my hardest to keep them up but not fully succeeding. "Edward take pour Bella up to you're room to sleep she's practically dead" Esme scowled I snuggled closer to him inhaling his scent "I'm fine" I sighed I felt his chest shake as he chuckled "Come on..." he whispered and lifted me in his arms and slowly walked up stairs.

I heard the door click open and we entered his room with the big window it brought back a lot of memories from before. He set me on the ground and walked into his closet I walked up to the window and looked out side at the moon I felt like I was seventeen again, yes it wasn't that long ago but it felt like a century ago I remember this was were he first made love to me I was so nerves and scared but it all turned out ok it was one of the best nights of my life one I will never forget for as long as I live.

It was all so new and it was scary at the thought that he was going to show his love to me that we both were about to show how much love we had for one another, now that I thought of it I was so young and in a way so was he I remember the strange feeling in the pit of my stomach I had wanted it for s long but that fact that we were going to do it felt so weird but I wouldn't change those feelings for anything. It's kinda funny how never in a million years we thought we could have a baby to us it was a innocent act of showing love we never thought we could get anything out of it, but we did we got a son.

I smiled at the memories.

"Here you can put this on." He replied placing and old shirt in my hands I smiled at him and walked to his bathroom shutting the door and quickly striping into the old blue button down shirt of his, I folded my clothes and set them on the chair in the bathroom I pulled my hair out of its ponytail and let it sway down my back rubbing my fingers on my scalp, I finally stepped out of his bathroom and walked to his bed.

I sighed and crawled onto the soft white bed I felt my bare knees slid on to the cool cotton bed cover, I then straightened up sitting Indian style on the soft bed it felt as if it had been made of feathers.

Edward was already sitting on the bed shirtless his legs hanging over the side and back pressed against the head board eyes closed humming softly to himself I wanted to touch him so badly but to afraid he'd disappear so I just stared at him not wanting to look away! He opened his eyes softly and smiled at me.

"Come here!" he scolded I laughed and he grabbed my arms and dragged me to him, I laid on him my head on his cold chest inhaling his scent as my bare legs curled up on the bed. He rubbed his cool fingers on my skin up and down my leg, I felt Goosebumps rise were his fingers dragged I closed my eyes and listened to him breath.

I could lay here forever in his arms in this dark little room with nothing but the light of the stars and sound of his breathing, I felt as if I was in a dream and if I was I wish I'd never wake up.

"What happens now?" I asked breaking the silence lifting my chin up so it was laying upright on his chest he smiled "Were do we go from now?" I asked he kissed my head. "Well…" he sighed closing his eyes again I looked at him fully awake now waiting for my answer "Well we could get married…" he sighed opening one eye to look at me, a smile spread across my face "I'd like that" I whispered he smiled "So would I." he replied we sat in the quite for a second I had another question ready at the edge of my tongue I finally let it spill. "What if we had another baby?" I questioned I knew I was crazy for even offering it since I almost died the last time but the more I thought about it the more I wanted it the more I wanted to have one with Edward at my side were he could be with me the whole time and it would be nice for Nathan to have a sibling someone just like him.

"We could do that.." he replied but I could hear the disapproval in his tone I'd hope he'd change his mind if I could live threw it once I could fully do it again with him by my side.

"What about me….being you know……like you?" I said both his eyes opened this time and just like two years ago he had the same disapproving look in his eyes like before, "Before you say anything I had you're son and if we get married I'm not going to keep growing old I refuse to!" I demanded he chuckled and with his cool fingers smoothed the crease between my forehead.

"When we get married I will change you" he said in a serious tone "Promise?" I begged he nodded "I promise!" he replied and kissed my nose; I smiled and kissed his chest and laid my head back down.

"What was it like?" he asked me. I looked up again at him, his face serious once again hard eyes looking at me," What?" I asked. "Carrying my child a half immortal child?" he asked eyeing me carefully. I smiled and laid my head back down, I remembered all the bruises all the pain all the broken ribs and what not I shivered "It was hard and very painful…." I went on closing my eyes. "He was such a strong baby he broke a few of my ribs." I sighed he shuddered. "But I didn't mind I wouldn't trade it for all the money in the world nothing would make me take it back!" I sighed. He shifted I looked up he grabbed my chin. "Why?" he asked I knew what he meant.

"Because I had a little you in me!" I stated like it was the most oblivious thing in the world "But you believed I didn't love you, you believed all that I told in the forest and yet you still wanted my child." He added with a look of disgust for himself. "I was carrying YOUR child! A little piece of you. The only thing I had left the only thing that kept me living!" I smiled at the thought of finding out I was pregnant I felt little tears sting the brim of my eyes. "The only thing that kept my heart beating the only thing that helped the pain as each tick of the clock threatened to kill me our son saved me, your son saved me" I replied His face looked pained and then in a second he had his lips pressed to mine and he kissed me with hunger I kissed back he pressed me to the soft bed wrapping his arms around my torso I placed my fingers in his hair I could feel the electricity shock go threw me.

He pulled away nothing was to be heard but our breathing slowly kissed down my neck and then leaned down and lifted my shirt I felt his cold hand rub against my scar I had, from the birth of my son. my mom told me it was like a battle scar I closed my eyes I hated it, it was an ugly old thing that I wish would disappear. He knew me to well he couldn't hear my thoughts but he knew what went on in my head, he bent down and kissed it. "Thank you" he whispered I felt a tear stork down my cheek. He came back up and replaced me so I was laying on his chest again I wrapped my arms around him and stared at the moon through the open window. "I love you" I whispered as I placed my lips to his chest. No matter how much I said it no matter how much love I placed in those words nothing could ever show the amount of love I had for this man! "And I adore you Bella Swan!" he whispered and kissed my hair I closed my eyes feeling the breeze of the opened window hit my face he wrapped a blanket around my legs and continued to trace my legs from my foot to my thigh.

I soon fell asleep to the sound of my all too faithful lullaby dreaming sweet dreams never to be separated from him.

The next morning I woke up alone my legs tangled in the white sheets I could hear Nate's laughter coming from downstairs. I looked at the door and it was slightly opened that's probably why I could hear downstairs so well I slowly sat up wincing the light from the sun shining threw the windows were too bright, I focused my view at the foot of the bed and laying on there was a clean fresh yellow t-shirt and jeans they still had there tags on it and only one name went through my head 'Alice' I laughed as slid myself off the bed and grabbed the outfit, I almost tripped on my own feet while walked into the bathroom typical me I thought.

I Quickly changed out of Edwards shirt and slid the jeans over my legs and pulled the shirt over my head, I then turned to the mirror and worked my fingers threw my tangled hair, once I was presentable I walked downstairs to find everyone in the living room laughing Clearly amused by Nathan's personality.

"He's so adorable.." Alice gushed as she squeezed his chubby cheek.

"Mommy" Nate pointed making everyone stair at me, I felt my face get hot. He as dressed in a pair of shorts and a light blue t-shirt I'd never seen in my life Alice again of coarse, "I told you she's look beautiful in Yellow!" she said as she stuck her tongue out at Rose; Rose rolled her eyes and went back to watching Edward play with Nathan.

"Hello love." Edward said with a simple smile and placed a kiss on my lips as I sat down I smiled, "So when do I get to start planning a wedding?" Alice beamed I looked at Edward he laughed I giggled at Alice's happiness, "Alice they just Barley got back together give it some time!" Esme laughed as her and Jasper looked threw old books that were in a box; clearly ones they left behind in there tragic move. Edward answered Alice's question "As soon as Bella says the word" I laughed "I'd marry you tonight if I could!" and placed my hand in his he looked into my eyes with a smile he always made me feel like he was staring into my soul when he did this and I loved looking into his honey eyes I felt I could see his soul too. "Aren't your parents adorable Nathan" Rose giggled as Emmet lifted Nate up and spun him around he laughed. "YAY so it's set I can start planning Bella you'll be the most beautiful bride ever!" she squealed I swear she looked as if she break into a dance.

I cuddled into Edwards embrace. "So you'll marry me?" he asked "Haven't we established that I've been wanting to marry you since the day we meet?" I replied in a stern voice he laughed and kissed me. "Eww get a room!" Emmet roared and threw a pillow at us I suppressed a giggle I heard Edward chuckle "Um Em dear I think the last time you told them to get a room we got this little guy" she pointed to Nate I blushed "Rosalie!" Esme laughed Edward threw the pillow back at Emmet he ducked "Ha missed me It's true though!" Emmet replied like he was a child stating the truth. I buried my head into Edward's chest feeling the heat burn my cheeks.

"Where's Carlisle?" I asked Edward looking back up at him noticing Carlisle wasn't in the room "He's upstairs taking with some old friends on the phone they called with some news." He replied with a sigh, I nodded telling there was something wrong with they way everyone stared at me when I asked and in the sound of Edwards voice i let myself think about this for a few moments before I repressed them in the back of my mind.

"Come on!" he sighed breaking the silence as he pulled me up with him I looked at him confuse crossed my face "Were we going?" I asked "To see you're father I have to ask for you're hand properly…and let him know that I'm back to take care of you" he stated leading me towards the door my stomach dropped and I felt my heart beat faster. "No we can't!" I cried he didn't stop "It will be fine" he replied leading me out into the cold air I felt the room spin "What about Nate?" I asked trying to stall he still pulled me out the door. "Bella he's going to stay with my Family it will be fine!" he said sternly. Nothing was going to stop him from this he may not be afraid but I was scared to death "Edward he knows!" I shouted turning my face to the ground ashamed that I had told his secret Edward stopped in his tracks "What?" he turned to look at me with out any sign of anger on his face.

"I told him before I had Nathan he knows everything Edward" I replied in a sorry tone "Well this will be interesting then" he replied with a smile my eyes widened he drug me to the car and buckled me in.

I griped my seat the whole way, I had a feeling as if I'd vomit any second and that was the last thing I needed I stared at my fingers as my knuckles turned white from my grip to the seat I tried to take deep breaths but they kept getting stuck in my throat, I knew my father hated Edward and this wasn't going to end good I just knew it, Edward tried soothing me by rubbing his hand down my arm and telling me over and over that it would all be fine and that nothing would happen but I knew he wasn't even sure how this would end and I mean it's not like my father could hurt him but that's not the point.

After it seemed to take forever we finally pulled in to the all to familiar house, His car was there parked in the drive and the kitchen light was on, suddenly I felt like a weighed 1000 pounds I couldn't seem to move myself .

"Well here we go." He stated with a sigh I looked at him with wide eyes he stepped out of the car. I unbuckled myself with shaky hands and Edward opened my door and helped me step out the cool breeze hit my face and I suddenly felt somewhat better. Each step felt like I was on my way to a death sentence and I should just run while I still had a chance but the other half of me knew why I was here and it needed to be done my father had to know!.

We got to the steps and I rung the doorbell. "Step to the side please." I told Edward he didn't move "Please." I begged he nodded and moved out of view "Let me talk to him first." I instructed he nodded. I heard the door unlock and then pull open. "Bell's!" my Dad greeted and pulled me in his arms. "Hi daddy." I replied.

"Were have you been I've been trying to call you!" he scowled with disapproval "I've been around just visiting old friends." I sighed he looked to my side "Where's Nate?" he questioned I could hear he was upset I hadn't brought him. "Um I left him with a sitter I needed to talk to you." I stated he raised a brow "Well come inside from the rain." I nodded and took one look at Edward who was out of view and gave him a look to give him a minute he gave me a stern nod.

Charlie lead me to the kitchen and sat me in the old chair at the table I sat at more times then I could count it was weird being here talking to him knowing I wouldn't go upstairs to my room and part of my couldn't remember why I left this place in the first place but of coarse I knew it was to repress the memories.

"So what's up Bells?" he asked while pouring each of us a glass of water then sitting down.

"Um dad……Um." I bit my lip not quite able to speak words were stuck in my throat. "Bella it's not that bad!" he replied I felt a cold bead of sweat form on my head and I slowly brushed it away he looked at my face to see if he could catch a clue of what I was about to say apparently he could find anything when he looked back at his glass of water.

"Bella whatever it is you can—" I cut him off. "There back!" I nearly shouted he face looked as if he'd seen a ghost and then it just turned red he stood from the table. "He has a lot of nerve to come around here!" he shouted while throwing his cup in the sink I heard it shatter. "Dad." He looked at me "Has he seen you yet does he know about Nathan?" he demanded I nodded yes.

"Fuck Bella! I don't want you around him! He's bad news he left you here Bella pregnant alone and broken!" he screamed he tried to regain his head but wasn't successful he stayed the deep red color he was furious.

I felt the hot tears come to my eyes and I stood up. "Dad its all in the past I forgave him dad I love him!" he smacked his hands into the cupboard. "Bella how! How! Did you just forget the past Fucking years?" he yelled my father never spoke to me like this and truth be told I was shocked.

"Dad—"he cut me off

"Bella did you not see yourself did you not hear yourself? Your mother and I were scared to death that one of us would walk up the stairs and find you dead Isabella! Do you not remember!" he screamed. I shuddered at the memories those were something I'd never forget but had to get over.

"Bella do you not remember all the nights you'd wake up screaming you didn't know this but I'd sleep by your door almost every night waiting for the next scream!" I felt the tears come out more I knew my father had to go through so much more then he ever needed to.

"I know dad you were there for me and I could never thank you enough!" I replied with a sob "But Edward and I can't be away from each other it wasn't possible! Were like the same person." I spoke softly while placing my hand to my heart.

"Then why did he leave? Huh why would he leave you!?" he questioned "to protect me from what he was!" I replied dully, My father rolled his eyes "Why couldn't you just love something normal Bella!" he shouted looking away from me turning his back on me. "Because if you knew me you'd know I never was normal!" I replied like it was a fact "Stupid excuse!" he replied.

I stepped closer to him and placed my hand on his shoulder he brushed it off I ignored the fact that it broke my heart but I was breaking his so it was only fair. "I love him dad and nothing and no one will ever change that not you not Jacob no one!" I replied "Then you should go now!" he hissed I nodded he never looked at me again till the doorbell rang I stiffened "No" I whispered he quickly turned like he'd been shocked.

"He's here isn't he!" my father screamed I ran to the door and beat him to it, I threw it open and pushed Edward back "no we have to go!" I shouted he grabbed my hands and wrapped his arms around me.

"I'm not sure if shooting you would harm you're kind but get your demon hands off my daughter!" I heard my father scream everything was blurry from the tears in my eyes, but from what I could tell he was right in front of us with his finger in Edwards face. "Stay away from her and my grandson and I suggest you leave forks!" he yelled and tried to pull me away "Dad NO!" I shouted Edward released his grip on me and a look of pain was in his eyes but he was fighting them back.

"You put her through hell!" my dad screamed Edward finally spoke up "I know Sir and I will never forgive myself but I love your daughter and I will forever that's why she's agreed to marry me!" Edward replied keeping his voice calm "To hell she will!" Charlie screamed "I am and you can't stop me!" I finally screamed "Bella…" Charlie replied like I disappointed him for the last time. I felt my heart drop

"You can either accept who I love or you can't!" I replied stepping back with Edward "I'm not going to accept that monster!" Charlie Hissed I flinched how dare he. "Then you can't except your grandson either because he's half of Edward!" I hissed venom dripping at every word; Edward squeezed my hand.

"Charlie—"my father gave Edward the Death glare "You shut the Hell up!" My dad demanded "He'll hurt you again Bella he will!" Charlie replied "I'd kill myself before I would ever hurt her again." Edward stated while leading me to the car.

"Well then Cullen you better get the suicide note Ready!" I flinched at the words

"Goodbye Charlie…" I whispered I knew he could hear me as I stepped inside the Volvo Edward slammed the door shut, I took one last look at my father his face was hard and cold like he was a cold statue he looked more like the monster but I knew he felt like I betrayed him and in a way I did, But I noticed barred deep in his face I could see pain the pain I inflicted on him I was hurting him and I never meant too that wasn't my intention.

Edward stepped in the car and started the engine "It will all be ok." He whispered I nodded and watched the tear slip from my cheek "no it wont did you see his face I hurt him! He's going to hate me forever." I whispered shaking my head as if the memories of his hurt face would fall out; they didn't.

I was right this wasn't going to end well it ended badly every badly.

* * *

So what do you all think of the meeting between Charlie and Edward? Humm im not sure its one of my Fav chapters but it's ok. And theres a little fluff between Ol Eddi and Bella.

**Review? **


	26. Love, Life and Lies

Title:

Forgiving Pain.

**Author: twilight lover **731

**Rating: **T

**Warning: Yeah some bad grammar i suck...... Hope you still enjoy sorry about it.**

**Genre: **Romance/Drama

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. Its all SM's. I'M just a twilight lover who didn't want to see the story end!

**Author's note: I know, I know im so sorry i haven't updated in so long am horrible. It's just been really crazy but i plan on updated again very soon heres a nice long chapter. **

**Song for chapter- Little miss obsessive by Ashley simpson **

-The tears fall, they're so easy to wipe off onto my sleeve, but how do I erase the stain from my heart?

**Bella's POV.**

That wasn't what I wanted to happen but I guess things never happen like you wish they would, I learned that in the past years the way you'd wish things would turn out they never really seem to end up quite like your expectations you hoped for. I knew that now.

It had been a two weeks since my terrible meeting with Charlie he hadn't called and I failed to contact him, you could say it was a little childish to ignore him but I felt that's what I should do now after all he couldn't accept the fact that I loved Edward, No matter what Edward was! I don't know how I'd ever get my father to understand that I'd be with Edward all the time, because we loved each other he had to except that. If he didn't then there'd be no way for him to accept me.

I knew he also wouldn't like my resent decision to move in with Edward and the rest of the Cullen's. Edward and I were inseparable so what was the point of sleeping at my apartment and spending the day at his house, so we made an agreement I gave up my apartment and moved in with Edward. Alice was overjoyed with the fact she got to remodel a room for Nathan.

Everything was how it should be; like how it always should have been. Edward was with me and I was with Edward and nothing would make me happier.

I was sitting on the couch my knees to my chest paying attention to the TV in front of me I wasn't truly watching it just looking at it to keep my mind away from all my problems with my father. Edward was upstairs with Carlisle discussing some issue that came up and part of me thought I should feel afraid with the way Carlisle looked at Edward when he said "We need to talk" but I couldn't bring myself to be afraid. When I tried to feel what my brain tried telling me I just replied that it was my mind thinking to hard on the subject, there was nothing wrong.

I kept chanting this to myself but after a few moments I finally believed myself. Alice's breath hitched and her eyes rolled back into her mind; she was having a vision I watched her the whole time my chin on my knees. "Waiting for her to tell me when it was over "Bella…" She whispered "Yes?" I replied with curiosity, Alice's eyes darted to my face then at the stairs and back to my face like she was searching for something I was about to speak but before I could she darted up the stairs at the speed of life and I heard a door slam and some screams of anger.

I looked out the window and saw a storm brewing I could tell it was going to rain by the look of the trees raging back and forth, I felt a bead of sweat form in the back of my neck and my stomach did a 180 flip something was wrong I could feel it and I knew it wasn't my mind saying things I could tell by the look of Alice's face.

I contemplated this for a short time till the sound of laughter coming from the kitchen, Rose and Esme were Feeding Nate his dinner from what it was sounding like, I wonder if they knew what I was going on. I stood up stretching my legs they felt numb after sitting for a while in the same position. I walked to the kitchen to find them with Nate wiping his face from the cake they had feed him. It looked more like more got on his face then in his mouth.

"Hi momma." He giggled I bent down and kissed him "Hi Baby." I smiled and looked at Rose "Can we talk?" I asked in a whisper she looked at Esme then at me and nodded we exited the Kitchen and into the small hall that had photos stacked on the wall most of Nathan but the rest of shots taken over the years.

"What's up?" she asked playing it cool her face looked bone white in the dip lights of the hallway but still strikingly beautiful. I crossed my arms and looked at my feet, "Do you know what's going on?" I asking hoping she'd assure me that I was over reacting that it was all fine and things were ok that Edward would come down and we'd go back to normal and that my mind was playing tricks on me again.

She smiled "Every things fine there just talking business with the other Vampire clan up in Alaska." She assured. I looked closely trying to find a hint of lie in it but there was nothing there. I nodded as if I was stupid for letting my mind get the better of me. I smiled "Thanks" she nodded gave me a peak on the cheek and then went back to clean up the mess from Nate.

I noticed it was getting late so I lifted Nate from his seat and carried him up the stairs to his bedroom. I flicked the lights on and watched it dance off the light blue walls. I quickly changed him and laid him in his dark blue comforter and covered him up.

"I'm not tired.." he moaned as I gave him his stuffed wolf and he let out a huge yawn I let out a chuckle "Yes you are bunny." I replied and kissed his cheek he closed his eyes but not in the way to sleep in the way he did when he was looking into the future or whatever he was looking at, at the time. "You had a long day everyone will still be there when you wake up!" I stated his eyes snapped opened looking right into my with a piercing storm green color the color of the rain forest kind of green like a deep ocean green his eyes only turned that way when he saw something he didn't like "No they wont." He stated in his knowing tone I gulped back what he just said and really couldn't understand what he meant.

"Good night." I replied quickly giving him another kiss and shut the lights off and left the room before my mind broke into full force of thoughts, I felt another twist in my stomach and I knew that my mind wasn't playing with me I could feel it, like it was in the air I knew something was wrong I stood by the door of Carlisle office in hoping I could hear something but nothing was to be heard.

I slowly walked down stairs with my mind filled with thoughts wondering what my son meant and this strange feeling it was wrong not a feeling a liked I knew change was coming but what? What was changing?

**Edwards POV. **

Everything was how I hoped it would be, my son and Bella were with me all the time. Bella agreed to be my wife something I only dreamed of. Nothing could rip me from this happiness I was going to make Bella my wife in only a short time and we'd be together forever.

_Edward may I speak with you? _Carlisle had come down to tell me, I ripped myself from Bella gave her a kiss and told her I'd be right back. I found him in his study silently in his seat his hands folded on his lap and a blank stare in his eyes, something was wrong very wrong I thought to myself.

"Edward there something wrong..." he said calmly answering my thoughts. I raised a brow and listened as he replayed his conversation with the Daniele clan, the other Vampire family we stayed with in Alaska when I ran from Bella. I stood there in shock as I heard everything I couldn't process it into my mind this couldn't be happening I didn't want to believe it I couldn't.

"What should we do?" I asked in a lifeless voice staring at my fathers face in hope I wouldn't have to do what I knew I had to again I had to run, run for her safety. "Edward there coming we know that." He replied while rising up and pacing the room. "And they want Bella they think your son is and illegal creation and that Bella's it's maker so the Volturi are plotting on destroying her and the child." He said rambling on, I hissed at the thought there was no way in hell they were getting near my family!

In a second Alice was up in the room the door slamming behind her. "Edward!" she whispered with a dark light in her eyes the vision she'd seen all but almost knocked me to the ground. It was Bella and she, she was……..

**Vision**

"Please kill me…..take me……just don't hurt him!" Bella screamed and begged as Aro's blood red eyes danced with happiness as he watched me almost being ripped to shreds and at the sound of Bella's fatal shrieks. "Bella no!!!" I hissed in pain as Jane pushed her pain on me farther my body locked and I started losing my vision I knew the end was coming.

"I have to Edward he can't hurt you!" Bella cried Aro glided over and placed his hand on Bella's neck, "Very well what a waste." I tried to jump up "No!" I roared "I love you.." was the last thing heard from Bella before a crack came from her neck and Bella was lying dead at his feet lifeless and drained.

**Edwards POV.**

"She can't!" I nearly cried anger slowing growing over me! "That's what will happen if she finds out the truth, I've seen it! You have to do something we can't loose her again!" Alice nearly sobbed I nodded placing my hand on her small shoulder. "I…..I can't leave her again…I just got her back….." I replied with a dull tone fear and rage mixed with pain engulfed me. I couldn't hurt her again I promised this would kill her I can't lie not again.

"Not for a while my son for a few weeks the most…" Carlisle added trying to reassure me but clearly not being able. "We have to destroy them Edward before we can be happy our Enemies must be eliminated but till then are whole Family is in danger…after we have fought our battle then we can enjoy the prize..." Alice spoke sounding as wise as she truly was I nodded, she was right I had to make Bella and my son safe before I could be happy before I could make her my wife and be a true father to my son I had to make there world safe.

"How can I let Bella let me go?" I asked while placing my head in my hands, "You must do something Edward we have about three days till they arrive." Carlisle stated "We must plan how we are going to take them down! No one has tried and we must have the knowledge to complete this task." He replied thinking plans over in his head different strategies.

"Emmet and Jasper have gone out to find friends that will help us fight." Alice added. "You won't loose her forever Edward she will understand when your able to tell her!" Alice replied. "I know her!" She added. I nodded her words didn't help but I had to do this no matter how much it killed me I had to.

"Jasper will teach us to fight! You must doing something quick we start tomorrow." Carlisle instructed I nodded and walked out of the room.

I had decided what I would do to make Bella let me go it was going to take a lot of hard work but it must be done.

Alice followed me out of the room and down the stairs I didn't realize how late it was Bella was on the couch half asleep clearly waiting for me to go up to bed, but I couldn't I had to lie and I needed to start I had to push her away and it killed me but once again I had to hurt her to keep her safe.

**Bella's POV**

I had made my way down the stairs to wait for Edward to go to bed I couldn't sleep without him near me I just couldn't, by the time he finally came down the stairs I was half dazed and all the fear I had in me was only more confirmed when I saw the look on his face.

His face seemed cold and lifeless like there was no light in it he was just a cold figure of nothing a shadow a his old self.

"Go to bed!" he ordered when he made it fully down the stairs looking at me with a stern face his tone was ice cold and this wasn't the same Edward that stepped inside that room. I now wondered what they spoke about. I stood with shock staring at him confusion crossed my face. "Are you coming?" I asked hoping he was and that he was just in a bad mood I wanted to snap my fingers in hope he'd go back to the old Edward.

"You don't need me to go to sleep!" he practically hissed. I gulped back the gasped that would escape my lips, I nodded and tried to find me voice "ok." I replied I stood on my toes to give him a kiss on the cheek goodnight but he moved away. A disgusted look on his face, the pain from his action felt like a slap in the face. I turned my back and prayed to god the tears would stay in I didn't want him to see how badly this hurt me. What did I do?

I slowly walked up the stairs trying to not let the pain knock me to the ground. "Bella." I looked at him for a second I thought his face looked normal the old soft loving face but then quickly turned cold. "Don't wait up I'm not coming in at all!" he replied "ok" I whispered it was more like a peep I couldn't find my voice and if I could am sure it would have sounded like I was gasping for air.

I walked a little faster to my bedroom in hopes I could make it there without running into someone. I shut the door and jumped to the bed I didn't bother changing I just plopped on it letting the tears stream out and the gasping for air start I covered my head with a blanket and let them come let them pour till I couldn't breathe anymore.

_The tears fall, they're so easy to wipe off onto my sleeve, but how do I erase the stain from my heart?_

I let my mind wonder in every direction hoping that somehow it will go into sleep I never wanted to sleep more then I did now.

Some were along the lines of hoping and praying I fell into a dreamless sleep of nothingness. I woke to the bright burning light that peered through the large windows, my eyes felt sore from crying all night and it hurt to open then but I noticed Edward was standing by the window looking out, he was tracing raindrops with his fingers.

"We need to talk" he said in the same stern voice as last night. I gulped his bad mood wasn't over and I was starting to think it wasn't.

"Ok" I replied my voice sounding a bit stronger. I ran my fingers through my hair looking at him, He turned and is face almost knocking me over he was still beautiful but there was something off something weird about his face today it was empty.

I stood up walking closer to him he stepped back. I nodded looking at him.

"Bella I can't do this!" he said in an empty tone, I gulped and nodded closing my eyes hoping he didn't mean what I was thinking he meant. "Do what?" I stupidly asked "Live a lie I don't love you Bella I just _DONT!" _he said tiredly. I opened my eyes feeling like I was just smacked into the stomach. "You…..you're lying…" was all I could say not really asking just trying to tell myself that.

"No… I only came back because you had my son that was the only reason, I just don't I can't make myself… I tried I just can't I did once but its gone…" he replied . I stepped back almost loosing my balance.

"No. you can't do this you…you….ass hole…no you…" I couldn't finish it hurt too much it felt like there was a bolder on my chest.

**Edwards POV **

"You're not good enough for me! You're just not enough anymore…" I said sealing the deal adding lemon into the wound. She stumbled back I wanted to reach out and catch her but that would ruin my composer inside of me was a burning man trying to scream to get out and say these lies I said weren't true that I loved her more then anyone's loved someone.

I had to keep reminding myself why I was doing this, and part of me knew she wouldn't forgive me I knew that I could tell in her face she hated me and I would let her hate me as long as she was safe she could hate me.

**Bella's POV **

He said those words and I suddenly felt betrayed he promised he loved me he swore and he lied. I wasn't worth the truth.

I don't know were it came from but somewhere in me had enough and I felt rage and anger coming boiling inside and I knew it was stupid but I lost it. I reached out and slapped him I knew it was dumb and yes it hurt me more then it would ever hurt him but I did, I started smacking my fist against his chest I hit and I hit! Trying to release some of my anger.

"I HATE YOU!" I screeched "I hate you!" I screamed till my lungs burned "Bella….Bella" I heard Alice soft voice.."Bella honey please calm down." He whispered trying to pull me off of her brother Edward stepped back watching me loose it and Alice sat me on the floor trying to calm me I was crying out of control I didn't want him to see me like this to see me looking week.

"Bella honey look at me please.." she begged trying to pull my face towards my face. "You should leave Isabella!" Edward replied that was like pouring salt into a paper cut. I stood up my walking a little wobbly but I ran out of the room I ignored the stares of the rest of the Cullen's and just went straight to Nate's room. I pulled him out of bed wrapped a blanket around him and ran from the room.

I stopped past my bedroom pulled my uggs on grabbed my keys and before Alice or Edward could ask wear I was going I flew down the stairs. "Bella…" Esme whispered I took one last look at her threw the door open and ran out.

I buckled Nate quickly ignoring his question about Edward and threw the car into gear and drove as fast as I could away from that house away from the pain away from it all I couldn't look back I couldn't look in the rearview mirror I couldn't look back at the life I was so close to having.

I avoided the part of me that wanted to stop the car and sob, sob till I was dead. I had to keep driving I couldn't stop I had to keep my mind focused on the road on my destination.

I didn't know were to go I didn't have my apartment and I couldn't go to Charlie it would just be a reason to say I told you so! And Emily couldn't be bothered she was on bed rest she could give birth any day now I wasn't going to take her happiness. But the only other place I knew was Jacobs house, I'd go there I'd go and see Jacob I needed him I needed to see him…..

I drove past all the houses past the trees and I knew I was getting closer when I caught a glimpse of the ocean I let out a sight of relief knowing in a few moments I'd have Jacob. I pulled into Jacobs new home he shared with Quil and Jared he had moved out a year or so ago he thought it was time he started his life.

I sat there staring at it for a few moments I knew it was the most selfish thing to do I had hurt him so much! But Jacob always had a way of taking the pain away. I was about to just start the car and drive away but Jacob had already spotted me and was halfway to my car.

I sighed and stepped out. I meet him half way "Hey Bell's" he sighed with a huge smile on his face and he embraced me in a hug I hugged him back and I could feel my body tremble, I knew the tears were only a second away.

**Jacobs POV. (oh yeah I did it hehe : ) lets get inside his brain ) **

Bella was the last person I had ever expected to see pull up into my drive way but I wasn't complaining .I hadn't seen her since that day that we separated and I missed her so much and that little guy, there was no rule saying just because she was with that damn leech didn't mean I couldn't be her friend.

I threw the door open ignoring the worried look on my friends faces, I slowly walked with a stupid smile on my face I looked like a friken moron but I couldn't help it she stepped out and slowly walked meeting me half way.

I wrapped my arms around her inhaling her beautiful scent. But something was wrong I knew her enough to tell, her body was trembling and she was holding her breath trying to keep calm, I pulled away trying to look at her face. She looked at me with big brown baby deer eyes the ones I loved and the wind was blowing her hair in her face god she looked beautiful.

"What's wrong Bell's" I whispered caressing her cheek she closed her eyes took a deep breath, I noticed a stray tear slip from her eye, that fucken blood sucker did something I could tell and I soon felt my body shake.

"Please don't say I told you so…" she sobbed and placed her head on my chest, I immediately stopped shaking and wrapped my arms around her, "No Bell's never…" he body almost went week I felt like I was holding her up.

"He lied Jake he lied….he doesn't love me…" she sobbed I held her tighter.

"It will be ok Bell's…..Its going to be ok" I chanted over and over just holding her trying to make the pain go. Trying to keep Bella standing what I've always done just trying to keep Bella breathing something that damn bloodsucker kept ruining he kept trying to knock Bella down trying to kill her.

"I'm here……" I whispered and kissed her cheek yes I was here.

* * *

Yes I know don't hate me please Jacobs back just for a few short chapters he's only here to add some effect to this story, trust me Bella and Edward are not over so please don't give up on me yet, its all part of my plan theres only about 4 or 5 maybe less chapters left to this story..... i hope to finish it very soon. thanks so much.. enjoy.


	27. So this is it

Title:

Forgiving Pain.

**Author: twilight lover **731

**Rating: **T

**Warning: Yeah some bad grammar i suck...... Hope you still enjoy sorry about it.**

**Genre: **Romance/Drama

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. Its all SM's. I'M just a twilight lover who didn't want to see the story end!

**Author's note: Hope you enjoy this chapter i tried to update really soon. **

**Chapter song... Chase coy- My heart will find rest **

**Edwards POV**

I stood there my family next to me staring into the eyes of Aro he had a wicked smile and was ready to fight he had it all planned out he was going to take us out one by one, he was surprised to see how much vampires we had gotten to help us fight he didn't realize how much of us wanted to destroy them and all they had become.

"Edward there's no need to fight….just hand us over your dear Bella and the demon child and we'll be on our way.." he stated in a loving tone I let a hiss escape my lips and my family got into a attack crouch prepared to pounce.

"Over my dead body!" I roared. "I so didn't want it to come to that Edward you know how I feel for you and your family.." Aro replied in a gentle voice I felt a hiss come up my throat once again.

"Well I guess this is it isn't it?" I heard one of the many followers Jasper and Emmet had gotten to help. "Not yet first we fight!" Jasper had replied I nodded. "Well…..then it was nice knowing you dear Cullen's" Aro laughed. His army all roared and ran for us.

"NOW!" Carlisle screamed.

It all went so fast like the speed of light screams were heard blood was shed and a fire was burned…….

Many had lost and some had won before the fight had even begun.

**Bella's POV**

I had been staying with Jacob for the past few weeks, I couldn't face Charlie not just yet, Quil, Jared and Jacob didn't mind they were more then happy but that's just how they were. The only time I had spoken to a Cullen was When Alice came by to drop off money to help with Nate but that was the last time I had spoken to one of them.

I sat curled up in the dark brown chair that was in front of the window looking out to the ocean it was raining so I was tracing the window with my fingers each little drop that rolled down, I had seen Edward doing this once. My stomach jumped when I thought of him.

I over heard Nate throw something against the wall it sounded like a ball, "This way Natty" Jared laughed while calling Nate by the nick name the pact had given him when he was born. I heard Quil jump and laugh.

I missed him just as much as I hated him. I needed him just as much as I wanted to kill him, I need him with me I can't breath without him as much as I tried to believe I didn't I loved him….I did. I couldn't sleep because I was haunted with the dreams that once went away I couldn't eat because the pain was to overwhelming I couldn't move because my body ached , so I just sat here doing nothing.

It was unhealthy I shouldn't have made one person my whole life it was wrong but I did. Was there some rule written in stone that said Edward and I couldn't be together? I needed some kind of proof to show me that I couldn't be with him something to tell me to get over him something that would help me move on something just something to help me go numb inside so I could be a mother to my son.

I thought that once he had came back and said he loved me, that that was the end of the lies that we would always tell the truth but when someone lies once can they honestly change? Or even try? If he didn't love me then why would he act like he did? Why would he kiss me why would he even put up with me? I knew I was human and worthless and pointless so why bother?

I felt like i was back at square one like he had left all over again. Only this time I wasn't carrying his child.

I laid my head back against the soft cushion, that was the only thing supporting my limp body I lifted my hands to only see them shaking uncontrollably and the sobs were stuck inside I couldn't bring myself to let the come they were jammed inside of me.

This couldn't be happening not again things were perfect how could they change so sudden he swore he wouldn't grow tired of me he promised it was going to be us forever. I wish I could just cover my eyes and ears and make believe that I didn't exist anymore that I could fall into a deep darkness forever never to be awakened.

I stared at my palm for quite a while staring at the part that had smacked his face it burnt it felt like it was on fire and it was the last bit of me that touched him and I suddenly wanted to get clean of it, I wiped it with the sleeve of my shirt I wiped till I burned my skin from rubbing so hard.

"Bella?" I heard Jacob I quickly stopped and stared back outside. He came from behind then around to my side he then bent to the ground placing his warm chin on my thigh. I didn't look at him I couldn't. "Bella please listen?" he begged I nodded still looking out the window at the birds who were flying to the trees as the rain poured threatening to knock them down.

"Bella I know he hurt you…. And know that I never ever would! And Bella you need someone to take care of you…and Natty and I know this might be stupid or selfish or really bad timing but please I don't know if it would help or just make things worse.." he rambled on I looked up through my hair for the first time pulling my eyes away from the window to his face, he was debating weather or not to get to the point.

"Please consider marring me Bella…" he blurted out and then looked down. My reaction wasn't what I think him nor did I expect. I didn't think of how I loved Edward like I had the last time he asked I just turned my head and looked back out the window.

"Marry you?" I replied he looked up and nodded. I raised my brow and for the first time put time in a thought.

Maybe it was time I took some of my fathers advise maybe life didn't really consists of happily ever after or marrying the one you loved. Maybe I should just marry what's best for me. What's right; if we were in a normal world I'd marry Jacob if this world didn't have Vampires and werewolves. If Edward had died one hundred years ago I would be with Jacob, there wasn't a doubt.

Maybe I should just do the right thing and be with whom I was supposed to be with, love was all out the door for me. I didn't believe in love I couldn't love was just asking for death. Falling in love was like writing a suicide note.

I looked back at Jacobs face he was looking away afraid to see my reactions "Ok" I whispered to afraid to use my real voice afraid it would crack and hear the regret in it. He smiled "Really your fur sure this time?" he asked looking for any doubt or joking in my face I nodded hoping to not lets tears spill. Jacob sat up and swiftly pressed his lips to mine and like before I gave him a kiss. He ran out of the room to tell the guys.

I stood up and slowly walked out the door lifting my warm face up to the cold sky letting the rain pour on me trying to clean the pain away, I finally let out the sob I had been holding on to I let it come I let it come out with the rain.

"Why can't life just be happy??" I cried into the sky. I felt to my knees wobble and I clutched my chest letting the rain drown me I was so soaked but I didn't care I just let it pour on me no one could see the tears no one could see my weakness it was just me and the rain.

**Edwards POV **

The world for the first time was free of the Volturi no one had to worry about them again. We had successfully defeated them without none of ours being harmed only a few but they lived.

The world was safe, safe for Bella and my son I could get her back. Tell her the truth tell her that I love her that I was going to make her happy for all eternity and show her how sorry I was for harming her the way I did I'd never forgive myself I harmed her way to much and I'd spend all eternity saying how sorry I was even if that meant down on my knees begging with all I had.

I was preparing to call her and beg to speak you her, but before I could Alice steeped into my room with a worried look.

"What is it?" I asked while buttoning up my shirt. "She's with Jacob!" Alice sighed I froze no! She couldn't why? "Are you sure?" I asked and gulped back the fear I had she couldn't have gone back to him no.

"Yes am very sure I can't see her…she's not clear…" Alice replied while sighing in frustration at the fact that Bella was a total blur. "I have to see her!" I replied and partially running out of the room. _Be careful please Edward….don't do anything stupid! _Alice thought while trying to catch a glimpse of Bella.

I skipped driving and ran, it was a lot faster and I needed to get to her, to tell her the truth to let her know that I truly did love her that she was more then good enough for me—That it was I who was the one not worthy of her love.

I knew I'd get in trouble for crossing the line but screw the treaty as long as my son was on this side of the line then there was no way it hell I'd let a treaty stop me from crossing! I was getting closer I caught Bella's scent mixed with wet dog, yes I was getting closer one step closer now I just hoped she'd forgive me.

**Bella's POV **

I was sitting on the floor trying to build a puzzle with Nate, it as the first human thing I had done in a while the first thing I did that wasn't sitting on the couch looking out the window, I was trying to make things go back to normal back before he came back; how things always should have been.

I saw Jacob at the window then a growl spit from his chest, my head snapped up, "Fuck damn leech!" he hissed and threw the door open, _Edward_? My mind suddenly thought, I jumped from the ground and ran to the window it was Edward he was walking from the trees. What was he doing?

"Stay here!" I nearly shouted to Nate and busted out the door and stood next to Jacob "You should go back inside!" Jacob whispered "I need to speck to her!" Edward hissed I should have jumped by how fast he made it in front of us but I didn't.

I looked at Jacob then to Edward "About what?" I choked out I couldn't help the effect his face had on me the effect his voice had on me it was like being a addict who hadn't had their hit in so long seeing there drug and not being able to have it—it was troches.

"Can we speck alone?" He asked looking at me I looked back up to Jacob "Whatever you have to say you can say to me bloodsucker!" Jacob ordered I nodded.

"Very well….Bella" he sighed and reached for my hands I flinched back and Jacob growled, Edward nodded and pinched the bridge of his nose sighing "Just get it over with Edward!" I spit out in the coldest voice I could sum up.

"Bella you have to understand why I left why I said those things you have to know the truth that I—" I felt like another punch in the gut, we truly were back to square one back to the lies back to the beginning back to the same bowl shit as before!

I stepped away from Jacob and was face to face with Edward now. I let out a chuckle cutting him off he looked at me with surprise.

"Oh let me guess….your here to tell me you love me? That I'm your whole world that your life was a moonless sky before me? That you only left for my safety…well bowl shit Edward its stupid!" I hissed knowing him to well he recoiled like I had slapped him, good.

"Bella please" he begged reaching for my hands I again pulled away.

"No you listen Edward its your turn to listen!" I screamed I all but forgot that Jacob was behind me listening to it all. "I loved you Edward! I made you my whole life I would have done everything…..I did everything to be with you! We could have been happy!" I hissed trying not to loose it. He didn't say anything.

"I'm not that same stupid girl who's just going to take you back like before! What did you expect Edward? For you to come back say a few more lies and run into your arms thanking god you came back?" I screamed he still didn't speck.

"No Edward not again! You were the worst mistake I made!" I hissed he flinched I felt the tears come it was my turn to hurt him. My turn to add salt into the wounds. I wiped the tears away. "Bella…" he tried to speak.

"No Edward… there's nothing more to say what we had is gone and over.. I don't feel a thing for you…." I said sealing the deal and pulling my heart out.

"Very well..." he stated while looking to the sky. I stepped back to Jacobs's side.

"You should go….there's no reason for you to be here…I'm marrying Jacob in a few days…its over" I replied feeling the last punch to my weak heart. Jacob pulled his arms around me. Edwards's eyes snapped open and he stared at Jacob with anger.

"I'm going back inside.." I replied in a dull tone "Goodbye…..Edward" I replied sealing my heart away and slowly watching it go away as I made my way back into the house I wanted so badly to take one last glance at him one last look of what I had but knowing it would be a bad idea.

Jacob stayed out side.

I pulled Nate to my lap and placed my face in his hair he giggled. My last bit of Edward.

**Jacobs POV. **

I stared at the filthy leech for the last time. "Please….take care of her!" he whispered in a voice a normal person wouldn't be able to hear. "I will…a lot better then you ever did!" I hissed enjoying my reward I had won.

"I will still fight for her Jacob…till she says I do. I will fight for her!" Edward responded I growled.

"Have you ever thought that I might be the right choice for her?" I asked he nodded and let out a tiredly chuckle. "Goodbye Jacob!" he replied and turned the other way.

"Till she says I do." He said over his shoulder I couldn't help the anger that engulfed me. He wasn't taking her from me not again!

**Bella's POV. **

A few more days had past since that meeting that ended it all for me, that ended the life I always wanted and started the life that I was supposed to have. I was on speaking terms with my father again, of coarse we'd never be as close as before but we were speaking I guess that was good you could say. My mother was here, she insisted on coming to help plan this stupid wedding that I wish was over already. She had been helping Sue and the others plan it all. I wanted to get married as quick as possible I didn't want to wait a few months I needed it to happen before I realize I was making a huge mistake before I changed my mind and went running back like a lost puppy I needed to get this over with.

I had been asked about fifty times if I was sure by Emily who was agreeing to be a maid of Honor and each time I dully replied yes I was positive.

I had to hear everyday about were Edward was from Nate, of coarse I should expect it he was Edwards son and I was wrong to keep them apart. I'd let him see his one day but I wasn't ready I couldn't face him not yet.

**Few more days later. **

It was the day of the joke of a wedding and people were running around like crazy. Jacobs front yard was covered with White flowers and light yellow ribbons, it was transformed from a dull yard to being filled with tables and chairs and draped with while roses. I listened to my mother freak about hearing the weather man say it was going to rain today which would not be good with a beach wedding.

I ignored it all.

I was an hour away from being Mrs. Jacob Black, Nate was out with my father and I was in the back room getting ready.

I stood head on staring at my own dead empty brown eyes in the mirror that now looked like pitiful black holes of nothing. I let out a huff of air. The white gown on my body didn't mean a thing. And this stupid veil didn't mean anything and all the people out side meant little. I knew this was the worst thing I could do that I would be living a lie for the rest of my stupid life but I was doing it and there was nothing to do not I was on to walk down the aisle and give myself away and minute now.

I stood a few more seconds staring at myself before I was interrupted.

"You look painfully broken Bella..." I snapped my head to the window to watch a beautiful blond step inside. "Rose…." I whispered she was dressed in a red sundress with her hair pulled into a bun with stray curls.

"What….." I couldn't finish, "You had to know the truth…" she stated and came right beside me fixing the mess of a hair I had she pulled it from the up do bun my mother had picked out and let my loose curls flood down my back.

She turned me over wiped the red lipstick from my lips and the light gold eye shadow from my eyes. "There you go I knew the old Bella was in there somewhere…" she sighed I blinked the tears from my eyes.

"What are you doing here?" I asked finding my voice. She smiled. "I'm here to tell you your making the biggest mistake of your whole life Bella!" he responded I pulled away. "I don't want to hear it!" I hissed looking back to the mirror.

"_No! _You're going to listen to the truth to the whole truth even if I have to tie you to a chair you will listen!"

I stood there motion less my mouth open as her story came to a halt. "He's always loved you. More then you'll ever know!" she clearly finished I couldn't breath I was shocked. "He had to fight to save me…why?" I asked now sobbing.

"Such a silly question….why do you think? For someone so smart you can be really stupid!" she hissed

I stared at her tears welling in my eyes "You have to go…" I simply replied saying nothing about her story, nothing about Edward risking everything for me his own life meant nothing to him as long as he kept me safe. She gave me a disgusted look "Congrats you blushing bride" she hissed and jumping back out the window and disappearing into the trees. I felt like I was hit with a ton of bricks.

"Shit!" I screamed as I threw my flowers across the room watching them smack into the wall and pull apart leaving little petals on the ground. I whipped around in shock to the sound of someone entering the room

. "Jacob oh… I'm sorry you can't see me its bad luck." I replied while trying to wipe the tears from my eyes.

He came closer and hugged me. "Go" he whispered I looked up. "What." I asked dumbfounded shock crossing my whole face.

"I heard it all go Bella! You always belonged to him and I was stupid to take you away." He smiled

"Jake I can't." I cried he huffed. "I'm not in the mood to get married and to be honest I think it wasn't about love for me…I think it was about winning I wanted something I couldn't have…..and I'm done living a lie…I finally feel like a weights been lifted off my shoulders so I'm good." He laughed but I could see the pain in his eyes.

"I will always love you Jacob Black you are truly my best friend.." I said he smiled. "Dido Bells go get Em." He laughed softly. "Are you going to be ok?" I asked. "Better then ok." He replied my heart hurt for him. I pulled away and kissed his cheek. "Love you best friend." He gulped back and smiled "Go Bella run before he gets away!" he spoke I nodded and just before I was about to run out of the room Jacob tossed me some keys "Its way faster then running I promise. He laughed I smiled "Thanks!" I replied and ran out of the room. Leaving my Jacob alone with nothing but the pain I left him with.

I'd feel guilty later but now I had to get to Edward get to the man I love. I ran through the front doors and past all the people here I jumped on Jacobs bike and hit the engine and hit gear and was away from it all in a signal second. Hearing nothing but the screams of my mother and father.

I though me veil up into the air and letting my hair blow in the wind I felt free….I was moments away from my Edward I was so close….just wait a little longer Edward our wait is almost up……

* * *

Hummmm...... This wasn't my favorite chapter to be honest....hummm don't know why... I hope you all enjoy it, am excited and sad to say were only about one chapter away from the ending.....


	28. A human life over

**Edward POV**

I couldn't take it anymore every tick of the clock was killing me. Not only could I not see her I couldn't see my son! The two people I fought for the two people I killed for! They were gone taken away she left without nothing more to say. Yes I hurt her and no I never deserved her I never expected her to forgive me not one bit of me believed that she ever would.

I ran my fingers through my hair with frustration I was back at square one, drowning in the pain of loosing her. I took a deep breath trying to keep calm for fear I'd scream.

Nothing was the same; I thought she'd be back in my arms by now. I should have just told her the friken truth, taken her away for a while then come back to fight! She would have understood I knew she would have. I doubted her way to much! I doubted the strength that little human girl had! I should have said the truth never told her a lie.

I took a glance at the clock and knew what time it was, she was going to Mrs. Black the wife to another not mine she'd be in her perfect white dress looking like an angel straight out of heaven. A vision I only imagined a few times, I let my mind wonder the thoughts of her coming down the aisle to the music seeing her whole family an—I let out a moan, it hurt so badly. I couldn't live without her it was so hard I just threw it all away, I should have just told her the truth some way of telling her it and making sure she was out of harms way I shouldn't have lied to her I shouldn't have done what I had done.

I laid my hand on my chest on the exact spot she laid on only a few nights ago, the very spot she smacked her fragile little hands to me.

I couldn't handle it anymore! I ran through the balcony doors of my bedroom and jumped out almost hitting a tree. I ran, I ran as fast as I could. I would hunt let my instincts take over let me forget about it just focus on my prey and nothing more.

Forget the rest of the world.

**Bella's POV**

I was so close only a few more minutes and I'd be in his arms just a few more seconds. I slowly pressed on the gas a little more speeding myself up. I ignored all the honks of cars passing me and glad when I finally made it out of town I could almost see the opening to the Cullen's house it was almost dark and the wind was picking up; rain was coming.

I speed into the gravel drive and jammed the brakes shutting the engine and running to the tall front door, I banged my fist as hard as I could I knew they could hear either way but I was to frantic. Esme answered the door. "Bella dear?" she asked surprised by my visit and clearly on what I was wearing.

"Where's…..Edward?" I asked out of breath while looking through the door to see if he was there. "Sweetie he's out hunting you can wait for—"I quickly turned away ignoring the rest she had to say. I ignored the bike and used my bare feet I ran straight into the forest barefoot. I couldn't wait I needed to see him.

"Bella no!" I heard Esme scream I ignored her and continued to run I felt the seem of my dress rip open and expose my thigh but I didn't bother to stop and look. I just ran my lungs burned but I couldn't stop. It got darker and colder as I ran more into the forest it quickly started to pour and drench me but I didn't let that stop me either I needed to get to him. I could only think of one place he'd be and that was my destination.

Our meadow.

I ignored the sharp rocks and bark the cut my feet I just ran and the pain was soon forgotten I needed to get to him I had too! I couldn't lose him not again.

I was so close but yet so far I saw the little opening but it felt like I'd never make it so I started screaming "Edward" I shouted with all I had over and over again in hopes he'd hear me and come to me. I needed him to hear me to know I was coming that there was nothing to forgive that I wanted to be with no one but him.

That he was all I'd ever want that I wanted to spend all of forever with him and with him only.

"Edward" I screamed once again as I reached out little meadow I could hardly see through the rain but I could tell there was no one here. "Edward" I screamed again looking around my voice cracked as the burning from the running came up, I felt a bang of fear when I saw something run behind me and back into the forest.

"Edward?" I asked my breathing was heavy and I knew I was hard to understand, there was no answer "Edward" I whispered no answer. The dark figure ran past me once again. I suddenly remembered a conversation I had with him a long time ago it felt like a century ago.

"_When we hunt we give ourselves to our instincts. It would be too dangerous to have you there_" those words played in my head over and over like a broken record.

He had to stop if it came that close he would stop he knows it's me he would stop I know he would.

The dark figure ran past me once again, I jumped back I could tell it was Edward I just knew it. "Edwar—"I was cut off; the figure pounced onto me knocking me to the cold wet ground and clutching my neck.

I started breathing uncontrollably and a shiver went up my spine. "Edward it's me!" I whispered with the little air I was able to get, I looked into his dark black eyes that stared at me with thirst. "Edward please its Bella! You have to remember please remember!" I tried to scream.

He did something I was not expecting; he bent his head down as if to kiss me but I felt a sharp pain in my neck. "Ahh" I let out a scream, and then it started I felt myself get weaker and the burn started.

I couldn't breathe and I felt as if I had been lit on fire that I was dropped into a volcano I couldn't hear a thing beside I shriek and a growl. I clutched the forest floor trying to hold anything to keep myself from going into darkness. I felt my vision blur and then I was flying so fast I couldn't raise my head. The burn got worse as it increased.

I couldn't think clearly nothing seemed real nothing at all, I all but almost forgot why I even was in the forest why this happened. I tried to find a signal face in my lost thoughts something to hold onto but the burn covered it all and it got rid of everything in its tracks. I felt myself be laid on a hard surface and I couldn't feel the rain anymore I couldn't feel anything beside the flames of hell.

I guess this was a good way to go the last thing to touch me was Edward his lips to my neck.

I felt each of my veins have a rush of heat burn threw them; I wanted to hear voice to help me keep from falling into the fire.

**Edwards POV. **

I was so stupid why I couldn't see her why didn't I stop! I mentally thought as I ran through the forest charring Bella's limp body. Each time she screamed was like a knife to my chest. I couldn't handle this I had to stop this.

I laid Bella as gently as I could on the wooden table, Esme was in the corner sobbing and Rose was grasping Bella's hands. "Bella…Bella...its ok!" she comforted I looked at Carlisle in the eyes; my eyes were clearly drowned with agony.

"We have to suck it out…again! I have to!" I said to him and rushed back to Bella's struggling body, her eyes were rolled in the back of her head and she was shaking I couldn't handle this. I grabbed her shoulders prepared to suck out my venom.

"You have to hurry the change his almost complete!" Carlisle replied while coming to my side prepared to stop anything bad from happening.

**Bella's POV**

I could feel my hand being grasped and the coolness of it didn't help the burn at the tips of my fingers I tried not to struggle as much as I was because I was afraid of hurting Edward, but I couldn't help it, this pain was horrible words could not explain. The burn was everywhere. In my legs to my toes and down my back.

It burned in my chest the most it was like someone poured gas down my throat then I swallowed a match. I would have taken childbirth over this I would have taken my leg being snapped by James fifty more times and smiled with happiness and thankfulness anything but this burn.

I felt someone grasp my shoulders still so I couldn't move and then in a faint distance I heard a voice that before this moment I had all but forgotten; Edwards. "We have to suck it out…..I'll stop the pain Bella!" I heard him in faint whisper barley noticeable.

I couldn't really think enough to relies what he was attempting till I felt his mouth against my scorching neck. No! He couldn't this was the only way we could be together forever. It had to happen sometime as tempting as it was at the fact he could take the burn away. I needed to feel the burn to feel the burn in order to be with him forever its what I wanted.

With the little strength I had I opened my lips and choked out a few words trying not to scream "Don't please…" I begged I couldn't hear myself so I knew it sounded more like a choke. I wondered if he could understand my words, I saw is face turn confused "Are you crazy!" he all but yelled. His expression made me close my eyes trying to keep calm.

I dug my nails into the hard stone table I was laid on trying to grasp onto anything.

"Please no…." I replied again trying to push him away but not sure if I even lifted my arms. I felt num like someone had tied my limbs to something I couldn't open my eyes I could open my mouth like I had been put to sleep but my mind still awake.

I instantly knew what had happened 'morphine' Carlisle had injected me with it in hopes the pain would be so bad, but I knew it wouldn't work I had had venom and morphine in my body once before, it wasn't a great combo.

"Edward she's right you too can't be without each other this is the only way!" Carlisle replied, "I can't let her do this" he sighed again placing his forehead to mine.

"Please…." I whispered, at least I thought I did, I wasn't sure if I even moved my lips.

Nothing felt real I felt as if I was dropped into a cage gagged and blindfolded my hands tied and all then the cage lit on fire. The only thing I felt was someone's hand in mine. I desperately tried to think of my son and Edward, I tried holding on to there faces in my memory but it was hard when all I wanted was to end the burn.

I fell into a subconscious state of pure burn and darkness, I couldn't move and I couldn't speak all I felt was the burning ace and I slowly counted each second trying not to scream. I counted each breath of the person sitting next to me. Each squeeze they gave my hand.

One million three thousand five hundred breaths later something started to happen the pain dulled from my toes to the tips of my fingers I started to twitch them one by one, the pain increased to the max in my chest I squeezed the hand of the person holding it, I arched my back not knowing if I was screaming.

"It's almost time!" I heard a sweet angel voice Alice no doubt, but I couldn't make it out for sure. "I hope she's not in to much pain…I can never forgive myself…." I instantly knew that voice, which was one voice I would always be able to be sure of.

The burn seemed to get hotter kinda like someone increased the temperature on the stove. I heard a faint beat that was going one hundred miles an hour it quickened then slowly started to slow down; my heart. I knew it was in the last beats I wasn't sure if I'd miss the sound of it.

It beat its last few time's then I stopped completely, I was changed.

I squeezed my fists and twitched my arms; I could hear everything sounds of footsteps, breaths, cars, birds, water bubbling and sounds of animals drinking from it. I heard it all.

I felt the movement right next to me and I quickly snapped my eyes open prepared to protect myself. I was surprised at how much I could see I saw every hint of dust, everything every twitch of light.

I slowly turned my head feeling like my ears opened like I had been under water for so long and I was getting rid of the water that was in it, it was a feeling of relief engulfed me.

I was in a fresh new room it was warm and the air was thick. I had a dry taste in my mouth almost like thirst but water wasn't what I wanted.

I lifted my head an noticed him sitting there looking at me with adoration like a man would look at the person he loved like he was looking at the most beautiful thing in the world, at first I wasn't sure he was even looking at me, _Edward looked just as beautiful as he did in before, staring at me out at me with the warm eyes I'd missed for the past few days. It was almost uncanny that anyone could look so… so… beyond description. No thousand words could equal to this one person_. I lifted myself first with my elbows then my hands my movements felt weird like it was all new. He stared at me like he was preparing for me to fall over or something like he wasn't sure what was going to happen next.

"Bella—"in a second before he could finish what he had to sat I threw myself into his arms I hadn't felt him in so long. I placed my face to his chest that wasn't so old anymore. We were finally the same like we should have always been. I felt at home in his two arms. He lifted my face from his chest and placed kisses on my lips my cheek, my neck and my forehead, I kissed back threw dry sobs and for the first time in quite a while I felt whole, safe, like that hole that filled up the pits of my stomach for so long weren't there, that he never left and we where how we should have always been as one and that was never to change not in a million years were ever he'd go I'd follow and so forth.

I was happy I didn't think I'd get to feel what I was feeling now I couldn't explain it but I wasn't complaining I couldn't explain happy wasn't the word. We were the same he couldn't get tired of me now, were he went I would follow for the rest of eternity.

**Edwards POV**

I looked down at that face that was so remarkably beautiful words could not explain, of coarse they weren't the same brown eyes I'd always known but they were the new eyes of the women I'd spend forever with. Nothing could part us we'd be together for all eternity just us and our son. Forever and ever. This is how we should have always been I couldn't believe someone like her could love a monster like me.

Breaking the silence I finally spoke, she looked at me fully intending to listen not ready to use her knew voice.

"Bella Though the years the painful and the happy we both changed so much…..were still as stubborn and hard headed but we've changed Bella you became the of my son and I became a father, but one thing that has not changed that has never changed that will never change for as long as the sun continues to rise and much longer then that Bella, I love you! And I will always love you, and I promise to spend the rest of eternity making you happier then you've ever been. I love you Isabella Swan…my Bella!"

Alice was right she always had been, I was wrong Bella was strong enough to love me as much as I loved her I had to give her more credit, our enemies were gone and I had saved the two things that will always be the most important to me.

A long time ago Bella was just some stupid girl that was an outsider someone who came to destroy all I had worked for, the day she walked into that science lab I never in all the years I had lived would have thought I would marry this remarkable girl that she would give me a child. She was so much stronger then me even as a little human girl she was so much stronger.

I loved this girl more then words could describe.

**Bella's POV **

Edward finished what he had to say and I knew if I was human I would be tearing up but I didn't know what to say it was all to perfect I didn't want my stupid self to ruin this. "Edward I don't think it's possible to make me anymore happier then I already am, I love you and when I say I love you I don't mean for today or for tomorrow or for a while mean forever I mean that Edward Cullen you can't get rid of me not anymore!" I finished with a smile he smiled back.

He slowly trying to be gentle pressed his lips to mine and he gave me the first kiss to all eternity.

Finally we were together like I had always wanted. My forever was starting now and it wouldn't end, as long as I had Edward and Nathan and the rest of the Cullen's my life was complete I'd never need anything else for as long as I walked this earth.

Every now and then Rose ark's why I forgave Edward for all he did, and I reply "how could I not?" he was everything I'd always want forever sometimes you have to for give for the pain someone give you. "Forgiving pain" I always say.

_You know Edward thinks' his life ended when he_

_Was changed, but I think he's wrong because when_

_I was changed it was just the_

_Beginning__._


End file.
